I’m a Loser

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I’m a loser.  I lose things.  Not everything, but a lot of things.  And generally, it’s the same things over and over again.  I lose my cell phone all the time, and sometimes I lose it for a couple days at a time.  People text or call me and think I’m not responding because I’m avoiding them, but usually it’s because I’ve misplaced my cell phone for a while.  Same thing happens with my sunglasses.  I don’t really know what happens to them, but they will just disappear for a couple days at a time.

I also lose my wallet a lot.  One time, I went to the grocery store without it one morning.  I did all my grocery shopping and didn’t realize it wasn’t in my purse until I got to the check out and they had already rung up all my groceries.  They grocery clerk was not amused.  So, they let me load up all my groceries in a buggy, and then they held the buggy for me while I ran home to get my wallet.  And then, not three days later, I did the exact same thing again.  But this time I was at Target.

So, occasionally I lose things.

But I have a reason!  I have an excuse!  IT’S MY CHILDREN!  IT’S ALWAYS THE CHILDREN!  Well, not directly.  Although, Gracie loves to walk around with my purse on her arm, my sunglasses on her face and my cell phone up to her ear.  I don’t know where she gets it…

Seriously, I lose things a lot because of my diaper bag situation.  I am right on the edge of not having to carry a diaper bag anymore.  I keep diapers, wipes and a change of clothes for each kid in my car, and the only thing the kids ever really need when we are out nowadays are their sippy cups.  Though, they both drink out of regular cups, too, so I’m starting to carry those less and less in favor of letting them use real ones if we’re out to eat.  They do still like having snacks when we’re out and about, but I can throw those in my purse.  But I haven’t completely let go of my diaper bag yet.  Sometimes, I will carry a fully loaded diaper bag when I really need to pack some heat, like on long days out of the house or a time when I know I’ll need to bring some entertainment for the kids.  But I’m in the middle of transitioning into being a purse-toting mom for the first time.

This has caused lots of problems.  I used to just keep my wallet, keys, sunglasses and cell phone in my diaper bag.  It served as my purse and my survival kit for my kids.  But these days, I’m bouncing around more between my purse and my diaper bag, which means I will occasionally leave things in one bag when I am carrying another.  Ahhh… the plight of a mom.

This past weekend, something was lost at my house.  I’m not going to be more specific than that, but it was a very expensive, very important something.  And it was lost.  It had been sitting on our kitchen counter for weeks.  Neither Chris or I had touched it.  And then, two days ago, I picked it up for something but when I went to open it, there was something missing from inside.  And there I stood, holding the remaining evidence in my hands.

I swore up and down to Chris that I had not touched what was missing.  I had simply grabbed the thing and what was missing was already missing when I picked it up.  I had not lost it.  It wasn’t my fault.  And, though Chris insisted he believed me, it was only my things that we looked through – my purse, my bedside table, my side of the desk, and my diaper bag.  I started to get pissed.

“Why aren’t we looking through your things?” I demanded.  “What about your piles and your wallet and your car?”

“I wasn’t the last person to have it,” Chris said patiently, while rifling through my car console.

I know deep in my heart that it was lost before I picked it up.  I just know it.  But I also know that Chris doesn’t really believe that.  And that just bakes my biscuit.

So, yesterday I did something about it.  I bought myself a new purse.  A really nice new purse.  I got a $100 Macy’s gift card for Christmas and I spent nearly the whole darn thing on a purse, which I’ve never done before.

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I came home and I cleaned out my diaper bag.  I moved everything that was mine into my purse, and everything that was left (which was mostly toys and used Kleenex) was put back where it was supposed to be.

I am proud to announce that I am now diaper bag free!  I vamped up my car bag, so that it includes even more necessities, should we need them while we are out. Now, it has diapers and wipes, a change of clothes for each kid, a few things to entertain the kids in an emergency (Play Doh and lacing cards), two empty sippy cups and a set of small plastic utensils in case we find ourselves out to eat somewhere. All of these things will stay in my car and can be used as needed, but this means I don’t have to pack and carry a diaper bag every time we leave the house anymore.

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I came home super proud of my revolutionary purse idea.  I even told the sales girl at Macy’s that I was buying this purse to celebrate being diaper bag free.  She said she had two little ones under five years old, and so she totally understood.  But you know who didn’t understand?  Chris.  He came home and I told him all about my new purse and how I wasn’t going to carry a diaper bag anymore and how this would mean I would be able to keep up with my stuff better and wasn’t he so proud of me???? And you know what he said?

“You DID lose that thing, didn’t you?”

So, I am now in need of a good divorce attorney.  Please send any recommendations my way.  Thank you.

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19 thoughts on “I’m a Loser

  1. Ashley

    I am a loser too except i was one before my LO..earrings and my cell phone were my most common..my current item lost is very small, very expensive, and very sentimental..

