Nighttime Shinanigans
We had to kick Bean out of his crib at only 18 months old because we needed it for Gracie (don’t worry, I’ve budgeted that into his therapy costs in the future). Because he was so little when we turned him loose in his room, we used a baby gate on his bedroom door to make sure that he didn’t wander around the house at night. I figured that when he got a little older, we’d stop using the baby gate. But Bean Man never fought against it and never tried to climb out of it, so we never stopped using it. Even still, he has his gate on his door every night.
Last night, though, Bean proved he no longer needed the baby gate. It was almost his bedtime, and so I gave him a five minute warning (which works wonders for him whenever we change activities). I was changing the sheets on our bed, and so I told him as soon as I was finished, we’d go get on his jammies and brush his teeth. Well, lo and behold, Bean Man took it upon himself to go get out his jammies, change into them, put all his dirty clothes in the hamper (hallelujah!), and then went and brushed his teeth all on his own! I heard the water turn on in the bathroom, and I ALMOST went in there to check on him, but I figured this was his little independence coming through, so I let him do it all by himself. AND HE DID! Then, he came bouncing into my room and announced, “I did it all by myself, Mom!”
Well, I was so darn proud of what a big guy he was for taking care of his chores without even having to be asked or helped, that I told him maybe he was a big enough boy to not have to sleep with the baby gate on his door.
You would have thought I had said, “I’m going to give you the keys to Disney World.”
He started smiling from ear to ear and was so excited. I had no idea it meant that much to him! So, I went and tucked him in and he just kept laying there smiling, all proud of himself. He was so excited to not have that gate on his door. I told him that as long as he stayed in bed, he wouldn’t have to use the gate anymore. But if he got out of bed, then I’d have to put the gate back up. He nodded enthusiastically, and went right to sleep. It’s been three nights now, and he hasn’t made a peep after the lights go out. He’s just so proud of be a big boy without a gate.
Chris was working all weekend, so he came home around 11:00 that first night. He went to kiss the kids like he does every night when he goes to bed, and he came walking back into our bedroom with his eyes as big as saucers.
“He doesn’t need a GATE anymore?!?!”
I explained what had happened that night, and Chris was so proud of Bean, too. He agreed that it was time to take the gate away. Clearly, Bean was growing up. So, Chris and I climbed into bed and turned out the light.
Laying there, Chris said, “I hope he isn’t one of those staring kids.”
“What staring kids?”
“You know, the kids that just stand there and stare at you while you’re sleeping until you wake up.”
(silence)
“I hadn’t thought about that,” I said. “That would freak me out.”
“Go check on him,” Chris said, pushing me out of bed. “Make sure he’s not staring.”
So, I get out of bed and go check on him. And – wouldn’t you know it? – he was STARING! Sometimes, Bean wakes up in the middle of the night and cries a little bit, but when you go in there to check on him, he’s actually still asleep. So you just have to lay him back down and he’ll go back to sleep. Well, this time I went in there and he was sitting straight up in bed, staring out into space.
FREAKED MY FREAK. I don’t care if he is my own, there’s nothing freakier than a staring kid in the middle of the night.
So, I laid him back down and came back to bed.
“He’s staring,” I told Chris.
“AT US????”
“No, he was in his bed, but he was staring. I laid him back down, though.”
“Well, what happens if he comes in here tonight and stares?”
“I don’t know…” I said. “I didn’t think it through when I took the gate down.”
(silence)
“Put the baby gate up,” Chris said.
“I can’t. I promised him.”
“No, not on his door. Put it on ours.”
“What????”
“Yeah, that way if he comes in, he’ll have to climb over the gate and we at least will hear him coming.”
“Why don’t we just get him a collar with a little bell on it, too?” I said, laughing.
“Quit laughing! This is serious! Put the gate up! I’m freaked out!”
So, long story short: Our kid freaked us out and we locked ourselves in our bedroom with a baby gate last night. It’s either one of our more brilliant ideas, or one of the stupidest. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see…
48 Comments
Kate @ Love and Kate
LOVE this so much! I am seriously laughing out loud. Hilarious. I love y’all.
Kristen G
This is one of the funniest stories you have ever told! I can’t stop laughing but yes, staring kids are terrifying!
Beth
My daughter was a starer. She would stand at the side of our bed for God knows how long and stare at like 330 am. When my body finally sensed her and woke up in a panic (from someone leaning over the bed staring) she would say, “i have to go to the bathroom.” To which I would reply, “just go! Go! You don’t have to ask!” Every night for 2 years
Julie S.
I am laughing out loud! THIS totally sounds like something that would happen to us.
katie
That is one of the funniest things I’ve heard!!! I would do the same thing too!
Brooke
Funniest post I have ever read! I am literally laughing out loud!
Kristen
This post made me laugh SO HARD! Oh my gosh. Thank you for making my Sunday night!!!
Heather in ND
I laaaauuugggheeed and laughed and laughed at this!!! So creepy!
Melissa W.
Seriously hilarious! And that’s why we don’t let our kids out of their room either!
Nicole T.
I love this SO hard. It is hilarious.
Lindsay (Young Married Mom)
I started reading this post, hoping it would shed some light on our current how-do-we-get-our-toddler-to-sleep-in-a-big-boy-bed situation. I’m so glad it didn’t. I still don’t know what to do, but this was WAYYY BETTER!
