True Confessions of a Stay at Home Mom
As you all know, our living situation right now is kind of funked up. We moved from Connecticut to Florida about two months ago to be closer to family. When we were still in Connecticut, Chris was hired as the production manager of a local theater here, but because we weren’t sure we could sell our house in time, he pushed the starting date on his contract back to May 17. When we sold our house in 7 days, that left us with only one option: we would move to Florida a few months ahead of schedule and float for about 3 months without an income until Chris started at his new job or until I found a job.
That whole predicament has left Chris and I home together with Bean for the past two months and for the next month. Its been kind of strange to be home for such a large chunk of time together. Chris and I are on-the-go people. Both of us like to be busy and doing something, so having all this down time in a tiny rental house together has been a lot of fun, if not challenging at some points.
But yesterday, a theatrical design company in Orlando called Chris and asked him to consult on a major project they had been hired to build. They wanted some kind of complex automation thing built and they paid Chris to design and budget the machine. With Chris working out of the house for the day, that left Little Man and me at home by ourselves for the first time in several months.
Following are several things I learned about myself and my current living situation with my husband out of the house:
1. I am way more productive when Chris isn’t around.
2. I don’t know where we keep the outdoor trash cans in this house.
3. We keep our sheets way too high in our linen closet.
4. Sometimes, I pretend I don’t smell Bean’s dirty diaper so that I don’t have to be the one to change him. This, of course, doesn’t work so well when I’m the only one in the house.
5. Bean does not like the vacuum cleaner.
6. Neither do the dogs.
7. If given the choice, I would rather have Cocoa Puffs for lunch than a turkey sandwich.
8. 10-month-old babies are super fast crawlers.
9. I haven’t cooked dinner in so long that I forgot how to make instant rice and I burnt the baked carrots.
10. For some reason, we generate an uncommonly large number of dishes for a three-person family.
Yep, the absence of Chris yesterday was quite an eye-opener for me. When there are only three of you in the house, when one goes missing that’s 1/3 of your population. That’s pretty noticeable. And it makes me a little nervous for when he goes back to work full-time in a couple weeks. Then it’ll just be me.
Me and The Bean.
All day.
Every day.
Alone.
Truth be told, I’m scared of my child. I’m scared that he’ll get bored with me. That I won’t remember to change his diaper and he’ll get diaper rash. That I’ll leave the backdoor open and he’ll wander outside and get attacked by a giant snake. Or Big Molly. That I’ll watch too many talk shows with him in the room and his first words will be “oh no, he di’n’t.”
For eight hours a day, five days a week I will become Bean’s sole provider. And that scares the curl right outta my hair.
I’ll tell you something, this has really lit a fire under me to find a job. Sadly, the job market here is pretty limited in my field right now. So, until I land something, its all about Bean Man during the day and writing at night. And occasionally a bowl of Cocoa Puffs thrown in there somewhere.
So, if you need me, I’ll be sitting in the bathroom with Bean, playing with inflatable ducks and pretending to clean something. Feel free to interrupt.
23 Comments
Holly
It is a huge adjustment to be alone with a baby in the house with no other adults around. I am the same exact way with getting so much more done while my husband isn’t home. On the weekends our house becomes a huge mess and on Monday I’m standing in the kitchen going ohhhh nooo. My savior has been a moms group. I joined one in my area and we get out of the house to meet other moms at the park or for home play dates. I found it on meetup.com.. maybe you will want to look for one? I had this image of moms groups being old ladies haha but it’s really filled with moms in their 20s and 30s. We can talk about poop diapers and milestones and find it interesting. Good luck!
Julie
Oh, Katie…I feel your pain. After 4 years of being a mom that worked full time, I was laid off. As of February, I have been a SAHM. Don’t get me wrong…I’ve always wanted to SAH. But it’s just so “different” when you’re not used to it! I did, however, manage to start my own blog to help me stay busy 🙂 And my husband has a crazy schedule now too…sometimes he’s here, like, all the time. Sometimes he’s gone for 2-3 days. Ack! Both make me crazy…makes me miss the good ol’ days of normal working hours (for him…I’m fine with the SAHing!)
Lori @ I Can Grow People
I feel you, Katie. I stayed home with Porter for 2 days a few weeks ago when daycare was closed. One day was glorious–it was like the dream. Porter was happy, I was happy–we played, we ate, we napped–glorious. The next day was Porter totally wearing his cranky pants, which in turn, made me cranky too. It is hard, hard work. And I am bad about getting housework done while watching P-Bo at the same time. I can’t find a balance.
I wish you luck during this transitional phase. I am sure that things will work out and eventually become routine. And congrats to Chris on the consulting gig!
Carla
Get out of the house! Go to the library, find a play group, park, whatever. Find mommies like you – I bet a lot of them gave up careers to stay at home and are facing the same kind of struggles. I’ll be home for 10 months next year when I have my 2nd child – I’ve already started thinking about how to not be cooped up all winter in the house with 2 babies!
deepa
As much as people think it’s a luxury to be a SAHM, I can atest that is is MUCH more stressful and draining than working outside the home. When I went back to work after maternity leave, I missed my son like crazy, but it was also the first time I had some time to myself in months. The few days I do stay home with him are exhausting. Honestly, I don’t know how SAHMs do it.
I was actually reading a mom listserv post about this yesterday – the advice was to get a schedule and stick to it – outings and playdates in the mornings, afternoon quiet time for you both, etc. You also have the advantage of being in sunny, warm FL! Grab that sunblock and hit the playground/park/beach!
