Spyware and a Church Dinner
First of all, sorry for the website drama this week. A few weeks ago, a couple readers told me they thought my site might have a virus. I told Chris and he was like, “I’m sure it’s not a virus.” Then, this mysterious yellow warning bar started appearing at the top of my admin page for my blog. I told Chris and he was like, “I’m sure it’s not a virus.” And finally, two days ago, our site basically shut down. I told Chris and he was like, “I’m sure it’s not a virus.” So, he called our tech team and they looked into the problem and – guess what! It was a virus! Chris waited until I was asleep last night before whispering in my ear, “It was a virus.” I came out of a dead sleep and shouted, “I TOLD YOU SO!” I so seldom get to say that to Chris, so I seize every chance I get.
Anyway, the virus is fixed, but I did want to pass along a word of caution to all you bloggers out there. We have awesome spyware on our site that protects us from the evils of the internet, but it was actually my OLD site that was initially attacked. Because our two sites are connected, that old site was able to infect my current site. SO, word to the wise: If you have an old blog that is linked to your current one, you might want to make sure your spyware is up to date so you don’t get a computer cold.
Anyway, that was NOT what I was going to blog about today. Today I wanted to share with you my most embarrassing moment. It happened last night. It was even more embarrassing than that one time that I was six months pregnant with Bean and thought some guy was hitting on me at a bus stop (he wasn’t) and I yelled out randomly, “I’M PREGNANT!”
Yes, friends. It was worse.
Last night one of the associate ministers at my church had an appreciation dinner for the writers of the women’s newsletter of our church. As one of the writers, I was invited to attend. I really love this minister. She’s the one who met with me in the throws of my depression and taught me that it was okay to feel that way. She literally changed my life with her kind words, and I have had always held her in such high respect since then. Dinner at her house was going to be a real treat!
(This is us at our church when Gracie was baptized. Ain’t we perty?)
So, I got myself all gussied up for a Southern, summer dinner party, and then drove across town to her house. I had debated at the last minute about bringing a hostess gift for her. Did people still do that? Our church is young and social and outgoing, so I decided to throw a bottle of wine in my passenger seat and figured I could always leave it in the car if I decided against bringing a gift. When I pulled up to her house, another guest was arriving and getting out of her car, too. I waited to see if she had a hostess gift, and she was carrying a beautiful floral arrangement.
“Hmmm…flowers,” I thought. “Probably more appropriate than wine for a minister.”
But I figured, what the heck? So, I grabbed my bottle of wine and headed into the house.
When I walked in, the other women were already standing around the kitchen having drinks. There was lemonade, iced tea, and Diet Coke all set out on the table. And I swear when I walked in carrying my giant bottle of Merlot, it was like a record scratched, music stopped, and everyone stared.
“Katie has brought some wine,” the minister announced, taking the bottle. “Would anyone like a glass?”
(crickets, crickets, crickets)
“Katie? Can I pour you a glass?” she asked me.
“Oh, no, thank you,” I said, horrified. “Lemonade is fine.”
“Are you sure? Let me pour you a glass.”
“No, really. I’m okay. Lemonade is great,” I mumbled, but in my head I was screaming, “I SWEAR I’M NOT A LUSH!”
“Well, okay. But if you’d like a glass, I’m happy to open the bottle.”
“No, thank you,” I insisted. “I’m fine.”
I don’t know if a blog post can adequately describe how embarrassing this was. I mean, I showed up with booze to my minister’s house. And then I had to practically insist that I wasn’t going to drink it. Alone. Like a lush.
Thankfully, the rest of the night was really great. We talked about the newsletter and about taking it in a new direction, we got to know each other a little bit better, and our minister was a wonderful hostess. But still, I got in my car and called my sister to tell her what had happened with the wine and I literally cringed in my car with embarrassment.
The moral of this story is if you’re ever invited to dinner at your minister’s house, bring flowers. Or dessert. Or tarot cards. ANYTHING is better than bringing a bottle of wine.
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31 Comments
jennifer
My cousin works at her church, and while the minister isn’t a woman, he is an older gentleman and he regularly talks about his love of lemonchello. I probably wouldn’t have thought anything of you bringing wine to a minister’s house. After all, Jesus turned the water into wine didn’t he 😉 ?
