I have been blogging for eight years. Marriage Confessions began as “Confessions of a Young, Married Couple,” way back when Chris and I were newlyweds. Chris was in graduate school, and I needed a hobby to fill the time while he was studying. For a long time, maybe the first two years, just my Grandma and a handful of readers read these silly stories about doing laundry and finding stolen moments during power outages.
I remember I had a conversation with a good friend about the struggles in her marriage, and I realized that her struggles were my struggles, too, and I wondered why no one ever told newlyweds what marriage was really like, why no one ever talked about what a shared life really looked like from the inside. I came home and talked to Chris and decided that I wanted to start sharing deeper secrets from our marriage, not because we had any answers at all, but precisely because we didn’t. I wanted to talk about those fights that kept recurring, how we learned to listen to each other, how we learned to trust each other, how we went about the messy, complicated process of building a life together. But, mostly, I wanted to write about our mistakes. The little ones and the big ones. Because, surely, we were not the only married couple making these mistakes, and maybe if someone started talking about them, then all of our marriages could improve.
And so, I did. And my readership began to grow.
Our family began to grow, too. When I became pregnant with Bean, my blog began this new journey, too. Parenting has brought more readers to this small stage than any other topic I write about. And, God bless you all, you were so supportive. I look back now at some of the things I wrote as a new parent and I cringe about how sure of myself I was about things I knew nothing about. But, in all the years I have been blogging and through all the readers I have had, I have felt loved, supported, and encouraged by this community here in my small little corner of the internets. You have loved my children, laughed with my family, cried during our losses, and celebrated our triumphs. Our family is stronger because you have been a part of it.
But the time has come, my friends. For almost a year now, I have toyed with the idea of closing the Marriage Confessions’s door. For those of you who don’t blog, that might not seem like a big decision to make. You just stop writing, right? But this silly little blog has become such a valued part of my life, and to imagine a day when I sit down at the computer with nothing to say seemed unthinkable. But, that time is upon us, I’m afraid. I will continue to post snippets of our happenings on Facebook and Instagram, so you can follow along there, if you aren’t already, but this little corner of the internet that I have called home for so many years has run its course for me.
My kids are growing up. Their schedules are becoming more time-consuming, and these years with them are becoming so very precious. I don’t want to miss a single minute. And I don’t want to feel like I’m taking pictures and remembering the funny things that happen in our lives simply so that I can report on them later. I want to be present for no other reason than because they are my family. As the kids get older, it also becomes a little harder to find stories to share about them. I never want my writing to be something they are embarrassed about. God forbid they should look back on my blog as teenagers or adults and discover I shared something really personal about their lives that they didn’t want me to share. Goodness knows they’ll probably need years of therapy for the things I’ve already written!
And my marriage is growing up, too. Chris and I are no longer newlyweds who are trying to figure things out. We’ve been richer and poorer. We’ve had sickness and health. We’ve loved and we’ve cherished. In a lot of ways, Chris and I have grown up here on this blog. And through those experiences, I’ve learned about the sanctity of marriage. I’ve learned that, much like our home, our marriage is a place where we can retreat from the rest of the world. Sometimes, we need to share funny moments between the two of us without thousands of people laughing about them, too. Sometimes, we need to work through struggles and fights without an audience of people watching. We are looking forward to sharing many new adventures together, and are excited for what is to come – whatever that may be.
All good things must come to an end, and the end has come for Marriage Confessions. I’m a mess of tears as I write this post, but it’s hard not to smile when I think about this crazy, strange, wonderful ride I’ve had here. Since my very first post, over 750,000 people have shared my journey. You’ve left over 50,000 comments in the halls of this blog. For just about every step of my adult life, you have been been by my side. And I have been and will always be truly humbled and honored by your presence here.
I am a kitchen-table writer. That is all I have ever been. Thank you for making me feel like that mattered.
Laugh. Fight. Stay Married.