Super Secret Stress Relievers
Y’all. Can I be honest for a second? Like, no filter, no sugar coating, no bullshit?
THINGS ARE NOT. GOING. WELL. RIGHT NOW!
First, Chris and I are off. Like, way off. Like, have never been this off. And that is completely unsettling to me because he is normally my foundation and compass. So, with a broken compass right now, it’s hard for me to find what’s up and what’s down.
Second, I am not transitioning gracefully into my new job. I’m not used to working with a team. I’m not used to working with ADULTS. I’m not used to working at home. I’m not used to sales. I’m not used to the start up world. And while we are being successful despite my hellacious entrance into this new world, it has me all kinds of flustered and frustrated and out of sorts.
Third, my doctor changed my anti-anxiety medication dosage. When the shit hit the fan this summer and I just about broke in two from the stress, my blood pressure went through the roof and my insomnia was rampant. So, when I mentioned all that was going on to my doctor, she suggested doubling what has been a very low dose of Citalopram (generic of Lexapro). Sounded good to me! But, turns out, there are side effects of increasing my meds and they are none too fun. One of them is extreme fatigue or exhaustion. As if I need more of that in my life right now. Another is difficulty sleeping. So, basically, I’m stressed and incredibly tired, but can’t effing sleep. It’s like being tortured.
All of this is to say that life has been kicking my ass for a while and when that happens, I have a super secret obsession that calms me down. It is super secret because it sounds insane when I tell people about it. I know this because I had too much to drink at a dinner party one time and told the group of women I hardly knew about this particular coping mechanism and there was about 10 seconds of incredibly judgmental silence before one of them said, “That’s weird, Katie,” and the rest of them begin agreeing. I also know this obsession is weird because I have told my mom, sister, and two best friends about it and all of them have insisted I tell no one.
Which is why I feel the need to tell you all.
(I literally just had to take a deep breath before I could go on typing here…)
I watch cleaning videos.
Yes, you heard me right. Cleaning videos. Out there on the deep, world-wide web, there are vloggers who post videos of themselves cleaning their houses. That’s it. Just them cleaning their houses. Go to YouTube and search “Clean With Me.” It’s like a whole world of videos that normal people don’t know about.
AND I AM OBSESSED WITH THEM.
I don’t know what it is, but I find them so stinking soothing! I watch them in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep. I turn the volume on mute and just watch. I don’t know if it’s because they are so methodical or monotonous or what, but something about watching people cleaning their houses soothes my tired, stressed out little soul.
And now here is the real dark secret that I have revealed to NO ONE yet. NO ONE.
I’ve got Gracie watching them, too!
I KNOW!!!!!!!!!! JUDGE ME!!!!!!!!!!! IT IS SO WEIRD!!!!!!!!! I feel like I’m in some kind of addict and now I have hooked my kid. But it really wasn’t my fault. Gracie came into my room in the middle of the night last week because she had a bad dream. When she came to find me, I was awake and watching a cleaning video to try and lull myself back to sleep. Without saying a word, Gracie crawled in bed next to me, snuggled right in, and started watching the video with me. Then, the next day, she asked if she could watch another cleaning video on my phone. And that’s when I realized that I had passed this odd obsession on to my second grader.
So, there you have it. My secret is out in the open. I watch other people clean their houses to calm my nerves and help me sleep.
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Actually, that’s not my only weird obsession to help me sleep. If I’m going to put this all out there on the internets, I might as well tell you the whole sick situation. I also watch (…wait for it… wait for it…) Bob Ross painting episodes. Now, for those, I definitely listen with the sound on. His soft, soothing voice talking about happy trees and happy accidents just melts my stress away, guys. I can’t help it.
Now you know. But that’s it. That’s the only other weird stress relieve secret that I have.
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OKAY, FINE! There’s a third kind of weird video I watch to help soothe myself! I watch cookie decorating videos. No sound. Just royal icing cookie decorating. Specifically, the Hungarian lace cookie decorating. It puts me right to sleep.
And in case you, too, have a little weirdness in you, here are some links to my favorite videos:
Clean with Me with Beauty and the Beastons
After Dark Clean with Me with This Crazy Life
Bob Ross Island in the Wilderness
Easter Egg Cookies with Hungarian Folk Art Flowers
36 Comments
Christy
I watch cleaning videos too! But I do it for cleaning motivation
Robyn
My daughter watches 2 different videos to calm her self. The first is of Cake frosting, like when they pour colored liquid frosting of a cake and spin it around and Secondly of people that peel things like soap or anything soft. Think like using a knife to peel a thin slice of cheese.