Also, might just be the way my computer is displaying your page but the top of your post is all funky. Archives and search this site are showing up at the top blocking the first couple sentences of your post.
Sandy
hey, Jesus turned water into wine, so you were just offering her a gift from the Lord!
Sandy
sorry jennifer…didn’t mean to poach on your Jesus and wine thought =o)
i too had the problem with overlapping on the post…i refreshed and it fixed it but then bounced right back.
kat
omg this would so be me! i always bring wine, because, well you can’t go wrong (unless you’re attending an AA celebration…I would probably know that that would be an inappropriate moment to bring wine…at least I hope).
Alaina
See, I’m Irish Catholic, so that would NEVER be a problem 🙂
kelly
I recently had a similar embarrassing situation. My husband and I went to a wedding and the couple’s families are pretty conservative but there was a cash bar so he and I each had a glass of wine. Literally NO ONE else was drinking and everyone gave us these crazy stares all night like we were wearing lampshades and doing body shots. I mean it was one glass. At a wedding. And they offered it at the reception! I felt so uncomfortable though, like I was doing something wrong. And then I got bumped and spilled it! We may never be invited anywhere with these people again. Haha
Katrina
Wow! My Dad is a pastor and I know for a FACT he would love for people to bring booze. Still, I can see how that would be totally embarrassing.
Lyndsey
I really don’t think you should be embarrassed! My aunt is a minister and she drinks wine regularly. It’s not like you brought a 5th of Jager and a 6 pack of red bull 🙂
Renee
Unless you’re Lutheran. They TOTALLY want your booze, and lots of it. 🙂
The Life and Times of Me
My dad was a Baptist minister for years and they’re still staunch Baptists, but my parents have a glass of wine regularly. My husband and I are youth pastors of a conservative non-denominational church and we have a drink now and again. We don’t drink a lot, but I wouldn’t be offended if someone brought me a bottle of wine. Don’t feel bad! 🙂
Kathy Z
It’s not that what you did was embarrassing – it’s the other people’s reactions.
There’s never a reason to react in a way that creates an awkward situation for other people. The real moral of the story shouldn’t be “Don’t bring wine to a minister.” It should be a reminder that if I’m ever part of the crickets crowd where someone is embarrassed, do just sit there and look. Make a joke, break the ice, be nice. 🙂
Erin
Um, either all the other people there were boring, or they’re all liars. They totally wanted a glass of wine, they were just too embarrassed to be the first. So I say the minister dropped the ball. She should have either a) accepted graciously and put the bottle in the kitchen, or b) accepted graciously and put the open bottle on the table without further comment. Obviously, you are not episcopalian- we have kegs at church events at the church.
vdragon
I have a version of that. We were invited to a surprise birthday party for a guy we knew from the gym. We didn’t know him really well, but we did know a lot of the other people that were going to be at the party. Not only were the only ones to show up ‘on time’ which was awkward but it turns out he’d been sober for like two decades. I’d brought in a bottle of wine, so I quickly ran to the car to hide it.
Trish D
I grew up Southern Baptist and our minister probably would have had prayer for me right there for bringing a bottle of wine! I was the one that was always getting into trouble with his two daughters though..lol
A couple of years ago, a friend here in New Orleans invited us over for an authentic Mexican dinner. Her parents were visiting and her mom was making homemade tortillas..the whole bit. I couldn’t think of a gift to take her…so, I bought her an overly expensive bottle of tequila. I figured what the heck…Mexican food..there had to be margaritas!
I walked in and handed Maria the gift..she looked at it and said…”tequila”….I grinned and said..”oh yes..margaritas!”…she looked at me completely serious..NO smile..and said…”oh, there is tequila in margaritas”….I thought she was joking…I just laughed and played it off…she looked at me and said…”you do realize that my parents are here and that we’re Mormon…don’t you?”…I just smiled and apologized. I wanted to tell her that just because she was a Mormon didn’t mean she had to chastize me in front of everyone..but, I withheld.
When we were leaving…she gave me back the tequila and told me she would have prayer for me!
