My First Day as a Stay At Home Mom: FAIL
Today was my first day as a stay at home mom.
Holy crap.
That’s pretty much all I have to say about that.
Holy crap.
Let me start this post by saying that I do plan to go back to work. Eventually. When someone decides to hire me. But that’s probably at least a couple months away and so for now, I’m relishing these first new days as a stay at home mom. I’ll take them for as long as I can get them.
Howeva’… Holy crap.
It is NOT FREAKING EASY staying home! I know its just my first day and its not like I don’t know what to do or how to do it or when to do it. Its just that things have a very different speed than I thought they would. I initially thought that this time home with Bean would be time for me to get some things done. Maybe I’d write a little more. Maybe I’d get ALL the packing done. Maybe I’d do ALL the laundry in one day. I thought about how much I could accomplish in a workday and my head reeled at the ideas of what I could accomplish in a full day at home.
Let’s just say that I didn’t know what the hell I was thinking.
Bean woke up at 5:30 AM and I went into his nursery to get him up for breakfast only to find that he had pooped. ALL OVER HIMSELF.
Dear Pampers, You have one job. Really just one objective. TO KEEP THE CRAP INSIDE THE DIAPER. You might want to go back and review that objective just one more time. Thanks, Katie
It took me half an hour to get him clean, change his clothes, change his sheets, and clean up his changing table. Which meant that Bean screamed for half an hour because he wanted his breakfast bottle, like, yesterday. After he calmed down and I got him a bottle, we played for a while, ate some Cheerios, and by 7:30 AM, both Bean and I took a crazy long two-hour nap.
When we woke up around 10:00, I showered and got dressed for the day and I decide to get some blogging done. Bean, however, decided that he didn’t want to be put down. He didn’t want to sit next to me. He didn’t want to sit near me. He didn’t want to sit in the same room as me. Bean wanted to sit ON me. In my lap. And nowhere else. And in case you haven’t tried it, it is virtually impossible to do anything involving a computer with a nine month old baby on your lap.
Particularly a nine month old baby who likes to bang on things.
Finally, I gave up on trying to do anything online and played with Bean. Within half an hour, I had run out of games and songs and Bean became tired and bored with every single toy in our house. Nothing we had could entertain him. It was only 11:30 and I was out of ideas. So, I did the only logical thing I could think of.
I threw Bean in the car and we went to Target to buy more toys.
I came home with this. It is an activity table for babies. They had a ton of them at Target in all different brands, ranging anywhere from $20.00 up to $60.00. But since this was an unbudgeted trip to Target for baby toys that I knew Chris would insist we did not need, I went with the cheapest one. The Target brand for $19.99.
Seemed like a good idea at the time. And you know how I feel about Target and all things Target, so for me to say that I don’t like a Target brand item, you know there has to be good reason behind it.
For one thing, the sound doesn’t have a volume control or an OFF button. So, whenever you hit something, you go deaf. It even started driving Bean and Molly crazy after a while.
And that’s when Bean got frustrated and started throwin’ stuff around trying to get the stupid thing to just BE QUIET…
Which brings me to my next critique… It isn’t very sturdy. It is really light, so it flips over easily. Bean Man can even pick it up, spin it over his head, and hurl it across the house.
Okay, so not really.
But he can flip it over really easily.
Chris and Bean spent a good part of an hour trying to figure out how to take the darn thing apart. They broke one of the activities on the tabletop and then they got in trouble for picking apart the new toy.
And the last issue I have with the table is that it is really short. The one they had at Bean’s daycare was a little taller, so babies could pull themselves up to standing. But this one is too short for Bean to pull himself up on. We have to stand him up and then he can hold on and balance. It needs to be just a tiny bit taller and more stable so that it can be used as something for Bean to pull up on. Now when he tries, he either flips the table over (not good) or he can’t get a grip high enough to get himself up. Which means he sits next to it moaning until I stand him up (also not good).
All in all, it was probably exactly what I deserved. You can’t keep a kid entertained by buying him stuff every time he gets bored. I get that now. And you also can’t expect a cheap version of an expensive toy to be as fun and entertaining. However, for about half an hour, Bean was quiet and entertained and happy. So, in my brand spankin’ new stay at home mom book, that’s worth $19.99.
27 Comments
Elle
Ohhhh… I so feel your pain. I just wrote a blog post about being a SAHM, too. Great blog.
