I have noticed a few disturbing trends in Bean’s preference of toys the last few weeks. And as a concerned parent, I thought I would air my anxiety for you all to judge.
It started with this medicine dropper that I use to give Bean Benedryl. Since we have moved to Florida, he hasn’t needed Benedryl once. But when we lived in Connecticut, the kid was sick all the time. Part of it was the cold weather and part of it was that he was in daycare. It seemed like he lived on Benedryl. And I knew there was a little problem when I would pull out the rubber medicine dropper and Bean would squeal with delight.
So, one afternoon when I couldn’t get Bean to stop yelling profanities at me because I had the nerve to birth him without any teeth, I reached out to grab the nearest anything that Bean could chew on. What my hand landed on was the rubber medicine dropper from the Benedryl. Bean loved it. He chewed on that thing for HOURS. Sure, it looked a little weird for a baby to be gnawing on a medicine dropper, but whatever it took to appease the teething beast was what I was sticking with.
But then Bean found the same kind of rubber tip on the baby Tylenol bottle. This was my fault again. I was changing Bean’s diaper one afternoon and he was crying and I reached around for something to give him to play with and distract him and I ended up handing him a bottle of infant Tylenol. He went straight for the rubber dropper and started chewing. I knew it was wrong to give my baby a bottle of medicine to chew on, but if you are judging me right now then CLEARLY you have not met my child when he is teething and possessed by the Devil.
But then it happened again.
A few weeks ago when I was at my sister’s wedding and had that little blip in the ambulance and emergency room, the doctors prescribed me two pain killers and a muscle relaxer. Which I never took. I have really bad reactions to most medication, so anything really strong is just terrible for me and I try to avoid taking them. That meant I had these three really full prescription bottles. And Bean loves to shake things. And these bottles full of pills shake perfectly. And the bottles are small, so they fit in his grubby little paws.
Now, individually, each of these things doesn’t seem TOO horrific. I mean, its not an example of A+ parenting or anything, but I think they each are fairly understandable. Especially if you’ve been a parent to a viciously teething child.
But there have been signs that I have perhaps started my child down the wrong path.
Every time Bean sees a bottle of pills, infant Tylenol, or a medicine dropper, he starts flailing around and squealing like a kid on Christmas morning. Very hard to explain to strangers.
Bean is the only child on the playground who brings muscle relaxers to play with.
So, we have cut the medication utensils out of Bean’s life cold turkey now. No more prescription pain killer bottles. No more Tylenol rubber stoppers. No more medicine droppers. Nadda.
Because the way I see it, there is a 50/50 chance that this might indicate Bean becoming a doctor one day. But there is also a 50/50 chance that he might become a pill popper. So. You know. Probably best to just nip this in the bud.