Euphoria
Since coming home from the hospital, my hormones have been whacked out, to say the least. But unlike during my pregnancy, my hormones seem to be surging from happy to happier and back down to happy and then back up to damn-near euphoric. I am so stinking happy right now that I’m 99% sure I am being drugged without my knowledge.
Okay, well, I’m the one giving myself the pain pills, so I guess it’s not against my will, per se.
The happiness doesn’t make me giggly or even all that smiley, really. I’m still in a good amount of pain. I’m still tired. I’m still learning about how to be Gracie’s mom. And all of those things are stressful and chaotic to a certain extent. But underneath all of those very real emotions, there’s just a river of happiness flowing inside me. I don’t remember ever being this happy or this content. Certainly not the past year.
And all this happiness comes from this guy…
Well, I mean, a lot of it comes from this girl…and her ruffles…
And a lot of it comes from this guy…and his Lightning McQueen slippers…
But without this guy, those two little whippersnappers wouldn’t even be a thought in my head.
Having babies changes your relationship. It’s an unavoidable side effect of procreation. You can’t birth babies together without a few things changing. Sometimes those changes are hard to adjust to. Learning to make time for Chris after having one baby was hard enough, but I can already see how having two babies will make quality time with him even harder. And in the middle of the night when we wake up for feedings and we’re tired and we’re cranky, it’s hard not to take sharp, pointed criticisms personally. But those kinds of little changes are far, far outweighed by the good, positive changes that Chris and I have instantly gone through after the birth of both Bean and Gracie.
There’s just something about seeing Chris holding a baby that we made that makes your heart flip over in ways I can’t explain. Seeing him love them so completely and so carefully and so unconditionally fills my heart with such happiness. I feel loved even more because he loves them.
And, apparently, I’m not the only one who feels like this because a certain man that I’m married to seems to be quite happy these days, too.
Being a parent changes who you are. It brings you happiness during times when you had forgotten what happiness that great felt like. It brings you satisfaction and completeness. It reminds you how small you really are and how dependent we are on the Good Lord. And at the same time, it shows you how strong you are and how much you matter to people.
And when you change that much and that deeply as a person, it can’t help but change your marriage, too. If you’re lucky. If you’re really, really lucky, your marriage will never be the same after you have babies together. If you’re really, really lucky, you will value your partner more. You will learn how deeply you can love someone.
If you’re really, really lucky, your life will never be the same.
42 Comments
Amy
Oh Katie, your entries lately have been wonderful– your joy is contagious 🙂 So, so happy for all of you!
…. and those ruffles on Gracie?! I die!
Sara @ embrylovescookies
Amen.
Jen at Cabin Fever
What a lovely post 🙂 I really truly hope that I am lucky like you and Chris when my first baby arrives! Cabin Fever in Vermont
Melanie
beautiful post!!!!!
Katy @ MonsterProof
I’m so glad that your emotions are on such an upswing! Though who wouldn’t be happy with those cuties!
Ann G-B
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lindsay (Young Married Mom)
I love your perspectives on relationships and family–it’s what’s made me completely obsessed with your blog for the past year. Thank you for this positive look on marriage, family, and all the wonderful changes those things bring to us as people. Many blessings to you and your (bigger!) family.
Chloe
So beautiful!
I’m loving these last posts so much!!
I wish I’m half as lucky in my marriage as you are in yours!!
Emily
I am really, really lucky too. Our marriage has taken the bad and the great with the birth of our son and it’s stronger than ever!
Shelley
Beautiful and touching post, Katie. Those pictures of Chris & the two kiddies exude love.
Life of a Doctor's Wife
*Sob!* Oh, this post is so so sweet! I am so happy for you and your little family. May that river of happiness flow through your heart for eternity.
Jamie
I know Grace is the new little newborn and I should be gushing over how adorable she is (and she is!), but the Bean man’s little grin is so innocent, and so handsome, and so freaking adorable that I can barely even stand it!! I hope I get one just like him 🙂
Ashley @ A Recipe for Sanity
This was lovely. I feel like this is the payoff from that season of depression you were going through. I am so happy for your happiness, and so happy that you have a wonderful husband and beautiful kids. Congratulations once again!
Maggie
What a beautiful, happy family. How cool will it be for Bean or Gracie to read these kind of blog entries when they’re having their own babies! Awesome : )
Sarah
I’ve been a long time regular reader, but don’t really comment. I’m breaking my mold to say a huge congrats to you and Chris! Bean and Gracie have to be the cutest darn kids ever! I love reading about them, about your marriage ups and downs and everything in between! So… Thanks for opening your life on a daily basis and for being a great example for parents and spouses alike.
Marie
Thanks Katie 🙂 Going on a 4th date with a guy tonight, and all I’ll be thinking of is ‘I want babies, I want babies’ after seeing the oh so darling pictures of Gracie girl! Probably not a good thing to have in my head when I tend to speak before I think 😉
Jennifer
These post almost want to make me have babies right now, almost ;-). The pictures of Chris and Gracie are beautiful.
