Happy Baby?
I get asked pretty often if Beanie is a happy baby. Usually its by people who haven’t met him. Co-workers or out of town friends. People who can’t see for themselves what his disposition is like. Its a normal question to ask. I’ve even asked people before about their kids, too.
But answering that question always makes me nervous.
Is Beanie happy? How in the world should I know?
For one thing, I think speaking on behalf of someone else’s emotions is weird. That’s like asking me if Chris is hungry. I don’t know. Ask him. But as Beanie’s mom, I guess I’m his spokesperson. If people want to know what he’s thinking, who else are they going to ask? And I understand that, but its still weird to speak on behalf of someone else. What if Beanie is miserable and here I am telling people about what a happy life he has? What if as I’m telling people how happy he is, he’s mouthing behind my back, “Save me! SAVE ME!”
What makes me nervous more than speaking on behalf of him though is what if I really don’t know? What if I have an unhappy baby and I have no clue? Before Beanie, I wasn’t around babies all that often. Or, like, ever. I don’t know what the crap a happy baby looks like! I mean, he laughs. He smiles. He babbles. He plays. He cuddles. It certainly LOOKS like happiness.
But he also cries. He whines. He yells. He meltdowns. He wimpers.
Does a happy baby do all those things, too? Or is a happy baby just happy ALL the time? Or is a happy baby happy MOST of the time?
Oh, man! The labels! The labels are killing me! Happy baby. Fussy baby. Nervous baby. Smart baby. Everyone wants Beanie to fit into a label. But what if he doesn’t? I mean, he’s not fussy all the time, but he can throw a rock star temper tantrum. He’s not nervous all the time, but he is starting to pause just a split second before going to a stranger. He’s not smart all the time (did I mention the pooing in the bathtub?), but he occasionally reads Socrates out loud.
I think my baby is just a Bean. He’s a lot of things in one itty bitty package. I feel better saying that about him than I do assigning him to one mood and calling that his personality. So, maybe the next time someone asks me if he’s a happy baby, I’ll think a little harder before I answer.
“Today Bean is happy. Yesterday Bean was fussy. Tomorrow Bean may be nervous. But he’s my Bean every day and that’s what makes him special.”
Although, Beanie may die of embarrassment right on the spot if I go around talking like that. So, I’ll probably still smile and still say something generic like, “Oh, yes. Beanie is fat and happy!”
But inside, I’ll know. A mother always knows.
(Check out the latest Beancast today over at The Bean.)
14 Comments
Lori at I Can Grow People
Wow–Beanie is flexible!
Katie, how long is Bean now? He just looks so much longer/taller than Porter–but that could be because Porter is Chubbs Magee at the moment. Or because Aaron and I are short.
Danimezza
Oh I agree, I get asked this a lot too. I just say he’s feeding really well and he’s a pretty cruisey baby. Seriously I can imagine him sitting on the beach, strumming his guitar whilst casually writing a novel. Relaxed/Creative/Serious. A baby is so many things but most of all they’re wonderful.
TeamHaynes
Eh, I’d say he’s happy. That is according to what I see of the pictures. I think if he’s content sucking on his foot, he’s a pretty chill baby.
Whitney
LOVE this. I feel the same way. Ya know, there are labels to everything and quite frankly it’s annoying. Nothing is the same everyday! Today, Levi was happy. Tonight, he was not.
Kara
That’s a better answer, believe me! Because if you tell someone he is fat and happy then undoubtedly that’s the person Bean will throw a tantrum in front of to prove you wrong. No baby is happy all of the time! Bean is perfect being Bean and being label-free.
Jessica @ How Sweet It Is
Ohmigosh he is so stinkin’ cute. That’s all I’d label him as! 🙂
Jess F.
He looks happy to me 🙂
Mindee@ourfrontdoor
I had three babies. One was decidedly UNhappy. One was like Bean – he had good days and bad ones. Just like all of us.
Then I had my third and I knew the joy of Happy Baby. She did not cry. She smiled, she cooed, she snuggled. She occasionally whimpered when uncomfortable but that was it, I swear. Until she was 11 months old and started exerting her will she was just happy all the time.
So I quit having babies because I knew that I’d never get that lucky again. 🙂
Kate
Did you know that your little Bean is doing the yoga pose called “Happy Baby” in that top picture? I’d say that clears things up. Not only is he a Happy Baby, but he’s a yogi at such a young age!
Casey
Bean is a lucky baby. Because he has a momma that cares so much about him!
Laura
Yeah, I never know what to say either. I was never really around babies before Cam. I’m always like “Uhh, I guess so.” Makes for a really awkward few seconds. Haha!
Hilary
Yeah, I ran into the “good baby” question a lot. “Is she a good baby?” Well, she hasn’t stolen a car or beaten anyone up (besides her father which she does on a nightly basis which is pretty hilarious). I like to think of her as her own little person. If she was happy all the time, I might start to worry that she had some kind of personality disorder. I mean, who’s happy ALL the time?? Sometimes it’s healthy to get mad or cry or just blow off some steam even for babies! Sounds like Bean is doing just peachy!
Laura
This is interesting.
I don’t spend alot of time around wee ones, but a few of my good friends have babies. I’d actually say that you would know if Bean was an unhappy baby. One friend’s baby is quite serious and sullen, and very unimpressed with people trying to make him smile, giggle and carry on like he’s at Disney. I wouldn’t call him “sad”, but I also wouldn’t say he’s particularly happy. They have a hard time getting a photo of the baby smiling (and he’s 11 months old!).
However, my other friend’s baby is quite happy and contented. Sure, she whines and has her fair share of days, but she also cracks smiles, sucks on her feet with a look of glee and pees in the bath with gusto!
I think there’s just something about their little personalities, because both of my friends are excellent, attentive mothers.
That’s my two cents 🙂
Alicia
I would say that the only time the happy baby question needs any thought is when you and Chris are ready to start using a babysitter. I babysit babies/toddlers a lot and I always try to find a tactful way to ask about the child’s disposition before I take a new client. I’m not necessarily weeding out “unhappy babies,” but just wanting honest answers. I have had parents who said they are prompt, their babies are so so happy, and go to sleep right on time with no trouble right at 8:30, only to find out the parents come home two hours late, the baby needs to be rocked in several positions for about an hour, and routinely goes to bed at 10:30 or 11. If a babysitter is good and likes children they will not be scared off by the truth, they will simply be prepared. Lucky for you, the Bean seems laid back, and you aren’t the type of person to leave someone unprepared with lies and plans to ditch your family for hours longer than planned. 🙂