Strong Women Make Joyful Noises
When I first saw the trailer for the new Dolly Parton/Queen Latifah movie, “Joyful Noise,” I will admit my first thought was not of my mother.
At first glance, my mom and I would seem to have little to do with this movie, mostly because neither of us is a vocally-gifted Black woman with an attitude nor a petite, Southern, white woman with large…eyes.
But I spent the past weekend with my family, celebrating Christmas a little early, and I got to spend some time with my mom. After being with her for a few days and then watching the trailer again, I started to see some very clear similarities.
First, much like Madame Dolly Parton and Lady Queen Latifah, my mom and I are very different in a lot of ways. She sends out color-coded, bar-graphed schedules of family functions at her house (sometimes even when they aren’t at her house), while I am lucky if I remember to go grocery shopping before a family function at our house.
She is one of the most creative, crafty people I’ve ever met. She can sew, crochet, paint, and create just about anything. I, on the other hand, have seen bowls of paint shrivel up and dry at my mere presence and have single-handedly destroyed simple crafts made for the 3-10 year old age bracket.
We also handle our emotions differently. Mom was diagnosed with cancer a couple years ago, battled through it, and is now healthy again, all with no more than two words about the whole ordeal. On the other hand, I get a cold and feel the need to call everyone I know, put it on Facebook for all those people I used to know, and then blog about it to all those people that I don’t even know.
However, just like Ms. Parton and Ms. Latifah’s characters in “Joyful Noise,” my mom and I are united most strongly by our similarities.
My mom is, hands down, the best mom I know. Like me, she was a working mom while I was growing up, but I never remember her working (though she is now a Vice President at a major banking corporation, so I’m sure she was working her arse off at the time).
All I remember about her working is our ride to school every day. I remember she would ALWAYS get into the car and then raise herself up to rearrange her skirt or dress so it wouldn’t wrinkle (in fact, when I do this occasionally in my own car, I always think of her). Then she’d drive my sister and me to school, talking to us about our schedules or activities that day, while balancing a full-to-the-brim cup of coffee while she drove.
When she wasn’t at work, my mom’s attention was always on her family. I never noticed the presence of her work life at home. As a working mom myself now, I understand how hard that must have been for her to achieve, and yet she seemed to do it so effortlessly.
I’m working on finding that balance in my own life, and I’m thankful I have her example to follow.
My mom and I are also similar in that neither of us are pack rats. You won’t find boxes of old, meaningful trinkets in either of our houses. In fact, BOTH our husbands would tell you that we throw everything away, even things we probably need. On the surface, it’s because neither of us like useless junk laying around.
But on a deeper level, I think it’s probably because neither of us dwell in the past much-my mom because she chooses not to. I don’t because I have the memory of a goldfish.
My mom and I live in the moment, in the today. We build glorious plans for the future (which, we both realize, may or may not actually come to fruition), but we aren’t really the kinds of people who will sit around talking about things that happened years ago.
On one hand, I love this about both of us because we are able to move forward, move on, and move up. But on the other hand, neither of us is very good at keeping in touch with old friends. We focus on the here and now, and while we are grateful for the experiences that have shaped us, we don’t really feel the need to dwell on them or relive them.
Both my mom and I believe the best is always yet to come.
When I teach, I tell my students that when you compare and contrast two things, you are able to really learn about them and from them.
That’s true for my relationship with my mom, too. We have so many similarities and differences, and yet there are so many things that I am still learning from her.
I feel like each new chapter in my life opens a whole new world of understanding I have about my mom. When I became a wife, I began to learn about and understand what a gift her own strong marriage to my dad was to my sister and me. When I became a mom, I began to learn and understand the things my mom must have truly sacrificed through the years to give me the steadfast, secure, and happy childhood that I had. And as my own two babies get bigger every day, I am learning and understanding a little more about how hard it must be at times to be the parent of adult children and to have watched your daughters grow so quickly, right before your eyes.
“Joyful Noise” is, yes, about a church choir and singing and young love and old rivals, but I think you would be missing out on the real meaning of the movie if that’s all you see.
It strikes a certain “note” with me (see what I did there???) about the ties that bind us to the important women in our lives and how important it is to surround ourselves with strong women who are both similar and distinctly different than ourselves. Through those similarities and differences, we learn from each other.
And I’m so thankful that my teacher is my mom.
Is there an inspirational woman in your life who has changed your world for the better? I’d love to know about her and how she has helped shape you as a person. Tell me about her in the comments section below!
****** Joyful Noise opens in theaters on January 13. For more information and to see the movie trailer, you can visit the official Joyful Noise Site, the movie’s Facebook page or follow Warner Bros. Pictures on Twitter. Also check out the BlogHer.com Joyful Noise page to see what other bloggers thought of the movie.