Nate's Mom
My first day as a stay at home mom was very similar. I had dreams of conquering the world, and wound up accomplishing nothing…except for caring for every one of my wee babe’s needs. It’s taken me a long time to adjust my expectations, and now that I’m working from home with Nate, it’s been a new learning curve again.
And the Pampers issue? That’s precisely why we switched to the Costco diapers. Kirkland brand diapers. Super cheap, nice design, and we’ve never had a blowout! Saves me money and messes – I’ll take it!
Can’t wait to hear about day 2! 🙂
Danielle Melnyczenko @ danimezza.com
My husband didn’t understand why we get bored… until I told him that he was a single parent all of Saturday and to not wake me, to deal with whatever issues came up and to get the laundry and dishes done and keep the house tidy.
He lasted 3 hours.
Being a SAHM not as easy as I imagined it being but it’s pretty rewarding. Steve misses out on a lot of the small things Aidan learns daily since he’s at work and I feel very lucky that we’re in a financial situation that allows me to stay at home. Some days the chores don’t get done and some days all they do is nap and you gets heaps done… only to have it undone hours later. Time management and a routine is the only thing that keeps me sane. You’ll find your groove.
Oh and I put Aidan in his high chair if I need to get online. He chews on rusks, chews on books and bangs his toys on the tray. He’s at the same height as me so he likes it. Considering buying a super cheap keyboard off ebay for him lol.
Mindee@ourfrontdoor
I remember the little old ladies in the grocery store stopping me to say, “Cherish these days – they go so quickly.”
I wanted to grab them by the shoulders and shake them and yell, “Really???? Because this particular day has been three weeks long!”
Liz, JM, Leo, and Rosie
Ha ha ha! OH, I’ve had a few of those!!!!
Lori @I Can Grow people
When Aaron was away for a gig in Sarasota last week, P wanted to sit ON me whenever we were together. It drove me nuts. I also tried to distract him with a new toy from Target–a set of Fisher-Price musical bongo drums. Cute, not too expensive, not too annoying, complete with volume control and OFF button. I highly recommend them!
Mom of 3
A trick to keep in mind for future annoying toys- you can put masking tape over the speaker to muffle the volume some. While you are able to stay at home in Florida, at least you can take him for a walk everyday, since the weather is almost always accommodating. To stay sane as a SAHM you need to find a playgroup of some sort. Our public library has a wonderful story time a few times a week for kids of all ages. They also have puzzles and toys. I think one of the hardest parts of staying at home is that you can go all day and never speak to another adult. When my kids were Bean’s age I would talk my husband’s ear off when he got home simply because I hadn’t had any real conversation all day.
Good luck getting anything done with a baby/toddler in the house. Honestly, it doesn’t get much easier as they get older.
P.S. I live in central Florida and I think you are going to love it!
Liss
I see I’m not the only one! I’ve been at home with my boy since he was born, and he’s 7 months now, and often I just have NO IDEA what to do with him. Especially now that he’s at the stage where he wants to go everywhere, but can’t yet. Not happy sitting with me, alone, in his various chairs…
When I just need to get things done, I take him around the house with me so he can play and watch whatever I’m doing. And when I hang clothes on the line, we hang outside and play for a while.
I try to appreciate this baby time, and I do like being able to stay at home with him. But sometimes, there’s only so many hours a day I can rattle a toy and make funny noises before my poor adult brain just wants to run away.
Megan
Oh yea…and if at the end of the day…you are alive…your baby is alive…everyone has eaten and the diaper is clean…you didn’t fail. You passed with flying colors!
🙂
Beth
My daughter turns 1 on Friday and I STILL don’t have enough activities to make it through the day! We run back and forth across the house chasing the dogs four or five times and that definitely seems to help.I also put on music because Savannah loves to sing and dance…that allows me to get some stuff done around the house while allowing her to be right next to me.
I take college classes online so I struggle with the computer issue daily as well. My fix: one of the little laptops for kids from Target. The one for 3-6 year olds has buttons that light up so it keeps her entertained more than the one for infants. She can bang that thing around as much as she wants and it still hasn’t broken. And…it was only $20! Don’t worry, the money you save from daycare will be worth all the frustration you are feeling in the beginning!