While I am a bit jealous that you are staying home with your son while I type this at work, you get major kudos for stepping up to the plate. You will be awesome.
jackie
Katie,
Thank you for my morning dose of birth control.
Just Kidding!!! Good Luck.
Jackie
Leslie
I think all women are more productive when the hubby is gone. Personally i find it’s because i want him to be working just as hard and when he doesn’t I loose motivation. As for the dishes, well you can always stock of on paper plates if you need a break. Also, don’t worry about the snakes. I doubt you will find one big enough to eat your son whole, and hospitals can fix anything else that happens. Hospitals are cool like that. My friends little girl was bit by a snake on Wednesday and she is just fine.
Jen
I asked my BF’s daughter, a 3 yr old, “what’s your doctor’s name” she quickly replied “Dr. Phil”.
Jen
I asked my BF’s daughter, a 3 yr old, “what’s your doctor’s name” she quickly replied “Dr. Phil”. So you might want to steer clear of those talk shows.
Ashley
Haha absolutely hilarious!!!!
Ann
First time commenter here – I really enjoy your blog!
I just want to echo what other have said. Being home is the hardest job you’ll ever have, but also the best. My best advice is to GET OUT of the house! He’ll be happier, and you’ll be happier. Have a destination every day. Some days it might be Target/grocery store/etc. Other days it might be a play group, or the library for storytime, or the beach, or a park, or a drive to Grandma’s. Go out every morning.
But also enjoy quiet time each afternoon. Give yourself an hour (or more) to rest while he is napping. It will help!
Have fun and Good luck!
Sara
Hi Katie! I found your blog a couple of months ago and have been reading through the archives. I’m finally caught up and now I don’t know what to do with myself! Anyway, just wanted to say hi and thanks for an awesome blog–I’ve really enjoyed reading it and look forward to following you!
Mom of one
I went from working out of the house to working in home, and now i keep my 2-year old at home with me.. It was a huge adjustment for me to go from being alone all day(she was at daycare) to now having to work and watch my child. The key to my sanity has been a SCHEDULE! its completely flexible, but follows a basic structure… Wake up around 8-830 she watches PBS until 10am, while I work. 10am TV goes off, music goes on, and we play or we go do something; park, storytime, grocery store, errands, whatever needs to be done. One day a week we do something special; beach, museum, bounce place.. etc. Then we come home have lunch. Then nap! This is when i get my stuff done for work, or around the house. She wakes up and then Dad is home to rescue me!
Like i said, set a schedule that works for you, be open to change, but stick to somewhat of a schedule. It will help him and you know what to expect daily.
I also suggest finding things to do out of the house. or you will go crazy!
Diana
Yep…what everyone else said, get out of the house! Libraries often have toddler storytimes, the park, children’s museums (many have sections specifically for toddlers), now that summer is almost here, swimming pools and the beach. It always feels good to get some fresh air…go for walks and take Bean to the park and wear him out so he’ll take a good nap :-)! You’ll feel better and the day won’t seem so long.
Syd
I’m not a SAHM, but I’ve worked from home for a long time and I only have one suggestion, try audiobooks instead of TV. It’s better for the brain, while being equally entertaining for you and the Bean.
I think the suggestion to get out of the house is a really good one and one I plan on taking after my baby is born.
Kourtney
Hang in there! At least you can take comfort in the fact that Bean isn’t in a strange daycare where you don’t know the people and the environment he’ll be exposed to!
I love your blog – and I’m not exagerating when I say it is one of my favorite sites, right up there with Pioneer Woman 🙂
Deanna
I made the transition from working mom to at-home mom over a year ago and while I was so thankful to end the torment of being torn between work and home, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. My little girl loves adventures and gets bored so easily at home. The best thing I ever did was join a local moms group. Playdates and park dates and moms-nights-out are my salvation.
Laura
Look on the bright side:
“that scares the curl right outta my hair”
You’ve been complaining about the frizz-inducing humidity and it seems you found the solution! Now if only I could find something equally scary perhaps I could solve my own frizzy situation.
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Megan (Best of Fates)
I love when there’s a whole group of people pretending to not notice a problem so they don’t have to be the one to take care of it. Nothing initiates actions more than a baby’s dirty diaper.
Though does the Bean even count as a baby anymore? I’m not sure of the line for babyhood – but if he’s outgrown a swing, maybe that’s the line.
It’s similar to the line of adulthood – I’ve grown too large to wear clothes from the teen section, but still don’t know how to properly parallel park.
Alaina
I love reading your blog. It speaks the truth….as a stay at home mom myself, I know. I have officially become a follower of yours and I posted a link on my blog to yours. I deleted my old blog and started a new one if you want to check it out 🙂
My Blog: http://reflectionsofanavywife.blogspot.com/
holly your biggest fan (but not fattest)
i love this post. you rock.
Megan
Ohhh the hard it is being a SAHM. It is mentally, emotionally, and YES…physically exhausting. And I would have NEVER in a million years believed that it would be this hard. No one could have ever convinced me of it.
I think you and I are somewhat alike and both need social interaction with people. So my words of advice are this…try to get out and do something…anything really…at least once a day. Sometimes you think to yourself…oh it’s just easier to stay home. But don’t. It wears on you more than you know. Luckily you are close to family and friends and can at least go visit them. DO IT…no matter how much you think it’s not a big deal to get out.
GOOD LUCK!
🙂
Megan
http://reddirtandcrazy.blogspot.com/