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21 Comments
Staci
Love, love, love this post. Reading it brought back very vivid memories for me of my mom and I. My mom, too, was always a working mom and is the president at a mortgage corporation but she was also the most amazing mom ever. We are similar, yet different creatures as well and are still the best of friends. She is still teaching me, regardless of what she might think, about well, pretty much everything. Thank you again for this post. I’m going to send it to her and remind her how much I love her.
jenn
This is beautiful Katie. My mom are very different on some matters and yet very much alike (as much as I hate to admit it sometimes lol). We’re both packrats. I have tote bins in my basment full of stuffed animals to prove it. But at the same time, I still call her almost once a week for advice on something. She was a single, working mother for most of my childhood which is where I get my independence and self-sufficient spirit. Marriage is slowly teaching me that I have a partner in this and we need to work with each other and rely on each other.
Sarah@Crazy Love Gamble-Style
That is beautiful!! I can so relate to this. My mom wasn’t always my favorite person but as I grew up our relationship evolved and I began to really respect all the things about her that I had a hard time understanding on the way. Becoming a wife and mother was the real kicker. Great post Katie!!
Lisa @ Floating Along
So sweet! My mom and I are very close and we are extremely similar. We’ve gotten closer as I’ve grown up and I’m sure that will continue when I have children one day.
Alaina
What a sweet tribute to your mom! She sounds like a wonderful lady, one who handles her life with such grace. I think we could all aspire to be like that.
Lorrie
Loved this post! I have wanted to see tis movie since I saw the first preview! My mom is my best friend. Being raised an only child by a single mom I had no other choice but to depend on her and she never let me down. What a strong supporter she has been for me and now for my husband, too. We are so lucky to have her in our lives. I can’t wait to give her a grandchild to love and cherish!
Jen @ Caved In
Such a lovely tribute to your mother and your relationship with her. Every day I am inspired by my patients. They are dealing with cancer with grace and appreciation for every day. Nothing is taken for granted with them and no words go unspoken. I’ve definitely started applying those lessons to my life. I tell those I love that I love them all the time, I hug my friends and tell them how much I appreciate them.
michelle @ our life down unda
Awww… That was really sweet Katie. I too love your mom and see the similarities between all three of you (you, gin and your mom) all of the time! But my favorite quote of your mom’s has to be, “Now girls, stop farting around.” haha… I think Gin and I were told that each and every weekend 🙂 Beautiful post!
Liz
This post is so sweet and touching! It gives me faith that one day I can balance being a working career woman but also manage to be an amazing mom at the same time! Your mom gives me encouragement that I can do both!
Cristina @marriage from scratch
This is so sweet. It makes me want to see the movie! My mom and I have gone through a lot in our relationship- probably because we are so similar. Thanks for a great post!
Cindy
Whenever you talk about your family, and especially about your mom, I get very jealous because this is not how I could describe things but that’s alright because you have to accept what you get. My mom was “inspiration” only in that I want to make sure that I do all things the opposite way. I won’t use this comment section to “air” my family problems but will just say that I am more inspired by my friends than my family.
Katie & Gin's Mom
I will always cherish this lovely tribute, Kitten. It means so much. Seeing you and Gin grow into such strong, loving and kind women is its own lifelong reward. Love, Mom
Marina
Katie there is something very beautiful and calming about your writing and this is just the perfect example. You and your mother are wonderful people, and it made me start thinking about my mom as well!
Rachel @ The Ongoing Planner
Great post! I definitely notice the similarities and differences between my mom and I as time goes on and our lives change. I have a lot of my mom’s characteristics, but a lot of my dad too. Love posts about parents, and your mom’s comment is adorable!
Casey @ The Baker Bee
What a wonderfully written post. Brought tears to my eyes. Then, I saw your mom’s comment and I actually started crying. 🙂
Ashley @ A Recipe for Sanity
This is a beautiful tribute to your mom. She sounds like an incredible woman, and reminds me a lot of my own mother. My mom was a single mom and worked my entire life to make sure I had everything I needed and that I had the best education she could provide. She pushed me to challenge myself and told me I could be anything I wanted to be. Thanks for reminding me of that today.
Amber @ classy confessions
So I was a little hesitant on whether I wanted go see this movie or not, but you have convinced me. What a beautiful post!
S
Reading about your relationship with your mother has brought tears to my eyes. I hope to e able to rekindle a relationship with my parents
deborah
Mothers are so special! I am so thankful for my mother, who taught me so much. Mom is still the first person I want when I’m not feeling well or the first one I want to call when I am excited about something or need someone to talk to!
Lisa Stone
I loved this post — I’m so reminded of my own mother, whose ability to multi-task on work/kids/marriage/creating/reading/cooking made her a genteel Southern tornado. I’m still trying to imitate her. Perhaps one day. And as a mother myself, I just hope your mother gets enormous joy out of reading this beautiful tribute!
Cindy Conner
What a sweet post about your mom! Enjoyed this so much. Speaking of going to see Joyful Noise, my 3 daughters and I are going after church today! I can’t wait.