The First Day of Care
Yesterday was the Bean’s first day of daycare. I don’t go back to work until Monday, but we figured that it was probably an easier transition for all involved if we started with two half days this week.
And by “all involved,” I mean me.
I got Beanie up and dressed and ready to go and then I attempted to tackle his diaper bag. I had no idea what to bring! I wanted him to be comfortable and with some familiar things, but I also didn’t want to show up and unload a rental truck. At least not on the first day. I ended up packing two extra changes of clothes, a couple extra bibs, some burp clothes, a butt-load of diapers, extra binkies, two bottles, his favorite blanket, and his favorite toy.
At our daycare, we can decorate the Bean’s crib, so I brought a crib sheet and this music toy that clips to the side of his crib that he loves. His Nana sent Beanie a very special mobile to go in his daycare crib, but it is enormous and I just couldn’t wrangle that on the first day. I’ll probably bring that on Monday.
Knowing Beanie had things that were familiar to him made me feel better already. Actually, I was feeling pretty darn good. This would be great for me and Beanie. Give us time apart so that we enjoyed each other more when we were together. Like long distance dating.
I got to the daycare around 10:00 and brought Beanie in to meet his teachers, who were super nice people. They showed me Beanie’s crib and let me fix it up just how I wanted it. They had a little cubbie with Beanie’s name on it (Don’t worry, Grandma – it said “Michael” and not “The Bean”). They helped me unpack his diaper bag and they showed me around the classroom.
And when we ran out of excuses for me to be there, they helped me grab a Boppy and get Beanie all set up playing on the floor with a couple other babies. Looking at him next to those other kids though got me all nervous. He was so little! He’s the youngest in his class by a couple months and the other kids looked enormous! What if they took his toys? What if they shoved him down? What if they stole his lunch money? Thankfully, Chris pointed out when I got home that none of these babies can really move on their own yet so Beanie was probably not in harms way… Yet. But I have my eye on those toddlers. Don’t think I don’t.
So, after about half an hour of stalling, I decided it was time for me to go. And that’s when the teachers asked me what Beanie’s disposition was like – was he happy? fussy? did he cry a lot? And when I said, “He hardly ever cries. He’s a…really….good…..boy.” That’s when I got a little choked up. I didn’t break down sobbing and begging Beanie not to leave me, like I expected to do. It was just a little knot in my throat that made it hard to talk. The teachers told me it was okay. Lots of moms cried, but that it was really a great decision to start him so young in daycare because it was less traumatic for him…yadda, yadda, yadda. Whatever.
I wiped my eyes, kissed Beanie, and somehow made it out to my car where I had a little emotional time out. I cried a little. Okay, I cried a lot. But I told myself that lots of families go through this and that it was okay to be sad because I knew this was for the best.
And then I ran back inside, grabbed Beanie, and I’m writing you now from Mexico.
Just kidding. I cried all the way to Target where I retail therapied myself for a couple hours and ended up with a lovely white duvet cover and an autumn tablecloth with linen napkins. Did I have a need for linen napkins? Of course not. But the brown, gold, and orange paisley did make me feel better. And I don’t care what Oprah says, there ain’t nothin’ wrong with a little retail therapy.
I was supposed to leave Beanie at daycare until 3:00 PM. I made it until 2:00. I consider that a victory.
When I picked him up, his little reaction at seeing me made my whole day better. He looked at me like he recognized me but couldn’t quite place me. I could almost hear him thinking, “You look so familiar to me, lady. Have we met?” And then about 3 seconds later, the little light bulb went off over his head and his face lit up and he started laughing.
“Oh yeah! You’re my MOM!”
His teachers said he did a great job. He only cried once and it was for a split second when they put him down in his crib, but they thought it might have been because the little boy in the crib next to him was standing up and staring over into his crib and they thought that it scared him a little. So they moved the little boy and Beanie fell right asleep.
When we got home yesterday, he was in the best mood, too. He played with me for about an hour, then fell asleep until Chris got home, and then we all played out in the Man Cave for a while together because Chris said since Beanie is in big boy school, he can come out to the Man Cave now.
This morning we are going back for the Bean’s second half day and then on Monday he’ll go for his first full-time day. I’m not saying that it isn’t going to break my heart again today when I drop him off. It’ll probably break my heart every single day from here on out. But I can live with a broken heart for a little while if I know that Beanie is safe and happy.
I have to say that I am quite proud of myself. Damn proud of myself. Really freaking proud of myself. I birthed a child. I chose his daycare. And I was enough of a big girl to let go yesterday and trust my decision. I guess I better get used to this whole growing-up-and-flying-away thing, right? I hear that’s sort of a reoccurring theme with kids.
