A Letter to My Sweetheart Regarding Valentine’s Day
Dearest Sweet Pookey Bear Love Muffin Baby Waby Lovey Dovey Christopher,
I don’t want to alarm you, Sweetheart, but Valentine’s Day is just a couple weeks away. This year, I don’t want anything. No diamond or box of chocolates or flowers could ever come close to the happiness that your love brings to my life. My only wish, Puppy, is to spend an evening at home with you and our lovechild, Bean Man. I want to spend a night basking in the abyss of Bean’s baby blue eyes, as we reflect upon the power of our love to produce such a wonderful child. That’s all I need, Lover. Just to be with you.
My heart beats for you alone, Precious Man.
~ Your Wife
P.S. But, you’re really gonna need to get me somethin’ good this year cause I popped a giant baby out of me. And also cause you still owe me for that one Valentine’s Day when you gave me a set of Tupperware. Something shiny and sparkly of the diamond variety should do the trick. And I’d like some flowers. Preferably delivered to my office so that everyone knows how awesome I am. And the card should be thoughtful and witty, but I’ve already given you suggestions for that. And I want a babysitter. And a six-course meal at a restaurant of my choosing. With reservations. And you must wear a tie. I’d also like a Valentine’s Day card this year. Maybe with a poem you’ve written me inside, even though you hate poetry. Or you could perhaps sing me a song you’ve written about me, even though you don’t play any instruments. Except the guitar, which you have been known to believe you can play when you’ve had one too many beers. On second thought, better just stick with a card. Let Hallmark do the writing.
24 Comments
Rebekah
Oh my goodness I laughed hysterically at the “but”. You are too funny. Hope you get what you want!
Dandy
One year B gave me a knife. A knife for opening boxes. He gave it to me in March. And I found out later that he used it often before he re-gifted it to me.
I might have to forward this letter to him. You know, minus the whole love child thing.
Amy
Yes! Yes! How fantastic. I may write one of my own letters to the darling husband
Ash
Hey, just in case you and your hubs haven’t seen yet, PW mentioned you on her post about the Bloggies…
Larry
Brother Chris,
Might I make some suggestions of what NOT to gift this Valentine’s Day:
A coupon book of oil changes…one coupon per year of marriage.
A blender.
A membership to 24 Hour Fitness.
A new cookbook.
A box of diapers.
A 2 year subscription to TV Guide.
A new fishing lure.
A week-long visit from your mother… paid for by you.
A Victoria’s Secret fashion show DVD.
Just a few of the things NOT to give to show your love. I would suggest, however, that you make a reservation at the restaurant where you had your first date. Ask them for strawberries dipped in chocolate and a bottle of champagne to be served after your meal along with a bouquet of roses. Listen when she speaks. Hear what she doesn’t say. Look deeply in her eyes, and tell her you are the luckiest man in the world. Laugh. Smile often, you both have wonderful smiles. Be fully present in the evening. Have fun and enjoy the wife of your youth. Love her and let her know it.
Have fun… together!
The Lumberjack's Wife
Ooooh . . . I hope you get something fantabulous!
Ella
I Hope you get something gorgeous!
Sabrina
You go, Katie! 🙂 Surely it’s always better to just give clear directions – I think the kind request for flowers last year (and Chris following up on it!) showed just that, right?
I hope you guys will have a terrific V-Day, with tie or without it …er, I meant with formal dinner or not
Casey
Someone posted this above, but it was so nice to see you mentioned on P-Dub’s blog today! WOOHOO for BFFs!!
Jennifer
I saw you on Ree’s site, and being a young wife myself i decided to check you out. You crack me up. Today my husband emailed me at work to ask about Valentine’s Day. My first thought? It’s still January why are you concerned yet? Sometimes i feel like i’m the guy in our relationship 🙂
Leora
I absolutely love reading your blog posts. It makes me realize that all women go through the same things with their men, and I’m not alone!! haha. Keep posting- I love reading it!!
Tara
That is great! I need to send it to my hubby, too. This is our first Valentine’s Day as a married couple, so I want to make it special. 🙂
EmilyC
LOL! Love the “P.S”…can’t wait to hear about what you really get! 🙂
Anna
Congratulations on The Pioneer Woman giving you a shout out on her blog!! Maybe next is the Valentine’s Day invite!! 🙂
Meg
This post is awesome! Last year, my husband got me a card that on the outside pictured a cartoon man in boxers and said, “Do you have your ticket, baby?” When you opened the card up, it read, “Because the Love Train is about to pull out… ohhh yeah! Happy Valentine’s Day from you sexy hubby.”
No gift… just that card. Be careful in suggesting Hallmark can do the writing. They can lead men astray from good Valentine’s Day ideas, too. :-)!
Mindee@ourfrontdoor
If I were to give instructions that explicit, Rich would refuse to follow them because “following directions is not romantic.”
So he’ll do something all wrong on his own. I can’t win.
Katie
That is exactly what Chris says. They get pissed when you play games and they get pissed when you talk straight to them. I can’t win.
Which should earn me more flowers for my anguish, Chris…
Mrs. D
Such a cute post! I hope you get something fun and lovely!
Haley
I hope you have a great V-day no matter what you end up doing. I’ve also found that writing a letter on my blog to my hubby (for all the world to see and witness) is a great way to get what you want. That’s how I got my kitchen aid mixer.
In this comment I’ve included my V-day from last year. http://natekisseshaley.blogspot.com/2009/02/great-valentines-disaster-of-09.html
May you not suffer the same fate….
PS: Congrats on PW mentioning you on her blog. I’m so jealous, if she invites you to visit and Chris gets on you bad side, will you consider me as a back-up if you end up leaving him at home?
Thanks
Chloe
I want that too!!!
Cards, diamonds, flowers… Oooh, that’s REAL love!
Melissa
Okay, so I was just introduced to your blog through the blog of the year voting and I was immediately excited to find a blog about a young married couple. Then, I read this post and couldn’t stop laughing because I can completely relate. You are hilarious. By the way, my husband is a UCF grad so it was nice to see your hubby went there too. I am from their rival USF. 🙂
Ashley
I wonder if boyfriends would listen to a letter or even read it for that matter? Probably not….
Angie
I took this blog as a sign to tell my husband exactly what I want for Valentines day! Only time will tell if he was listening . . lol. Thanks for you fun blogs!
Sandi Shealy
OMG…I loved this! Your “BFF” Pioneer Woman is one of my favorite websites. I am hooked…saw yours on hers and decided to check it out. Too cute! Although I am MUCH older than you…it seems like yesterday my 23 year old son was a baby. I remember every little detail. But the Valentines Day thing…made me put you on my favorites list! That is soooo me…I tell my husband “Dont spend a lot…really”…but he better! And oh yea, the work thing is awesome, just to let everyone know! Oh well..you have a new fan now! Keep up the great work!