Jess (In My Healthy Opinion)
These posts are SO beautiful, Katie! I smile every time I read them. Gracie is so adorable (and of course Bean is too!); I’m so happy for you and your family. 🙂
Alaina
T and I are right at the point where we’re talking about starting a family, and this post gives me such hope. I want it to change us and for the better, bringing us closer. I love him so much already, I can’t imagine how much more I will as I see him as a father
Holli
*sniff* what a fantastical post!!
Corinn
I love this!!!!
Christy
What’s in those pain pills and where can I get some? Just kidding! Don’t let your babies grow up, ok? That’s one of my major hesitations on having kids…they grow. : (
P.S. I agree. Men look 50% better for each adorable baby that they happen to be holding. That must be a section of the female brain. It’s the called the babydaddamus lobe.
Maggie
Oh Katie, this makes me tear up in happiness! And makes me want babies even more… So happy that you’re all so happy and doing so well!
Alyssa
The highlight of my day is logging on to see your new gracie/bean/family post. Keep them coming to help me through the last 2 months of my pregnancy 🙂
Erica
When I had my first son I had this bizarre feeling…I was acutely aware how much I would love my child and I felt prepared for that. What overwhelmed me, instead, was how much *more* I could love my husband!
So happy for you guys. Love to all!
Amy
Awww, gorgeous post 🙂
P.S My son would kill for Lighting McQueen slippers. Thanks for the great birthday present idea!
Tressa
I think these pictures shows how happy all of you guys are! You all have that “glow” in your eyes! I’m happy for you all. Beanie is such a doll in those slippers! He’s all proud 😉
Kristen
Beautiful written! What a blessing to be blessed with a husband whom you love more with each day. I, too, rejoice with you and for my own blessing of a husband!
Jessica
It’s official. I have baby fever. This post is certainly not helping. Love Gracie’s strawberry blonde hair. So sweet!
Snarky Mommy
We have a picture of my husband with our two (or maybe with three, hard to keep it straight after one) looking into the distance like that. Except he has an XBox remote in his hands and is staring at the TV in the distance.
Welcome home!
name*tessabella76
Oh Katie, another awesome post! I’m so happy for your family! My baby fever just went up a million degrees!
Courtney
You have managed to express my exact thoughts and emotions in such an eloquent way. Thank you for sharing this; I wholeheartedly agree with everything you said. Now please excuse me so I can go give my husband a smooch!
Ariel
Oh Katie, I just love this post…my fiance and I are getting married in June and we are soo excited! All your posts lately make me want a little Bean or Gracie of my own!
Regina
Love this post, so beautifully written. You have a beautiful family!
Savvy in San Francisco
What a beautiful post! It is such a true statement. Just when you think that you can’t love them anymore, you see how they are with the babies and it just makes you love them that much more. It is truly lucky to find someone that can make you feel like that! I feel so fortunate as well!
Jessica
Okay so I hope this doesn’t come off as totally creepy but I somehow stumbled across your blog (mind you I don’t have a blog of my own but have been thinking about starting one so I have been lurking around the blogosphere checking out the scene. 🙂 ) but I somehow felt obliged to say congratulations to you and your family on your new little doll!!! I have been reading random blogs for a long time and never commented on any but I got sucked into your blog and I love it! I love love your honesty and humor. Wishing you and your adorable family all the best!! 🙂
Oh and PS, perhaps one of the reasons I was so intrigued by your blog is because my absolute favorite aunt had a baby recently (okay, maybe not quite recently, it was almost five years ago /:) but i went with her to the first sonogram and said “it
looks like a little bean!” She is my god daughter now and although the nickname has never stuck with any of my family, I always call her my little bean. 🙂
Once again, congrats to you and your fam!!! Keep on writing so i can get a good laugh and a big smile on my face when I’m “creeping” on your blog. 😉
Lisa
Such a beautiful post Katie, I can’t wait to see my husband in the same role, I’m sure I’d be feeling the same way about him.
Kat @ Living Like the Kings
Ah I love this post! Sometimes when I’m walking around the house with Peanut I tell her that I love her. I love her SOOO MUCH. I love her almost more than anyone else in this world. Except for her daddy. Because without him I wouldn’t have her.
Lynne
So pleased that things are going well for you! Also happy that it sounds like Chris will be sharing some nightime duties…..not sure why I was thinking of this earlier today, but I was remembering all those sleepless nights…my husband is a great guy – but he did not get up with either of the kids, and I am always very envious of anyone who has a spouse that helps with that…so enjoy!
Waiting for Bulgaria
Ahhh, such a sweet post. I’m so glad that everything is going so well. I’m assuming you’re off for the summer and don’t have to go back to work until next Fall. That will be great for ya’ll. Now I have to tell you I just looked at the pics from your photoshoot. I have never seen anything more precious. Gracie is beautiful and Bean is so handsome.
HeatherM
You sound like the happiest luckiest mom in the world 🙂 Enjoy this amazing life-changing time with your family. You have worked hard for it, and even more than that, you have been blessed! File this post in your “when I’m having a rough day” file. Congrats to you and your wonderful family!
Amanda Salyer
Congrats on the new addition to your family! Gracie girl is beautiful! What a wonderful blessing from the Lord. God Bless!