Maternity Clothes and Scary People

My pants are fitting a little snug.   You couldn’t tell from looking at me, but I’m getting a little tummy.   Its not big enough to warrant maternity clothes yet, but when I am sitting down at my desk all day, I definitely notice my pants cutting off circulation in my belly.   After reading somewhere that tight clothing can contribute to nausea, I decided last night it was time to venture out into the great world of maternity clothes in search of… The Belly Band.

The Belly Band is this elastic band that goes around your waist, like a big wide belt.   You use it so that you can leave your pants unbuttoned when you start to get too big for them.   They basically hold your pants up.   If I had known these existed, I would have bought one years ago for Thanksgiving meals.   Think how much more you could eat if you had something that let you unbutton your pants AND hold them up at the same time!

The only place I could get the Belly Band immediately (as opposed to ordering it online) was at Motherhood, a maternity store.   I have two words to describe Motherhood (the store, not the act of being a mother…)

Cree. py.

I was already hesitant to go in because I’m not showing and I would probably look stupid walking around a maternity store.   I walk in and the sales girl goes insane.   Insane, I tell you.   Once she finds out that I’m the “Mommy-to-Be” (as she kept calling me), she went crazy.   She was cooing and petting my stomach and throwing baby things at me like butt cream and bottles.   And then she pulled out a breast pump.

Whoa there, Crazy Lady.   Put the breast pump down and back away from the Pee-Pee Tee-Pees.

What is it with people and babies?   They go nuts for them!   Absolutely nuts.   They make complete strangers think they are your best friend.   They make tough, grown men turn into piles of goo.   They make middle-aged women turn into 25-year-old giggling girls.   I’m completely baffled.   I’ve sort of stopped telling people I’m pregnant because the reactions I was getting were freaking me out!

I feel like one of those people on the Antique Roadshow who just found out that the jewlry box I’ve been using to hold up my wobbly kitchen table is actually a one-of-a-kind famous world treasure.   People all around me are freaking out, but to me its still just my table holder upper.   Chill out, people.

This doesn’t mean that I’m devoid of all emotions.   That I’m not incredibly excited and happy about my baby and being a mom.   I just need some time to think about whats happening inside me.   To process it and take it all in.   Screeching and jumping around will have to wait for a bit.

For now, lets celebrate the real joys in life – like the fact that this week, my Bean lost his tail and grew flippers.   Now THAT is something to jump around about!   Yay for babies with no tails!