Kristie
Yeah, my current minister would LOVE it if we brought over beer/wine/scotch, but the one from the church I grew up in would have had a heart attack. I can see that moment being really embarrassing!
Nikki
I’m sure it was pretty awkward, but it was a great story! Congrats on being right about the virus too! Also, I have that same dress! I love it!
Amber@Classy Confessions
Ah! I am Southern Baptists so I can totally see why this would be emberassing! I mean, don’t get me wrong I love a drink every now and then but I can totally imagine exactly how you felt!
80
Yay!! I’m glad the virus deal is fixed…I think I had to stay off your site for like 3 weeks now. Couldn’t handle it anymore!!
Nancy
Okay, this has to be a southern thing because we are all about bringing wine as host/hostess gifts up here! I would’ve taken the glass!
Brittany
Psalm 104:14-15 “He makes grass grow for the cattle, and plants for man to cultivate, bringing forth food from the earth, wine gladdens the heart of man, oil to make his face shine…” Our church is a supporter of beer and wine (not in drunken excess, but let me tell you, there were 4 types of beer and 2 types of wine at our CHURCH Christmas feast and by the end of the night they were gone). I would have brought the same thing 🙂
Ashley @ According to Ashley
BAHAHAHA. As always, you have me laughing out loud in my living room! Love you and your crazy stories!
Jordan
I once went to a sporting event with a Pastor. He ended up having a few too many beers and puked on my friends shoes in the stadium. He had sobered up by the end of the game, but not much was said on the ride home…awkward!
Mandi
Was that virus connected with a video? I watched a video, I think it may have been for Beans birthday and it totally wiped out the hard drive on my laptop. Not sure if it is related but a couple weeks before I had watched something on the site and it messed up the hard drive but didn’t completely wipe it out. Interesting! I really enjoy your site. I had just decided it must be directly related to watching videos so I wasn’t going to do that anymore. Maybe I can? Feel free to email me and let me know how the virus was affecting others and if it is ok now.
Heather
My laptop also died when I watched the video with your sister. Could you talk more about the virus and what I could do to save my computer? Thankfully I have my husband’s computer to keep reading your site. The real tragedy would be if I couldn’t read about your awesome advetures. As far as the wine, church people are always uptight in packs. I’m sure when everyone left someone enjoyed your gift.
momiss
Pshaw, Katie! (Little flashback to Ma of the Little House series, there, apologies if you are too young to remember them)
Jesus turned water into wine! Plus there is the whole “everything in moderation” thing….
Do not let anyone let you feel inappropriate, ever. You will one day be old enough to know this for yourself, and I hope I’m there to hear it!
Donna
Maybe they prefer a white wine. 🙂
I say take the wine again and loosen everyone up! At our church functions there is wine and beer and sometimes a cash bar, but then again I am Catholic…
Chloe
I thought it was my computer messing up not your sight, good to know at least that it’s fixed.
Lol about the wine, you poor thing.
I go to an English Anglican church (traditional yet modern) our minister invites newbies to the pub after the evening service for a beer.
Chloe
Site* I don’t know why I wrote sight.
Cary
Katie, I don’t ever comment or comment on your FB page, and I was one of those reader who did menion it– err my husband is an IT tech nerd, and when it I kept having issues, I kind of figured “IT WAS A VIRUS.” He deals with doctor offices who are too smart for their own good who, guess what get viruses on their computers daily. Glad to you got to tell him I TOLD YOU SO! 🙂
Cary
PPS: I’m Episcopal, which means we love our wine.. which means I would so bring wine to the minister’s house!
Lori @ I Can Grow People
I grew up Catholic and in a family that owned a bar and restaurant–that was frequented by priests from our parish so…I would have brought wine–and probably beer–too. But I have to say church-going and religion in the South was very different territory for me. I had never been asked to join a church by a stranger before…in the middle of Lowe’s shopping for garbage cans. I was asked by my realtor if I went to church (and then why I didn’t) upon our first meeting. It was like the South had all of these unwritten rules about religion and Christianity that I didn’t know–I needed a handbook! It was tough to be a Yankee, Liberal, Agnostic in the South! Anyway, if anyone is going to forgive you for possibly making a social faux pas it should be your minister, right? I think you’re good, Katie. No worries!