I Should Have Stayed in Bed

This past weekend I made a bunch of plans, forgetting that Chris was scheduled in be in tech rehearsals all weekend long. Thankfully, my mom came down for the weekend, so I didn’t have to be by myself. I’m doing pretty good emotionally right now. I’m not crying a whole lot anymore, and I’m able to think about my dad without feeling incredible sadness. I think all of that is good and definitely progress, but I’m not sure I’m ready to do a whole weekend without someone around to talk to. Lucky for me, my mom’s not ready for that either. So, we just hung around this weekend together.

We took the kids to the outlet malls all day on Saturday and shopped until we all dropped. And then we ate lunch and shopped some more.


Sunday morning we decided to skip church (too emotional for me right now – I’ve been once and it was pretty tough), and instead we hung around the house with the kids. Sunday afternoon I had made dinner plans for me, Chris, and Bean while my mom stayed home with Gracie. Chris and I are in the process of making new friends. It’s such a brutal process to make adult friends. It’s so much like dating. It’s exhausting.

Bean’s best friend at school is a little girl that we’ll just call Elle. Elle and Bean are inseparable. They play together all day. Their teachers have all told us that the two of them are like little peas and carrots. And they even look alike! She is a little blonde girl who looks like a female version of Bean. It’s pretty stinking cute.

At Bean’s birthday party this summer, Chris and I met Elle’s parents for the first time and they were pretty awesome. They are about our ages, very laid back, fun, and easy to talk to. We hit it off right away with both of them. We had them over for dinner once, met out at a restaurant once, met for a couple play dates, and even signed the kids up for swimming lessons at the same time. They had invited us over for dinner a couple times in the past two months, but with my dad’s passing, our schedules went on hold and we had to cancel twice on them. I was starting to worry that we were going to lose our new friends before we even made them! So, when they invited us over for dinner, I said yes before I even asked Chris.

Turns out, Chris had to work all weekend. So, we planned that we would take two cars and he would come for about an hour and then leave early while I stayed with Bean. It was a good plan until everything starting sucking.

Chris was supposed to meet us at our house at 4:00 so that we could get to Elle’s house by 4:30. At 4:25 he still wasn’t home, so I called. He hadn’t even left work yet. I told him to stay there, and that Bean and I would just go alone. I was pissed, but we’d deal with that later. Instead, I threw Bean in the car, left Gracie with my mom, and we got to Elle’s house half an hour late.

When Elle’s mom opened the door, she kind of looked confused and said, “Where’s Chris?” I explained he was stuck at work (strike one). “Well, where’s Gracie?”

“Oh,” I said. “My mom is in town this weekend, so she’s staying with her tonight.” (strike two)

“Well, where are your swimsuits?”

(strike three)

Turns out, it was a swimming thing. I’m sure she had mentioned that to me, but the past few weeks have been a big blur, so I completely forgot. I dropped my food and left Bean there while I drove back to our house to get our bathing suits.

As I’m driving back home, I realize that I gave my mom my house key because she and Gracie were going to run some errands. So, I was locked out of my house.

I drove over to my friend Sarah’s house and got my spare house key from her and then drove back to my house, changed into my suit, packed Bean’s, and then drove the 20 minutes back to Elle’s house.

When I got there, I changed Bean into his suit and we all headed out to the pool. Elle’s mom and I told the kids (who both have passed their infant survival swimming programs, by the way…) they could play on the pool steps, but they couldn’t swim out in the pool by themselves. Two seconds later, we were standing next to the pool talking and we looked out and there were both our kids, trying to swim in the middle of the pool. They both looked panicked, but THANK GOD they both knew how to get themselves floating. Elle’s mom and I dove into the pool with our cover ups on and dragged them out.

Thankfully, the rest of the evening was uneventful and actually a lot of fun. Turns out I have a lot in common with Elle’s mom. I’m thinking our next get together should be a single date just the two of us, without husbands or kids.

