Chris vs. Gracie: The Dinnertime Edition
On my way home from class tonight, I thought to myself, “Hmmm… what should I blog about tonight?” And then I walked in my front door to find an epic dinnertime battle happening at our kitchen table.
Sometimes, blog fodder just presents itself.
Gracie has been AWESOME lately. She’s talking up a storm, laughing all the time, playing so great with Bean, and hardly ever having temper tantrums. These days, Gracie’s meltdowns (if they happen at all) are not necessarily falling on the floor screaming and crying, as per the first TWO YEARS of her life. Now, her little outbursts are more like stand-offs. It’s that darn stubborn streak in her. She doesn’t like to be told what to do and when, but she’s getting much better at handling that. Occasionally, though, she puts her tiny little foot down and lets her stubborn flag fly.
Like tonight.
When I came home at 8:00pm (a good half hour past her bedtime), she was sitting silently at the kitchen table with a mouthful of food. The kitchen had been cleaned up, Bean was upstairs, the dishes were done, dinner was over. But Gracie was refusing to swallow the last bite of dinner.
Why? Honestly, we have no idea. Occasionally, though, she just decides she would rather sit there with food in her mouth than finish the last bite of her dinner. Normally, when we all leave the kitchen, she gets really mad and swallows so that she isn’t separated from the rest of us (the ultimate punishment for Gracie). But tonight, she didn’t care if she was all alone in the kitchen. She just sat there. Chewing. And then not chewing. And then chewing. And then not chewing. And then chewing.
When I got home, I gave Bean a bath while Chris dealt with Gracie. We have this rule about interrupting another’s parenting situation. If Chris was dealing with this, then I would stay out of it. We don’t want the kids thinking they can try to soften one of us up. If you’re dealing with one parent, that’s the parent who you will have to work with.
Bean had a bath, brushed his teeth, got in his jammies, read a couple books with me, and then lights out.
And still Gracie sat at the kitchen table.
Chris came upstairs to poke his head in the office where I was working. “What the hell?!?!” he cried. “What kind of child did we make?!?!?” I told him to hang in there. This was how Gracie worked. She tries to wear you down. Normally, Chris is the one who gives in to her (which is probably why she was being so stubborn tonight; she thought he would give in eventually), but tonight he was standing firm.
And still Gracie sat at the kitchen table.
Chris and I got ready for bed. We cleaned up the living room, and turned off the lights.
And still Gracie sat at the kitchen table.
Chris went back downstairs to deal with Gracie directly again just a few minutes ago, and I am now writing this blog post.
And STILL Gracie is sitting at the kitchen table.
The stand-off continues…
22 Comments
Beth
you have to update this when she finally gives in! We have those Mexican standoffs here too and mine are 10 and 12.
Amy
Maybe she just didn’t want to go to bed. In which case, WIN FOR GRACIE!
Beth
Oh, please promise to tell us how it ends!
Alyssa
Oh I love this Gracie girl! I too have a little miss stubborn on my hands. She’s not to Gracie’s caliber yet, but she’ll get there I’m sure.
Claudia
You have to tell us what happened! What time is it now over there? (I’m on SoCal)
Christy
Wouldn’t it just dissolve in her mouth after awhile? Did he fix her some pork rinds for dinner?
jenny-bird
Wow, that’s epic. When I was 9 or so I use to lock myself in the bathroom when I was mad at my mom. (Weird, right?) After awhile, I would get bored. But, I stood my ground. (I have no idea what statement I was trying to make.) Eventually, I would get over myself and leave the bathroom, defeated. The point is, kids pick strange battles. Be strong!
Hilary
My hubby and I have the same agreement. Occasionally, I still have to remind him when I’m dealing with one of our kids that he can’t barge in and start yelling. I have a look that stops him in his tracks and conveys the message “Back off and let me do this.” I appreciate that he wants our kids to learn discipline, however, I agree that it just can’t be good cop/bad cop.
Margaret
That’s… Just sort of impressive. At some point you have to just have a beer and admire her willpower. And maybe be a bit frightened, haha. But seriously, you’re handling it well!
Hilda
You can sooo see it in those photos. Especially the last one!
Even if it is sometimes hard for you now don’t ever break that little girl’s willpower. She will need a lot of it in life. When my daughter was a tiny little newborn I whispered in her ear every night, you will become a strong woman. And that’s what I got 🙂
Sue C
I have one with that streak as well, but a little older. We call it stubborn. A wonderful teacher at school told me that she was determined, and that it would get her far in life. Thought that was such a nice way of looking at it. We still call it stubborn, lol.
Kristin
Ours used to hold his last bite of food too… only not as long as Gracie!
Raquel
I recently blogged about this same situation… Stubborn kids- you never know whether to punish them or be impressed!! And I’m dealing with this food face-off RIGHT now, so thank you for the laughs!
Michelle
“Gracie standoff blog, day 963: Gracie still refuses to finish that last bite of food from 2.5 years ago. We don’t even remember what it is that Chris made for dinner that night. Gracie continues to sit there, silently defiant. She has long since outgrown the clothes she is wearing and they strain on her little body; she has the appearance of a tiny Hulk, bursting at the seams. We continue to stand strong on this issue and once in a while, dust her off or brush some cobwebs off of her. Our hope is that she will finish that bite before college…”
Melissa
BEST. COMMENT. EVER.
Joanne
Agreed ^^ best comment ever!
Lisa Cater
This so reminds me of my oldest daughter – remind yourselves that this means she has a mind of her own (when she is a teenager you can remind her that YOU know that no one ever talks her into doing something that she doesn’t want to do)
Hang in there, my is now married, with a master’s degree, and a wonderful young woman, who still knows her mind!
Verity
Ugh is it always battles over food? I hate making food issues an emotional battleground just because I think it’s such a minefield. Love your parenting & always here looking for tips but the clear your plate or else philosophy always makes me very uncomfortable. Realise that’s not exactly the issue here but hope you all got to bed peacefully xx
Nancy
I was going to say the same thing. The whole “clean your plate” tactic makes me uncomfortable. If my kids are not hungry, they can leave the table but if they come back to me later and say they are hungry, their food is still on the table for them to finish. This way, they know that I’m not a short-order cook! Dinner is dinner, whether they like it or not. (We generally do not have dessert in our house, so there is no “finish your dinner, and you can have a treat” strategy here either.)
ashley
I want to know what happened! I fear the day that this happens with our 4 year old. He’s such a picky eater..at this stage, I just make him eat one bite of everything, but the day is coming that he’s going to need to eat everything and I know his stubbornness can be great…
danielle
I am trying not to laugh but since I went through it with my youngest I have trouble not laughing when others are dealing with it! My oldest is picky and will sit nibling bites that would make mice proud. I only give him a little bit too! Silly kids.
Jess Z.
I just cannot believe she is that young but that stubborn and will sit there! That is hilarious!