Yesterday, Chris and I were out to lunch with my parents. My mom and I were running late because we had been shopping, so we agreed to meet the boys at the restaurant. When I got there, I walked up to the hostess, who I immediately noticed was about as pregnant as I was. I smiled really big, pointed to her stomach, and happily announced, “You, too?” as I grinned from ear to ear.
Well, no response if you don’t count the steam that escaped from her nostrils and ears. Clearly, this woman was NOT pregnant. Clearly, I had just committed the mother of all mistakes. Clearly, my food was going to spit in. That’s what my temperature shot up to 1,000 degrees, my face turned bright red, and I’m pretty sure that if I had been further along, I may have actually gone into labor right there in the sports bar. Trying desperately to regain my composure, I mumbled something about going to look for my family and I slid away into the crowds of food and people.
I don’t know what in the world possessed me to open my big fat (no pun intended) mouth. I am always so cautious about making pregnancy comments. In fact, unless I know the person, I usually just ignore their belly. Even if they are 9 months pregnant with triplets. You just never know, and so I err on the side of caution and I don’t say a word. It must have been because we had spent 3 hours in Babies R Us that morning, where pregnancy is a crown of glory and people wear T-shirts saying things like, “I’d rather be breastfeeding.” I just had baby on the brain and it oozed out of my mouth, unsolicited.
I didn’t think people actually made mistakes like that. I mean, I’ve heard the horror stories of humiliation, but I’ve never actually known them to happen to someone. What about you? Ever stuck your foot in your mouth and wished you could crawl in a hole somewhere? Tell me about it and make me feel better…