I WAS TRYING TO BE NICE, DAMMIT!
Yesterday, Chris called me about mid-morning to tell me how bad his day was going. And it just got worse from there. I felt bad for him. He’s got a lot on his plate at work and he’s running on night of interrupted sleep after night of interrupted sleep. It can’t be easy. When he called to tell me he would be working late, I decided to surprise him with a take out sushi dinner at home. We had a gift card to a sushi place that we haven’t been able to use yet and this seemed like just the right time. I called in an order to pick up, threw the kids in the car, and headed out in rush hour traffic. This was going to make his day!
With two kids now, I’m always thinking ahead as to how I’m going to transport them whenever we get somewhere. Most situations are pretty easy – Gracie in the sling, Bean in the stroller. Good to go. But I still have trouble with those little “run in” stops when I have to just run in get something. And this sushi pick up was going to be one of those. I needed to run in and pick up our food. That shouldn’t take long and it didn’t seem to warrant any real baby equipment, like the stroller. So, I decided that I’d put Gracie in her sling since that’s pretty easy and quick and then I’d let Bean walk. Quick and easy. Down and dirty. Over and out.
Before I describe to you how everything went to hell on this short trip, let me set the scene for you:
This sushi place is in a nicer part of town and is one of those chic and trendy places where toddlers and infants would stick out like a sore thumb. You should also know that adjacent to the sushi place is another really nice restaurant. Also, both of these restaurants have full glass windows looking out onto the sidewalk and parking lot. So, hypothetically speaking, if a toddler was to have a nervous breakdown on the sidewalk, BOTH restaurants would be able to see quite clearly.
Are you following me here? Good, let’s go on.
So, I get to the sushi place and park. Then I put Gracie in her sling and take Bean’s hand and we walk past the other restaurant and into the sushi restaurant like normal people. Immediately when I get there, the stick-figure of a hostess who is dressed in a shockingly short, shockingly tight black suit gives me the once over. I was a sight to behold, too. I hadn’t put on make up or done my hair. I don’t think I’d showered in two days. I had a grubby toddler by one hand and a baby in a sling whose feet were hanging out like a little tiny redheaded redneck. I couldn’t blame her really for the horrified look she gave me.
“Hi, I need to pick up an order I placed by phone,” I said in my nicest voice. “Here is my gift card.”
And she just stared at me.
“It should be under the name Katie,” I said.
Finally, she made an effort to look around and located my food. Then, sighing heavily, she motioned to my gift card, “Is there enough money on that card to pay for this?”
I didn’t like her tone. But maybe I was just defensive because of her sleek black suit.
“Well, I’m not sure. Could you give me my total?”
And then she stood there in silence again just staring at me like I was inconveniencing her.
“Fine,” she huffed. “But I’m going to have to call my manager.”
“To give me my total?” I asked. “The total isn’t on the receipt right there?”
“Uh…no,” she said. “And your son is about to pick up that candle.”
By this point, Bean was getting a little fidgety. It was late in the day, he wasn’t allowed to touch anything in this place, and he was hungry.
“Bean, put that down,” I said, without really looking. “Could you hand me that receipt, please? I’d really like to pay and get going.”
“Your son’s name is Bean?” she asked.
“It’s a nickname.”
She just stood there staring again, so I finally reached over and took the receipt myself and then handed her the gift card. She disappeared into the back to pay my bill while I attempted to keep Bean from climbing all over the white mohair couches in the lobby.
She finally came back with my receipt, I took the sushi, grabbed Bean by the hand and headed out. Just outside the front door of the restaurant there was a small fountain that was just too enticing for Bean. He headed straight for the fountain and before I could grab him, he put both hands straight down into the water.
Perfect.
Holding onto Gracie and my bag of sushi with one hand, I grabbed Bean by the hand with the other and told him it was time to go. And that’s when it happened. Bean went completely limp and he dangled from his arm while I stood there, well aware of the happy hour crowd of 20-somethings that stood in the bar just on the other side of the big window we were standing in front of.
“Bean, stand up!” I said. But he only laughed and continued to dangle. “Stand up, Bean! Right now! You need to walk like a big boy!”
More giggles. More dangling.
So, I started walking. Now, I’m holding Gracie in her sling, sushi in one hand, my wallet up under my arm, and a giant toddler dangling from the other hand. Oh, and I was wearing a skirt. This was not working.
I stopped and squatted down face-to-face with Bean as best as I could.
“Michael, you need to be a big boy and walk. Can you help Mommy take Gracie to the car?”