Of course, that’s assuming they don’t think I’m an absolutely irresponsible, crazy, frantic woman with an uninvolved husband. Probably going to be hard to hang out again if that’s the impression I made…

Here’s hoping for a first solo date!

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12 Thoughts to “I Should Have Stayed in Bed”

  1. Isn’t making adult friends the worst? It is so delicate and awkward. Makes ya wonder how we did it as kids. I guess we all had less inhibitions then – at least I did! I will say though, having children does take the edge off. You know you already have something huge in common with a couple. And, if things get weird, they are a great excuse to get the heck out of there!

  2. Making adult friends is HARD. It is totally like dating and since I’ve been with Mac for 12 years, I’m so far out of the game it’s not even funny. Surely this couple will be understanding with all the stuff that’s been going on with you guys. And like Jenna said, having kids is a huge conversation starter. That awkward silence isn’t so long. I’m still looking for a mom friend with a child Sullivan’s age. His main “friend” in daycare is the one who keeps chomping on him so I’m not too keen on inviting him over for a playdate. Good luck!

  3. Tawny

    Making couple friends is exactly like dating. We go through it ALL the time. We are always afraid that we are coming off too strong.

  4. Amanda

    I stand by my belief that making friends as an adult is worse than high school.

  5. What a blessing that you and Chris like Elle’s parents! Now that we’re in the school groove, I’ve met some parents of Nate’s classmates who were just humdingers. Nothing worse than having your child love a kid whose parents don’t match your family’s rules for life. I’m sure Elle’s parents still want to date you guys, even if Chris didn’t make it, you forgot your swim gear, and Bean tried to solo swim in the pool. How could they not? You two are awesome!

  6. you probably have a ton of grace from everybody around you to be a little scatterbrained these days… and if you don’t, well… you should demand it. =) You’re right though, making adult friends is sometimes extremely daunting!

  7. Kat

    Aw man….sounds like a stressful day. I’m sure they totally understand and don’t mind at all but omg I would be soooo stressed out!

  8. I hear you on the making adult friends bit. At least you have a pool of children’s friends’ parents to dip into! Great icebreaker right there. Most of our friends have been uni ones and inevitably people move on so we are on the look out for some new friends. Where to look?!

  9. Andrea

    Don’t you wish you could just go up to someone and say “Hi, want to be friends?” I chatted with a woman about my age at the playground one day. We comisserated about how our kids are both small and the strangers who always tell us this, but not a big deal, etc….When I mentioned to my husband how it was a shame that I couldn’t ask her for her number, he thought I was insane (I admit, it did sound a little creepy to me, too). Probably wouldn’t have worked out anway…my (usually) sweet 2-year-old son chose that day to be a bully to her daughter on the playground!

  10. Dude, making adult friends is so hard! We finally made friends in FL only to leave them for a new place to make all new friends. We are still in the process of trying to find friends here. We have some friends who are great, but they don’t have kids so they don’t “get” the whole kid routine sometimes (finding a sitter and having to be home early-ish, etc.) And our friends with kids are infants so they are still in teething/not sleeping through the night land so they aren’t up for hanging out much yet. Our theatre friends understand our wacky schedules, but our non-theatre friends don’t–so when we say we can’t hang out because we have to work all weekend sometimes I worry that our non-theatre friends think we are blowing them off. I can’t take the stress! But I think it is really good that you are getting out with friends and doing things. I know that when I am sad the last thing I want to do is socialize, even though I should.

  11. Hilary

    I got lucky when I moved to Massachusetts from NY. Two of my good friends from high school (actually, all the way back to elementary school) also moved to Massachusetts and the three of us currently live within 25 minutes of each other. My college roommate lives in MA as well, but she’s about an hour away. In any case, I’m glad I didn’t have to make new friends; it really is nerve-wracking!

  12. Courtney M

    My husband and I are trying to get more friends too. It is so tough especially with both of us working multiple jobs (to save for a house). Good luck!

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