Megan
It’s so refreshing to hear a working mom say that being a SAHM mom is hard. I’m a SAHM and have stayed home since Q-Tip was born. I tend to have a case of the June Cleaver Syndrome that I have to work on regularly. Otherwise…I feel like a total loser and want to crawl in a hole until she is 25.
It is hard! It’s hard emotionally! It’s hard mentally! It’s hard to get anything accomplished aside from teaching her the ABC’s etc. It’s just freakin hard!!
Thanks so much for telling the rest of the world!
🙂
http://reddirtandcrazy.blogspot.com/
Sara
Pretty much sounds how my day went too! I work at home a couple days a week and try to watch my 5 month old baby boy. Today he didn’t want to be put down ANYWHERE that wasn’t my lap. So by about 2:00 I’d had enough fussy baby and we got in the car and headed to buy him a new toy at Babies R Us. LOL. He liked the toy in the store, but decided after we got home that he’d rather be with mommy some more. I am absolutely exhausted – babies are hard work! P.S. – Just started reading your blog. Love it, and your little guy is so cute!
katrina
It is tough! Men have no idea! =) I thought it was going to be so easy staying home all day with my little man, but it really isn’t!
Krista
Really tough job! I am a SAHM to a 5 year old and almost 2 year old. I have been home since my 5 year old was 10 months. I hated to leave him. We go to target to get out. We have a routine that daddy doesn’t know about (it involves starbucks and/or popcorn) when we go. I love it, but some days are 3 weeks long. Enjoy the time and then when you do go back to work, you’ll be ready for adult conversation and work that doesn’t revolve around poop and food. I work part time from home and get down right giddy when I get to go into the office and switch roles with my hubby. Don’t expect to do anything that doesn’t have to do with keeping you and Bean happy. Anything else you accomplish in the day is a bonus :o)
Caitlin
Not a fail! Just a learning experience! It’s amazing how much harder staying at home is than the actual working part of working.
You’ll get into a routine, just like you had to get him to daycare. If you get bored again, check out the Rookie Mom’s site. I have their book and its all quick activities to do with babies of various ages.
Good luck!
Liz, JM, Leo, and Rosie
OK – Here are some ideas for someone who’s been there done that. You can’t stay home and shake rattles all day – it does get old! Plus, you need to get stuff done – with that sweet bothersome baby in tow :).
1) Use your Ergo around the house and sing and bounce Bean around on your back while you do dishes, laundry, vacuum, etc… If he doesn’t like it at first, keep trying to get him to hang out in it for an hour or so – he’ll adjust. You can also set a laptop up on a counter and bounce him to sleep on your back while you blog or whatever. It’s not relaxing for you, but if you need to work on something – you can.
2) Take him for a walk every day if you can – no matter the weather (unless it’s pouring rain, in which case, drive to the mall). It’ll make you both feel great to get out of the house and it’s great exercise. Wear him on your back for extra calorie burn :).
3) Sit him in his highchair and give him random household items to play with – no need to buy new toys :). Or give him water in a cup to play with or splash on his highchair tray. He’ll love you forever.
4) Give him uncooked rice on your kitchen floor with some containers to play with. Or a roll of toilet paper and let him go crazy. I guarantee that 20-30 minutes of free time will make the clean up totally worth it. JM hates when I do this because of the waste – but it works in a pinch and is cheaper than a new toy.
3) Work during his morning nap and nap with him in the afternoon. This helped me accomplish things as well as stay rested.
4) Put away some toys and rotate them in and out to keep them fresh for Bean. This way you don’t have to keep buying new. Babies are forgetful. Use this to your advantage.
5) Dinnertime – give him anything safe on the floor to play with while you cook. Pots, pans, ladles, etc. Also – clear out a cupboard for his kitchen stuff and when he wants to ‘play’ with you while you make dinner, direct him to his stuff. You can also wear him if he wants to be held. Or just hold him and cook – it can be done.
6) Get out: Go to the library, go for walks, go to the park, go to the mall, find a playgroup, whatever. It’s boring to be at home all the time. For both of you! Go to Target and make an event out of it even if all you buy is a pretzel. You can even go to the toy section and just play without buying.
7) Build a routine for yourself – I plan each week out on Sunday and have a general idea of how I’d like the week to look. This helps us have a rhythm and keeps me from feeling like every day is the same.
8) Try to get your shower in at night or early in the am. Otherwise valuable naptime is wasted showering when you could be alert and accomplishing something else.