“NO!” he yelled and he continued to lay there in the middle of the sidewalk outside this incredibly chic restaurant in a very nice part of town while his underdressed and overly stressed mother stood there like a complete moron.
“Fine,” I said. “Then I’ll carry you.”
And I proceeded to have my finest moment of parenting yet. I dragged my laughing toddler all the way past two glass-windowed restaurants and over to my car. It was possibly the longest walk of my life. I was mortified. And angry. And tired. AND ALL I WAS TRYING TO DO WAS BE NICE TO MY HUSBAND, DAMMIT!
When we got to my car, Bean, naturally, stood up to walk on his own.
“Uh oh!” he said. “Shoes fall down! Where go shoes?”
I looked down at his feet and saw that he was now only wearing one shoe. I looked around the car and there was no shoe to be seen. So, taking Bean by the hand, I walked back up to the dreaded Sidewalk of Shame and just about cried when I saw Bean’s shoe laying all the way back by the fountain. Seeing that we were now going to walk even more, Bean went limp again.
I ended up having to drag him back past those damn glass windows, pick up his shoe (which now meant I was carrying an infant in a sling, a to go box of sushi, my wallet, a limp toddler, and a shoe…), and then drag him back by those same windows again. Only this time, Bean had had enough and was starting to cry. Loudly. Making it appear that I was now abusing my child.
What should have been a quick dash into a restaurant to pick up dinner turned into a 30 minute ordeal that made me look around for a television crew. Surely, I was being set up. But there were no cameras or cheesy TV host. It was just an overtired mother who had lost all control.
Some days I have it all together. My house is clean, Bean plays quietly, Gracie eats well and naps soundly, and I fold laundry while watching Oprah. But then there are those other days where nothing seems to be easy or quiet or controlled. On those days I just want to kick someone in the shins and pull my hair out. I guess the trick in parenting is to make sure you have more of the Oprah days than you do of the shin kicking days. Or, at the very least, to make sure you have enough wine in your house to successfully block the memory of the shin kicking days.
Now that’s parenting at it’s finest.
51 Comments
Sara @ embrylovescookies
I’m so glad that you post stories like this. It really helps all the other mothers out there feel like they are not alone. That we are all going through the same day to day stuff. Some good and some bad. Some really great, and some really bad. Thanks, Katie!
Kimmi
Oh, Katie! This makes my ovaries feel like they want to shrivel up and die…good thing those two trouble makers are so cute or else I’d have to get a hysterectomy before I even come close to having little ones!! But, even after reading things like this, I still want my own little Bean 🙂
Carrie
Oh Katie… I am sitting here in my office dreading my day ahead (we are burying my grandpa today), but then I see this post come across my Facebook and I instantly chuckle!!! Leave it to you to make me smile!!!
Kat @ Living Like the Kings
Oh man Katie. First off, that judgmental, know-nothing Witch at the restaurant needs to seriously consider a job that doesn’t require helping customers. I hate that. And it’s not just the black suit (which doesn’t help). But the fact that she seems totally clueless about the job she’s doing to start with. Secondly, why does she care that you call your kid Bean? I happen to think it’s a perfectly acceptable name. On a completely different note, I can’t believe that Gracie just stayed in her sling that entire time! 1/2 perfectly behaved children should impress the strangers in the restaurants.
Liss
You know, if those restaurants were full of people who actually have kids, you would have gotten knowing, sympathetic looks and a bunch of people helping you. I only have one kid to juggle, but I have been in similar situations, and they always seem to happen when I’m wearing dresses or skirts… Hmmm…
Probably the biggest hardship that snobby hostess had to ‘endure’ that day was having to give a customer the total of their order – I mean, can you imagine, of all things?! … I always find these things are infuriating and embarrassing and stressful at the time, but I’m laughing at it soon enough, and I think that’s an important part of parenting, too.
So was it all worth it? Did the sushi make Chris’ day?
Kat @ Living Like the Kings
OO also – was Chris impressed with his dinner?
Sumer
I’m sorry to say, but I love it that other people experience what I do on an almost daily basis. Nothing makes me madder than when my 4 year old goes limp or better yet, flops on the ground like a fish. Keep smiling!!
Bonnie B.
I’d be happy to go smack that hostess for ya, would that help? = )
These are those mothering stories you EARN and will joyfully regale your friends with for years to come. Love it!
Breann
Aw man! That sounds like something you might laugh at later on when you look back on it… but still..
But – did he like the sushi you brought him?
kk
next time just make chocolate cake.