Adrienne
I read this out loud to my husband and we laughed so hard! Great post!
Mindee@ourfrontdoor
I am so glad you told that story – I needed the laugh. Thanks Katie (and Chris too of course.)
Abby @ I Used To Have A Brain
I’m laughing my butt off!! So funny! Freaks me out too!!
Abby @ I Used To Have A Brain
Maybe you need one of those bells that hang from the door frame and jingle when someone walks in, like they have in stores:o)
Abby @ I Used To Have A Brain
Or a string of aluminum cans :o)
Jessica W
I laughed so hard at this!! This completely sounds like Matt and I if we were parents.
Meredith J
ok… you have me cracking up out loud… my hubs is looking at me like I’ve lost my mind. this is freaking hilarious. what’s funny is I got all freaked when you said he WAS staring! now all i can do is picture some cute little creepy kid staring and me laying in bed!! thanks for the good LOL!! 🙂
Marie
Funniest post ever!!! Love it!
Heather O.
There is a reason I call my kids The children of the corn. They scare me. (I laughed so hard I cried while reading this)
Kristin
Oh I am dying laughing! We have a staring child … but she comes to my husband’s side of the bed (thank goodness)!
Alaina
Oh my gosh – that is too funny!
Jamie
Oh goodness how I laughed. Thank you for the Monday morning wake-up. You guys crack me up!!
Sarah H.
Oh my gosh I’m sitting here dying laughing!!!
Deepa
We JUST got rid of the gate on his door last week too! Insanity. Now, Rohan likes to get out of bed jus after we tuck him in,walk across the doorway, and then climbs right back into bed and tucks himself right back up. I think he is just testing out he freedom. We need to get some kind of light in the hallway though, he was trying to get to the bathroom in the dark last week and had an accident. Poor kid – I felt awful. I was a starer. I think I took years off my mom’s life.
Nikki
I was tearing up so badly as I was reading this. I cannot wait to show this to my Husband. I was also a starer and a very very quiet whisperer. I usually would only come in when it was storming and there was crazy lightning. Apparently a creepy starer with lightning as a silhouette was not appreciated by my Mother. I think baby W is going to have to have a baby gate until about 7…
Mary
Oh, my. I’m dying over here. Kids are so weird!
Courtney
Laugh out loud funny, this one is. Thanks for the Monday morning giggles, Katie!
Sara
I am laughing so hard at my desk this morning! : )
ang
laughing. out loud. at my desk. Busted. HAHA.
Stephanie @ Our Marriage Adventure
I am laughing so hard right now only because we do this with OUR DOGS! We baby-gate ourselves in rather than them out. Gotta love the gates.
Tracy
I C.A.N.N.O.T stop laughing! i’m making a fool of myself in my cubicle right now! And I was one of those staring kids too! My parents freaked out the first time I did it. I would just sleep walk into their room and stare at my mom until she woke up. My dad thought something was wrong with me! Ha!
jennifer
just laughed really hard!
Alisha
OMG – we’re in the process of setting up my 2.5 year old’s big boy room in preparation for his little brother’s arrival, and I just purchased a baby gate for the SAME reason! He loves his bed and I know we’ll have no problems keeping him in his room most of the time…but the thought of him sneaking into our room in the middle of the night FREAKS me out!!! Ha!!
Jessika
That is hysterical! And I completely agree, nothing creepier than a staring kid… Good idea, Chris. Good idea.
Nancy
How did he go to the bathroom at night with the gate, after he was potty-trained? My kid wakes up at least once a night to pee.
Sonya
This made me laugh SO HARD!
Jen @ Ginger guide
Staring kids are super creepy!! I just think of too many horror movies and I’m thoroughly freaked out. I would have no shame putting the baby gate up on my door for awhile because it’s totally gonna happen sooner or later.
Katie W
This is your best blog post ever. I seriously about wet my pants I was laughing so hard.
Meredith
That. is. Awesome. I am laughing so hard. Thanks for sharing that gem.
Michelle
Oh my goodness, you two are hilarious!!! It’s been a long, rough week struggling with PPD. I haven’t even updated my own blog in a week! This post made me smile though. And then giggle a little. And finally full out laughing out loud that made my husband look at me like I was an alien. Thank you for sharing an for making me laugh and for putting a baby gate on your door!
Carrie
Omg I have never laughed so hard!!! I’m laying in bed relaxing and started reading this post and laughed til I was crying!!! Then tried to read it to my hubby and laughed to the point that he couldn’t understand me!! I hope my itty bitty doesn’t do that!!
Katie L
Hysterical!!
Jessica
HILARIOUS! I would be freeked out too!
Lindsey
Ohhhhhh my hell this had me DYING!!!!! I agree, a staring kid is a possessed kid!! I love how you wrote “FREAKED MY FREAK” – hahahaha. I’m cracking up!!
Tabs
I so wish this had a “like” button…or maybe an “I’m still laughing out loud” button.
Kat
Katie, I am laughing my tail off. Like out loud. Literally, with tears streaming down my face and all. I’m terrified to move P from her crib to a toddler bed so we’re just not doing it. LOL. Like ever…maybe when she’s 16. Right now she’s 21 months and loves her crib so I say, why fix what ain’t broken. esp if she’s a starer…..CREEPY!
Vanna
Laughing out loud!! Too funny.