Now her videos are weird lol
Claire S
Me too! It’s weirdly hypnotic but my weirdest calming video? Pantry reorganisation!! Seriously. 😂
lissa
You may already be doing this….but…some people respond best to Lexapro in the morning and others do better to take it at night. And frequently an increase in dosage can cause an increase in anxiety. It’s lousy at the time, but it’s often a good prognostic indicator that you’ll have another good response. If you’re sleepy, taking it at night might be good.
Sorry you and Chris are in separate orbits right now. You’ve had so many changes and stress in the past few months.
Love, love that Gracie is liking the cleaning videos. haha
Amy
I wonder if you experience ASMR. People get it from sounds or watching mundane tasks. Bob Ross is known to be an asmr thing before it was even a thing, lol. I’ll have to checkout the cleaning videos, I watch Bob Ross or makeup tutorials. Insomnia sucks!
Jenn
I watch…..Baywatch videos. They are corny, cheesy, and always have a happy ending.
MomQueenBee
And may I add hair arranging videos? What is the hypnotic power of braiding and curling? I don’t even have any daughters to pretend I’m watching for them. Aaaargh!
Jenn
Imaginary friends of mine on a message board are also into watching cleaning videos to calm down. You aren’t alone 😊.
Tabitha Jones
Girl! I love watching makeup videos and hair videos. I don’t even like doing makeup or hair but I find it so oddly soothing and relaxing to watch. And the Bob Ross videos?? Duh, that’s a total given. That guy’s voice is like butter.
Keep doing you, Katie! You got are not alone. 🙂
Amber
I say whatever helps you beat the stress and get some sleep do it! I don’t think its weird at all. I have a secret obsession with shows about polygamy. I just find it so fascinating. We all have our quirks.
Brooke
I love the cookie decorating videos! This is even weirder- my husband and I love to watch pimple and blackhead extraction videos.
Lisa
You are so not alone! I watch videos of people giving/getting back massages when I need to relax. It’s so soothing.
I’m also on a tiny dosage of Lexapro, but I have to take it at night (as someone above mentioned) because it makes me bone tired.
Sarah
Haha! Be kind to yourself! Life is tough sometimes, so whatever it takes to get thru it is ok. I can just imagine how therapeutic this blog was to write. Hope it brought you some laughs and peace. Take a breath, be kind to yourself and those you love. It will all be ok in time.
Jenn
Cookie and cake icing videos are soothing to me. I also like soap or wood carving videos. Something about the repetitive motion just calms me down.
Robyn
My 17 yr old does this same exact thing.
Sandy
Peapod don’t judge! ;o)
Sarah
My 10 year old daughter is obsessed with cleaning videos! And when I let her watch them it typically leads to her cleaning! So I’m calling it a win in my book!
Lori M.
You do you! I’m all about watching cookie decorating to relax and if that’s weird, so be it! 🙂 I second the recommendation to take your meds at night if they are making you sleepy.
Adrienne Chambers
Have you ever watched the soap cutting videos? I like the sounds on those for some weird reason.
HeatherM
I’ve been loving cake decorating videos ever since you posted about using them as a coping skill ages ago. So thanks for that!
I also like watching episodes of ‘Motion’ on ABC’s live we’ll network. Sooo soothing and inspiring.
About the kids- you are so stressed about so many things now- why not put them in after care? Or see if a friend can babysit them after school each day? Maybe just try it for a month, and see if it helps your stress and anxiety? And then when you are less stressed and anxious, you will be in a better place to give your family really undivided attention, which they all want and need.
About the marriage piece, I feel like marriage has seasons just like life does. My husband and I went through a really dark winter of a season in our marriage right after my husband started a new job as a tenure line professor. He felt so much pressure to prove himself in new ways that he never stopped working/talking about work/obsessing over work. He never really let go, and his blood pressure went up, he had tremendous anxiety, and our marriage paid the price of not getting the attention it needed too. Add to that the pain of losing a close grandparent that year and two bad car accidents that left him in pain for months, and he was a cranky exhausted workaholic. And we all paid the price. I wasn’t completely innocent of course- I gave him a hard time for his attitude sometimes, and told him things he didn’t want to he’s other times.