Both Bean and Chris would love it 🙂
Sarah R
So did Chris at least appreciate your trying to be nice on his bad day?
Tiffany
Aw, Katie. You are still a Supermom. Everyone has days they’d rather not remember! As maddening as the situation was, I’m sure it felt ten times worse to you than it looked to anyone else. And above anything else, you have two beautiful, smart, happy, well-adjusted kids and you are doing a great job with them. I have so much respect for what you and Chris have been able to accomplish in such a relatively short time, what with all the grad school and moving and new jobs and babies! Keep your chin up. All your imaginary friends love you!
Sara
“Or, at the very least, to make sure you have enough wine in your house to successfully block the memory of the shin kicking days.”
Hahaha,Love it. Sorry you had a rough evening, but you’ve gotta admit it’s funny when you look back on it. Right?…. Right??
Ashley @ A Recipe for Sanity
What a hot mess! And I was not aware that the Wicked Witch of the West worked in an Orlando sushi restaurant. I hope at least it was a nice dinner at home with Chris and that the sushi was delicious!
Rachel
How was dinner? Did Chris enjoy it? Just remember these days wll pass, and every mother has been there. You’re doing a great job.
Lee Ann
Please don’t hate me, but I am laughing out loud so hard my stomach hurts!
Jen M
Is it bad that I was laughing (and feeling your pain). When my daughter is beyond rationalizing with her, I’m not above “leaving” her. But that’s much more difficult to do with an audience! Did Chris enjoy the sushi?
Alyssa
Wow, so Chris’ bad day turned into your bad day too! That sounds really awful, especially since you were just trying to do a nice thing. I think you handled it pretty well!
Mary@My Life in Scotland
You just described my nightmare. I’ve got a 3 month old and we don’t get out much because of this very reason. I know it is going to happen someday, and I’m going to not know what to do when it does…
Catie Eliza
I am so sorry, I have these kinds of moments, and I think most real human people do, I wish I was one of those calm collected nothing phases me types, but I’m. not. I found this post refreshing to read, even though I’m sorry you had to have such a nightmare while you were actually awake. ugh! xx
Mindee@ourfrontdoor
Oh for the good old days when you could just leave little ones in the car without busy bodies calling 911 to report child abandonment.
Jen @ caved in
Oh Katie, Im so sorry. What a mess. I think you’re right about the good days outnumbering the bad and the wine necessary to get you through the bad. I really hope you and Chris had a better night after all that crap.
Amy L Butler
I have the same kind of days all of the time. I can’t stand my children to act up or be disruptive in public. I believe that they know this and that they use it against me to their advantage. At home they can be just fine and dandy and then you take them out in public and they lose their minds. I’m glad that I am not alone in this crazy/wonderful world of motherhood!
Emily
To make you feel better, while at a store my 3-year old walks away from me and then when she refuses to come back or follow me.. starts screaming “mommy you have to come back… mommy where are you..” are though i have left her for someone else kidnap… those days i dont know if i would mind…
Julie
Oh Katie. You poor thing! I would like to tell the hostess that was giving you the “eye-over” that someday if she chooses to be a mom, she will pick sleep over getting ready. I only get ready for church, a date with my husband, or a big event at the district level. Spending time with my daughter is more important than looking like a million bucks. Thank you for sharing this story. May you have an Oprah day today!
Suzanne
I sure wish I could have been there with you to smack that uppity witch across the face for you! Mercy!
I hope Chris enjoyed his dinner after all that 🙂
Waiting for Bulgaria
The girl obviously doesn’t have kids. Otherwise she would get it. This just cracks me up.
Rachel
Haha, I’ve been there. Sometimes I wish I had a few extra hands 🙂
Cheryl
Thank you so much for posting about this… too often I have days like this and feel like I’m the only one… now if only all of the days could be Oprah days… mind you I’m more of an Ellen girl, myself :p
julie
I have a story like that from a quick trip into the post office yesterday…
Lindsay (Young Married Mom)
Oh, dear! But you survived! Maybe next time find a place that delivers?
Courtney
Agreed, wine pretty much makes everything better! 🙂
Amy
Oh Katie…my stomach is cringing for you. Bless you!
Heidi
This makes me want to smack the woman in the “sleek black suit”. If she had anything at all going for her in the way of compassion or smarts, she would have helped you to the car with your sushi. Even my *dry-cleaner* offers to help me to my car and hook the hangers.
