The Lone Bean
This past weekend we went to a Gymboree birthday party for our tiny, little friend who turned one.
The birthday girl wore tights and a tutu. Could my hormones surge a LITTLE more? I think not.
We had never been to Gymboree before and so I was pretty excited. I made Chris come along with us, but he was slightly less excited about his first Gymboree experience. Party pooper.
It was fun though. There was a nice woman there who led the activities by singing loud, slightly obnoxious songs…
There were group activities and events, like riding this bouncing, imaginary school bus…
There were things to climb on…
There were lots of other kids to play with…
And yet, Bean had this expression on his face pretty much the whole time…
He would look up at Chris and me as if to say, “Can’t we just go home and watch football?”
For whatever reason, Bean was just not feeling the friendly that day. If the group of kids went this way, he went that way.
Which meant that I spent most of my afternoon chasing him down and trying to bring him back over to circle time.
But Bean seemed pretty content to just hang by himself. More balls for him if all the other kids were singing in a circle somewhere, I guess.
At first, I was really concerned. Why didn’t he want to play with the other kids? Was I not socializing him enough? Were we raising a snob? Had we done something wrong?
But then I’d see how happy he was just hanging by himself. Just taking everything in and figuring things out on his own and I’d relax a little.
I think that’s the thing I love most about Bean’s age right now. Yes, we are raising him. Yes, he has to live within our boundaries. Yes, he has to follow our rules. But despite all of that, Bean is such an individual right now. More than he’s ever been before. So, if he doesn’t feel like hanging with the group that day for whatever reason, well that’s a decision I’m going to let him make. It doesn’t mean I’ve done something wrong or that I’ve raised a rude, unsocial child. It doesn’t actually have anything to do with me. It’s just how Bean’s feeling that day.
Aren’t kids awesome? I remember when Bean was born and I was so excited to finally meet him. I kept saying to Chris during that first week at home with him, “I love having someone else in our family!” But now that that little person is an actual individual who thinks and decides and reasons all on his own, it takes that excitement of having another family member to a whole new level. In a nutshell, it’s just fun and exciting every day to be Bean’s parents.
19 Comments
Jen at Cabin Fever
Aww!!
Could you make my hormones surge anymore either?! haha. And its one thing to meet a baby when he/she is born, but its a completely different thing to see who that person is going to truly be!
Cabin Fever in Vermont
Ashley
He is too cute! What an independent little man. It’s great to hear you talk about his independence and how you respect when he wants to be alone. I think sometimes we all get so caught up in what we think kids “should” be doing in a given situation that we might push them to do what they don’t want to do. It sounds like you guys really respect Bean’s wishes, and that’s so cool.
Alaina
Aw, I love the expression on his face like “what’s wrong with these people, mom?” And the little girl’s outfit? Too too cute!
Sarah H.
This was great! Bean is soo cute 🙂
I LOVED Gymboree as a kid that when it was my sister’s turn to go I played on everything all over agan even thought I was kinda too old–so much fun! The best part is being dragged around in a cicrle on the giant colorful parachute while they blew bubbles at you!
Kat @ Living Like the Kings
Awww BEAN!!!! I love his little personality! I’m super excited to meet our addition in the next month. I’m just DYING to see who she is!
El
Bean was having a loner day. It’s great that you realize that sometimes he just needs to do his own thing.
I love the top you are wearing in the pictures here. Where did you get it?
Nikki
I love the pictures, he is just too cute! Completely understandable that Bean wanted some alone time to take everything in. I know that I definitely have those days to where I want to stay away from the pack! It’s wonderful to see his transformation as he grows up (too quickly I might add)!
Katie M
Toddlers are in the developmental stage where they play side by side with other kids but don’t play interactively WITH other kiddos yet until about preschool. So he’s right on track developmentally! (I’m a peds nurse) He sure looked cute and like he was enjoying himself!
Rheannon
I love the look on his face. Especially on the fake schoolbus and in the parachute. It’s like he’s thinking “Do you really expect me to be amused by such childish things?”
He has such personality.
Mindee@ourfrontdoor
I always stress about what the other parents are thinking about my kid and my parenting and then I get super tense I like your approach better!
Amy @ Serve At Once
Oh, Bean! You’re such a cool little dude! Maybe it’s good that he’s learning to like playing by himself since Gracie’s gonna need a little more attention in the next few months… 🙂
I can’t wait to see Bean as a big bro. I love mine, and I know Gracie will love hers too.
Ashley @ According to Ashley
Hahaha – When I saw his name tag, I thought for a second, “Who in the world is Michael?!?” I used to take a little girl that I babysat to Gymboree class and it was SO FUN!
Tabs
HAHA, Ashley, I thought the EXACT same thing! I think I expected it to say Bean, haha!
What a cute little Michael man he is!
mom of two
The is the best age… until they turn two.. that not so fun…
But I will say it was weird to see “michael” on his name tag. He is a bean.. its just fits!
Jacquie
Ahh, I would love to have something like this to read back that my mum had written when I was a baby, would really remind me how loved I am – Michael is a very lucky boy xx
Tressa
Micheal/Bean….he’s a doll no matter what he’s doing!! Alone or with the group of kids, he’s a doll. And growing up so darn fast, I might add!
Katherine
Haha the nametag thing made me smile – I love both of his names 🙂
Clare
Kids tend not to interactively play with other kids until they are about two and a half, so Bean-Man is doing just fine flower. He is just adorable, and you, lady are looking mighty fine too, you are blooming!!
Bee
I remember my mum trying to practically force me to be a social butterfly when I was really quite shy, but more importantly just content to play by myself. I had loads of imaginary friends and I wasn’t at all bothered about being with other children most of the time.
I really wish my mum had of been able to step back and realise it doesn’t really matter, when I got older and started school I was popular despite not being overly confident.
You meet quiet people, loud people, socialites and introverts. If Bean is happier playing by himself I certainly wouldn’t try and force him because it makes you feel like he ‘should’ be doing it.
As long as he’s happy, then he really will thank you and just socialise when he feel like he wants to. Never under estimate the power of the imagination.