What finally got us out of it was when I had life threatening pregnancy and child birth complications. I was in the hospital for ten days with my organs shutting down, he watched me hemorrhage when the medications weren’t working, etc. That gave him PERSPECTIVE. He had to take a lot of time off work after that to care for me and the baby once we got home. We went from him obsessively talking about work all.the.time to him completely dropping work for months and actively physically caring for me and the baby. A complete 180. After that he went back to work, but carved out hours of the day where he was 100% “on” for family time. The other new professors all tell him “I don’t know how you do all this work AND manage a family,” and he tells them that truly unplugging from work makes him more effective.
Hopefully you will find your new balance again soon, and hopefully help you guys heal and get to spring or summer again in your marriage too.
Randall
Oh girl, you have to explore ASMR videos. Extremely relaxing and calming (and definitely in the category of weird stuff on the internet!). Start with GentleWhispering or WhisperRed in YouTube.
Amber
OK, while we’re talking about weird video obsessions, have you tried watching ASMR videos? There are tons of them on youtube. Some are creepy, but most of them are so soothing. If I have trouble sleeping, I put my headphones on with an ASMR video, and I’m OUT!
Lee Ann
LOL! No wonder you had Instagram stories of your children fighting over mopping the kitchen floor. My stress reliever … those dang infomercials with the cooking implements …the sandwich maker,, etc. Yes, those.
We are all wierd, Katie! Don’t feel bad! Do whatever you need!
Danielle
Hahaha …you watch cleaning videos, I watch “grocery shop with me” videos! Seriously, a good grocery haul video can really help calm my nerves. We all have our weirdness! No judgement here. Also I feel you about the citalopram …I had the worst, worst, worst side affects on a high dosage, I couldn’t sleep and I was MORE anxious, so I switched. Hopefully, it calms down for you soon!
Laura Bridges
I didn’t know there were videos of these things! I’m not much of a video person, though. Have you tried yoga? Not yoga for exercise, but more of a calming technique. Works wonderfully for me.
Change is hard, just keep giving yourself and your people some extra grace.
Lopamudra
No judgement, i have struggled with anxiety disorder for some time and I know how hellish dosage change can be. One suggestion, in case you haven’t tried it already- you might try Mindfulness. It was increadably helpful for me even though I know different things work for different people. Headspace and Insight timer and Calm these 3 apps I found very useful in handling anxiety.
Amber K
So, am I the only one reading comments to find new videos to watch? Yes? Oh, okay. Just kidding. Sort of. Okay, not really.
Stephanie M
Not weird!!
Also, you might try adding magnesium to your mess, taken at night. It’s easiest absorbed through your skin, so you can try epsom salt (magnesium sulfate) baths, or they sell oil you can rub in. But even the pill form can help with insomnia and anxiety! I discovered this when I started getting exercise induced restless legs, and asked my doctor what I could do. I’m on Lexapro too, and when I increased mine at the same time that I started forcing myself to exercise…apparently a Lexapro side effect is RLS, and exercise can make it worse!! Magnesium seems to help with a lot of things, though.
Jamie Weitl
I’m totally trying this! It may be different, but if it works 🙌🏻
Katie N
Love this! I had no idea about any of these videos, but I have a feeling I’m about to embark on some serious deep-diving! (But I am going to steer very clear of the cookie & cake decorating videos, because the last thing I need is MORE sugar cravings!)
Also, if you’re into woo-woo stuff, put a dab of lavendar essential oil on the bottom of each foot before you hop in to bed. It is naturally calming, and is single-handidly what got me through pregnancy insomnia! I slept SO much better on the nights that I used lavender.
suburbanmom2
I watch the Real Housewives of “Anywhere”, lol. Complete mindless entertainment, takes my mind off of my worries and I fall asleep, usually in about 20-30 minutes.
Carolina Charm
This may be my favorite post of yours ever.
Allison
You’re not alone, I’ve watched the cleaning videos too 😂. Sometimes I’m like, “what did I just spend my time on?”
Have you tried ASMR? You might like those videos…I’ve liked Gentlewhispering and PsycheTruth.
Jessica Lopretto
You’re not alone! I watch area rug cleaning videos and pressure washing videos.
Lauren
I LOVE cleaning videos. So weird! My house is NOT clean. Lol!
ShellB.
You have me totally addicted to these cleaning videos. I didn’t even know it was a thing, but now that’s my “go to” to watch. My husband thinks it’s insane (especially since my house isn’t anywhere near as clean as these people’s houses).