Tara@ThatsaWrap
Seriously too funny. I am so picturing one of two areas of town that this happened in which makes this story so much better! I can totally see it and I am sorry but I am laughing in anticipation of this will sure enough be me. I love the days that we make no effort but sure enough those are the days that we will surely be on display for the world! My son has now decided to start screaming uncontrollably and I have decided we will be hiding out till he is 5 because I don’t need the police taking him from me thinking I beat the poor kid. I hope the sushi from there was at least worth it! And just wait till a GNO you will so be on that other side of the glass and while we all say we would help we are such liars we would grin, giggle and sip on our cocktail thankful that for once it was not us!
Casey
If it makes you feel any better, my 11 month old ate it on a brick pool deck today and landed on his face. In front of a bunch of sunning teenagers. Who all looked at me like I was crazy. I wanted to yell, “I was you 10 years ago, girls!”
Rebecca @ The Reluctant Housewife
oh Katie, I can’t stop laughing! But only because I completely understand. I think every mother does. It just makes you want to scream, doesn’t it??? And drink. I swear, I hardly ever drank at all before I was a parent, and now…I still don’t, but good Lord, there are days when I wish I kept a stocked cabinet!!!
Cindy In Owensboro, KY
What would have been really nice is if someone from one of those 2 restaurants would have came out and helped you, obviously people that eat there do not have young children at home.
MistyK
Thats why I plan to keep to the motto, When in doubt, oull the stroller out. If it wasnt for that basket under I would be a walking space case. Thank you for shareing!
Meredith
You poor thing! I guess it’s just part of being a mommy but STILL! I can’t even TELL YOU what I would have done/said to that broad at the sushi place! PLEASE tell me you are going to call and complain! Even though I have a feeling that’s just the kind of place it is, and the manager would probably act the same. Sorry it was a rough one girl!!!
Beth @ Persnickety Hall
I’m not a violent person, but that hostess makes me want to punch her in the face. Just saying.
Honestly i don’t know how you mothers (and fathers) out there do it. I was a full time nanny for two toddlers a few years back and the only things i ever had the guts to venture to with them were child based activities / places. That in itself was a chore. Can’t imagine what it must be like on a regular basis. Serious props to you!
Chloe
Awww… you poor thing!!
I’m sorry about this situation!
Did Chris like the sushi?
Melissa
Okay, I shouldn’t laugh, but OMG….I don’t have kids, but I have certainly had days like yours and can appreciate the situation. I had to laugh though….hard. Keep in mind, I’m the one who laughs when someone falls down too. Thanks for sharing! Hope you can laugh about it now too.
Amy @ A Little Nosh
I think every parent has had that moment at least three or four times. I know I have. Makes me all sweaty to think about!
Nate's Mom @ Nate is Great
Your situation provided birth control for all those gawking 20-somethings. At least Bean was giggling for most of it! I still can’t manage a run-in with one tot. Our dry cleaning has been at the dry cleaners for over a week because I can’t deal to get Nate in and out of the car, which seems to take forever, just to get some clothes. And you managed dinner, a white couch, a water fixture, and a shoe failure. You deserve a prize! (Was the sushi good?)
Ashley @ According to Ashley
PLEASE tell me there was a brief moment where you considered just leaving the shoe and heading home? I have to say the thought definitely would have crossed my mind.
And…..Did Chris appreciate the sushi?!?
Barbara Manatee
oh wow…have I had days that can relate to this! with twin 2 year olds and an infant, logistics of how to get everyone in one place, by myself, was always my biggest challenge. Sure hope Chris enjoyed that Sushi!!
Lori @ I Can Grow People
While reading this, I wanted to punch that sushi hostess in the face for you.
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Clare
Ohhhh I have SO been there! I remember my middle son – now 9 – having a full on tantrum in a busy street, kicking and screaming like I was trying to murder the little darling. I picked him up to carry him back to my car and he delivered a swift and well aimed kick right into my pubic bone. I thought I was going to pass out from the pain! So, I had to hobble/walk while carrying a very wriggly 3 year old, all the while avoiding the glares of disapproval from the ‘Mummy Mafia’.
I am SO glad it isn’t just me that has to endure these little incidents!
Danielle
Sorry! Never fun! I had to drag my three year old out of the zoo and of course we were all the way in the back. People usually stare when you have a screaming child and they were all looking AWAY! It was that bad. To top it off he started punching me when he figured out he could not pull himself free. I tend to laugh when I am dealing with those two& three year old tantrums but that definitely pushed me to my limit! I did laugh however when I put him over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes kicking and screaming from the Aquarium. Some days are just better days for a tantrum I guess. Here is hoping you do not have to deal with them often!