Driving a Bandwagon

Last week, Bean moved over to his new preschool class. It was not without some sadness and tears, let me tell you. But Chris and I did the best we could to support Bean as he transitioned. We tried to support his fears and anxieties, while still encouraging him to move forward. Mostly, though, we just prayed.

When I picked Bean up from school on Wednesday afternoon, his teacher met me at the door with a big smile.

“It was a good day,” she said warmly. “He had a really good day.”

I was so happy that my eyes welled up with tears and I hugged her right there on the spot.

That night, Bean confirmed what a good day he had.

“This class gets to go outside THREE times a day!” he said, which is a big change over the two times a day in his other class, unless it was a day when they had outside play taken away, which happened quite a bit. “And I have show and tell on Friday!” This, too, is a huge improvement. Show and tell had been taken away in the other classroom.

Bean went on to tell us about some friends he was making and how much fun he had playing with them. Seriously, I haven’t stopped smiling yet, and it’s been almost a week since this happened! I’m so glad we stayed strong through the hardest part because Bean ended up having a really great first week.


Yesterday, we had Gracie’s birthday party for all her friends from school. While we were there, the most amazing thing happened.

We have lots of families at our daycare who have one child in Bean’s class and one child in Gracie’s, so Bean had lots of his own friends come to play, too. As they played, I got to chat with some of the parents who had kids in Bean’s old preschool class. I had three different families come up to me and tell me that our moving Bean had prompted them to meet with the director of the school and ask for change in that classroom! All of those families were dealing with the same things we were facing, and I had no idea! They each said as soon as they heard Michael had been moved into a different class, they all started to take action to make changes for their families, too.

It was such validation! As parents, you really have no idea what the hell you’re doing most of the time, let’s be honest. You just sort of do what you think is best and hope it works out, I think. But hearing other families were in the same position we were and were questioning the same things that we were questioning made me feel like maybe we WERE doing the right thing. It also was such an eye-opener that other parents are trying to figure it all out, too, and that sometimes all it takes is for one parent to stand up.

I try not to jump on parenting bandwagons too often, but, let me tell you, this bandwagon feels really nice.

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7 Thoughts to “Driving a Bandwagon”

  1. It is great that you feel validated in your parenting decisions. So many times I am questioning myself. I hope that your daycare can take a look at the situation and fix the problem so that more families aren’t having to make difficult decisions.

  2. Katie

    As a daycare teacher, I feel bad for the teachers in Bean’s old class. If they have multiple children with issues in their class, they were probably struggling already, and they probably feel like they’re failing with all these parents requesting classroom changes. I hope the director will take note of all this and put in some support for those teachers so the class gets better.

    1. Katie

      The parents felt the same way. We LOVED Bean’s old teachers. They are fantastic and it is sad that this situation has put them in such a hard position.

  3. I guess he’s not in that class anymore so it’s not of your concern, but I’d be interested to know why outside play and show and tell had been taken away in the other classroom. Doesn’t seem fair. If they are having such discipline issues with some kids it seems like those kids should be handled and not the whole class punished to that extent.

  4. It sounds like the other class could have used 3 recesses…….and show and tell was taken away from all the kids?
    I know I am old but as a parent of a child who went without oxygen when he was born and has dealt with ADHD issues, I have to say that we made a huge honking mistake when we integrated all kids into classrooms. There are some children who would benefit greatly from being in a separate classroom with teachers who are trained for and have dedicated their lives to dealing with those issues. I can see no benefits for the other kids in the classrooms at all, because they are not benefiting like they should be from being in that environment. It’s hard to learn when you might be hit at any moment. I feel very sorry for the teachers, too.
    Huge, honking mistake. Why we allow it to go on I cannot fathom. I graduated in 1983 and we had remedial classes. My oldest child graduated in 2008 and he had integrated classrooms, right down to the school hiring “aides” for every integrated child that should have been in a special classroom.
    Sorry for the rant, and I still don’t know when it changed between 1983 and 2008, but it was just not a good decision in any way from what I can see, and I’ve been watching this play out for decades.
    So very glad action is being taken, and so happy for Bean.

  5. wow, you have no idea how close this hits to home – we have recently had to make the decision to move Aubrey from her daycare after a lot of struggles and issues, and it’s tough because you don’t think you’re doing the right thing….but to get that validation and see the joy in your child’s eyes? Priceless.

  6. As I was reading about outside time and show and tell being taken away I was thinking that does not sound like a very good class. Then, I read on and understood! I for sure think you make a great choice with this! Way to take action and do what is best for your kiddos! 🙂 We are pregnant with our first and there are already things that I just feel like I have no clue about…. 🙂

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