I just hope Beanie can still fly with me attached to his leg screaming, “DON’T GO, BEANIE! DON’T GO!”
17 Comments
Lori @ I Can Grow People
Good job, Mom!
I can’t imagine putting my baby right into daycare so close to going back to work. I am happy that I had a transitional 6 weeks while P was home with Aaron while I went back to my job full time. If I had to do daycare and back to work at the same time I am sure that I would have had a nervous breakdown!
Your choice of daycare sounds pretty awesome! I am so happy that you love it!
Jordan
I’ve been wondering- do you call him Beanie to his face and when you and Chris are talking about him, or has that just become his blog name? He looks more like a Bean to me than a Michael 😉
Catherine
Congrats!!
Casey
Nicely done – you SHOULD be proud of yourself!!
Katie's Grandma
Way to go, MICHAEL! You’re a BIG BOY now.
Day Care and the Man Cave – what a day!
Marissa
It really does get easier. I too had to chose daycare and leave my little man and I cried everyday for a good week, it stung less and less each day. My daycare was awesome though, they knew I was struggling and would email me pictures of him during feedings, nap and play time. Those pictures made all the difference! Hang in there!
Hilary
Great job, Katie! You should be proud, very proud, in fact of all you’ve accomplished so far! My daughter goes to daycare and she LOVES it. When we have baby #2 next March, he or she will start daycare with big sis at 8 weeks old as well. It is soooo much better to start them young as Bean’s teachers said. Plus, it will be great prep for preschool and kindergarten. And finally, let’s be real. If you were a kid, would you rather spend the day with your mom or playing with your friends? We’d love to believe that our kids would prefer us, but the truth is kids love other kids. Whenever my daughter sees other kids playing on the playground or at the mall, she takes off faster than a road runner. Kinda wish she wouldn’t make it that obvious, but oh well . . .
Eighmey
The first day of daycare is always the toughest. But your idea of taking him a little earlier than the day you go back to work is awesome! I am so glad you were able to make it to 2pm and that you really like the caregivers. That is what always put me at ease, when the caregivers would light up seeing my son come through the door. Now he basically gives me the peace out symbol when I drop him off, and gets super excited when I come to pick him up. Good luck, and I promise it gets so much easier!
Carole-Anne
Peanut’s first day of daycare was this past Monday. I shed a tear (maybe two), but I know he’s in the right place with the right people loving on & caring for him. And you know what… Tuesday morning he was all smiles and giggles as I put him in his car seat. Peanut knew where we were going and he was excited about going there! That makes it easier on me.
It gets easier, I promise.
PS… FYI, we both had the same due date! I read that in an earlier post but forgot to mention it to you.
Nona
I am so proud of the 2 of you!! I know how hard it was and your right it may not get better for awhile but it will get to feel normal. Just remember that many childcare providers love holding infants!! I did, I was one for 10 years. Now next week try to think of work at work it will be hard but you can do it mommy!!
Casey
Congrats on getting through the first day! It gets better, picking them up at the end of the day and them being so happy to see you makes it worth it. I almost miss daycare.
Laura
I got a little choked up reading this entry! I don’t have kids but I feel like if I did, I would be feeling the exact same way as you are. The bean is going to great!
Jessica
You did better than I’d do…that’s for certain. I’d end up locking him in his room…and tell him he is only allowed out if “daycare” and “take me” do not accidently pop out of his little mouth in the same sentence.
Heather
You are doing wonderful – hang in there! It gets easier!
Christina
I love this. I am having a super hard time putting my TWO year old in a two-day-a-week co-op program for the first time. (It’s true, I have major issues, and I’ve never really left her even in the church nursery because I’m a germaphobe. A major league germaphobe.) And in spite of my own inability to drop my daughter off with someone else, that care giver was right when she told you you’re making it easier in the long run. I am not looking forward to the screaming and crying as I leave her that first day. And there will be screaming and crying. And she’ll be upset, too. Seriously, I am afraid. Reading about your experience helps, though. 🙂 I’m glad he has such good folks taking care of him, wherever he is. He really does always look so happy.
Sarah
LOVED this post! It brought back so many memories of me leaving my daughter at daycare for the first time. And just this week I walked her to the first day of first grade — don’t listen to what the people above me said, it doesn’t get any easier!
Kelsi
You made a good decision when you started daycare a few days early. It makes the first day back easier. I have a to do a new “first day at daycare” each year because I’m off during the summer. I’m not looking forward to next Monday 🙁