  2. I always hated diaper bags. I really ditched it at the first possible opportunity (maybe 6+m ago?). My son is 19m, and in my purse (almost exactly that size), for him I carry 1-2 diapers, travel pack of wipes, 3 toy cars, and a notebook and a pen (ok, not entirely for him). Oh, and a couple cereal bars or fruit snacks. Ok, and a bubble wand. That’s it. Don’t even have a car bag. Of course, I’m now cursing myself, but it’s never been a problem.

  3. ha,that sounds like T. It’s usually on me. Cute purse, and good for you!

  4. Stefania

    Not sure what the deal is with losing things lately but last week as I was helping my mom set up the kindle she got for Christmas we lost the wire that comes with it for recharging and the new charger that we bought. I SWEAR that I packed it in her computer bag, but when she got home to unpack it, it was GONE. SERIOUSLY GONE. Very frustrating since there is no one to blame it on.

  5. Rachel

    Have you found the lost item yet? Pray to St Anthony, the patron saint of lost things… I’m not Catholic, so I don’t know the details, but I do know of several stories where praying to him helped locate lost items!

  6. For Christmas, Nate got me an electronic key finder. It’s got a sensor that goes on my key ring and a remote that causes the sensor to beep so I can find my keys. The remote is clipped on to our mitten/hat/scarf basket. Best gift ever!

  7. Melissa

    Oh dear, I’m on the other side of this problem! My husband (also a Chris) loses things constantly. It’s not necessarily that he loses them, it’s generally that he’s just left them behind. So now, every morning I wave him off to work with this, “Bye sweetie! Got your keys? your phone? your laptop? your wallet? Have a good day, love you!” However, when he really loses something, it drives me nuts, and this is going to sound really petty, but here goes: I seriously resent having to spend 20-30 minutes, or more!, of my free time helping him find something that apparently wasn’t important enough to him to keep up with, but now that item is more important than my time. Hmmm, bit of a vent there! Congrats on the new purse, it’s cute!

  8. Kat

    LOL Katie….
    I lose things too…I blame pg brain. By the way – we’re still in diapers but I’m totally transitioning to a purse too! I haven’t made a new purse purchase yet but I did buy one of those cute clutches that keeps a couple of diapers and wipes in it that I can throw from one bag to another.

  9. Suzanne

    Cute purse! I have no kids yet but I’m sitting here trying to figure out how I can avoid having a diaper bag when I do have kids! HAHA

  10. Shell

    I am going to guess you lost your wedding ring….you’re not wearing it in your photo!

  11. Mae

    I hope you find your lost item soon! I still carry my diaper bag once in a while (kids are 3 and 20 months), but only when I will be out for a while and will be transitioning out of it soon. I usually just transfer a medium sized wristlet that is basically my wallet, but also has chapstick and eye drops and my cell into whatever bag I’m using. I do tend to carry a big purse in general so I usually just throw sippy cups and applesauce pouches in my purse for the kids.

  12. Jennie

    Hi Katie, I’m a long term lurker from the other side of the Atlantic, I love the blog and your writing. Hopefully you’ll find your lost item very soon.

    I was given a handbag organiser (like this: http://www.notonthehighstreet.com/plumandivory/product/canvas-handbag-organiser) which is great as I can just grab it out of one bag and put it in another and know that I have all my essentials in one place. Might be worth keeping an eye out for something similar? Loving your new bag, hope you enjoy it.

  13. Beth

    I don’t carry a purse at all, just a wallet that I never put in the same place twice. Same with my keys. I am loser too. I lost my “thing” too. Couldn’t find it, refused to tell husband, until one day my MIL called from 1500 MILES AWAY and said she found it in her bedroom carpet!!!!! And guess who she told first… not me

  14. Katie N.

    Please tell me the really important thing you lost in the kitchen isn’t your wedding ring! I was reading along and thought that might be the (tragic!) direction that the story was going, then I saw the picture and you are ring-less, so now I am scared!

  15. Beanie & Gracie's Nana

    You may have inherited your “loser” gene from me, Kitten. I’ve decided to give up purses altogether. I’m thinking about using a tool belt instead. Make-up in one pouch, keys in another, etc. Seems like a practical hands-free solution to me.

  16. lissa

    hahah…I’m imagining that a feminine item was lost 🙂

  17. Jaymie

    I lose everything to. I wish you could call everything you lose like you can call your phone.
    My daughter did find my wedding ring that I lost when I was pregnant with her in an old purse she was playing with. She’s now 7 so it’s been missing awhile and we recently moved. I was positive the dog ate it and pooped it in the back yard. 😉

  18. I’m a breaker. I break things all the time. This wouldn’t be so bad except that husband doesn’t think warranties are worth the cost since they are usually short-term. I’m trying to be more careful.. I’m imagining you lost your big girl camera.

  19. jenna

    I was famous for loosing my car keys in my youth, my father thought it was hilarious to exasperate the situation by tucking them into the nearest drawer. I know this will sound rude and I don’t mean it that way but macys is like target or kmart, don’t pay macy’s prices for junk.

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