Chris has been driving me crazy lately. Here is the latest in a long line of annoyances:
He called me while I was out today and said he wanted to order a pizza for lunch. It was 2:30pm and he was the only one who was hungry. So, I suggested that he fix something quick for lunch and that we all go out to a sports bar and grill for an early dinner to watch the Gator basketball game at 5:30 instead.
“Fine!” he snapped and then HE HUNG UP ON ME.
Five years ago, this would have started an epic battle.
OH, NO HE DI’N’T!
But now… Eh, I don’t really have the energy for a fight. Instead, I came home and we had the following conversation:
“Hey!” I snapped at him when I walked in the door. “If you don’t quit bothering me, I’m going to smack you upside the head!”
“Yeah? Well, you are annoying me!” he laughed back.
“Well, you’re annoying me more!” I laughed, throwing my purse playfully at him. “Quit being an ass! If you want to order a pizza, order a damn pizza!”
“Fine! I will!” he said, pinching my derrière as I walked up to him.
“Good!” And then I kissed him and went to read my book while he watched his basketball game.
In April, Chris and I will celebrate our 15 year dating anniversary. In June, we will celebrate our 9 year wedding anniversary. That’s a lot of years to annoy each other. But here’s what I’ve learned in that time together… Husbands and wives annoy each other. It happens. We get on each other’s nerves from time to time. But it’s really not worth a fight and it doesn’t mean anything bigger is going on. We just annoy each other sometimes. And that’s because our marriage is built on friendship, and our friends bother us from time to time. The real trouble begins when you let those annoyances build up and they become personal.
“He ordered that pizza behind my back just to spite me!” Now, THAT is what happens when annoyances build up and in our heads we create drama that just isn’t there.
Sometimes in marriage, you have to just call things what they are, as simple as they are.
“You are, too!”
And then you kiss and give each other some space.
Sometimes, marriage isn’t all that complicated after all.