9) When you’re tired, just do what you gotta do. Don’t worry about your routine, or what you think you MUST do. Just relax and live. And enjoy the fact that you’re not at work staring at an expense report in dress clothes, but rather you’re at home in yoga pants staring at a drooling pile of cuteness.
It’s nice to have a change, isn’t it? I like that I’ve worked and I’ve stayed at home… and now I’m at home again while Rosie is so small and it’s really nice again. Enjoy this time at home. 🙂
Michelle, Mom of Henry (10m)
Hey Katie! Okay, you are doing SO much better than I did at first! Being a SAHM can be challenging, but seriously, it’s so rewarding and it has totally pluses. Just give yourself permission to relax, not be on a schedule and do whatever impulsive move comes your way. Henry and I love walks, neighbor visits, shopping trips where we buy nothing (load up a cart at target and then not buy 7/8s of it!). Also, a little tip- anything in your kitchen that won’t hurt bean will be amazing to play with. I gave Henry three sets of measuring cups this morning and he was in hog heaven for 15 minutes. You’ll get REAL creative as a SAHM. Also, practice climbing the stairs with him. It will WEAR HIM OUT. Hello nap time! Good luck! Also, I have another friend who is moving to Orlando with a little boy who is just a year- her husband got transferred. She’s moving in 2 weeks- name is Kilene. I’m going to have her contact you because she’ll be looking for a playgroup and mommy friends. Her and her husband are amazing and so sweet (little boy is Cooper). But I’m sure you will do fine with friends! 🙂 Best of luck and LOVE reading about your SAH adventures. Totally diggin’ it.
Casey
Liz has some really great ideas! I hope you get into a good routine with the Bean 🙂
Lizzie
WOW! hearing all these ideas for a SAHM is giving me plenty of things to look forward to.. kind of!
I should start a book now in my young years (I’m only 17) so that when I am able to stay at home with my bebe I know what the heck I am doing.
Thanks for sharing! I appreciate it so much!!
Ginny
I love the camo jacket… whoever got that for him must be the best aunt ever! 🙂 Also, try taking him for a walk in the great outdoors. The weather is awesome lately here.
Sarah
I just started as a SAHM last week, though I got laid of ’cause my Co. is in trouble. It is a big change, I had been home with her for a while when she was a baby but it is harder now that she doesn’t nap as much!
Have you tried storytime at the local library? I took her today and she seemed to like it–free entertainment and learning, bonus.
Now that it is nice the playground is good too, I took her there yesterday, and she had a great time. I know Bean is still young (my munchkin is 18 mo) but he would probably still like being pushed in the baby swings and if there aren’t any other kids you can hold him down the slide.
Good luck!
Margaret
Yeah, the days can get pretty long. You really start to look forward to the husband coming home. I’ve been putting Ez on the floor, though, and leaving him through the first whimper. If he really doesn’t calm down he gets lap time, otherwise we just switch rooms and I carry him around for it. Usually his clinginess is correlated to how tired he is, so I try to get him down for a nap. Other times it doesn’t work and I know it’s time to go out and get coffee! The days won’t all be the same, though – tomorrow’s a new one! Good luck!
Julie
I felt so guilty that we didn’t have as many toys as the daycare when we started staying home, right before Christmas. There has never been a Christmas like that before, let me tell you we went insane!!
Katie
That is EXACTLY what it is!! I look around and it just looks so BORING at our house compared to the toys and activities and people at daycare. I’m sure I’ll get over it and Bean will get used to the new routine, but it does make me feel guilty.
Kristin
Can’t Molly help you? 😉
Sheila
It’s a hard adjustment! It does really help to get out of the house for a bit, even if its just driving around for awhile.
And my daughter LOVED this table, and still uses it 2 years later…. (you might be able to find it cheaper online). seriously, it would go a long way in distracting her for a shower or meal prep!
http://www.amazon.com/LeapFrog-Learn-Groove-Musical-Table/dp/B000ETRENI
Meghan
We loved the Leap Frog Learn and Groove table; it is so sturdy that it lasted through a lot of use with our first, and our second is using it now. We tried to “think ahead” when purchasing certain equipment and toys with our first—we knew we’d have a second baby, and we figured it was better to spend a little more upfront and use stuff for two kids than buy cheaper and potentially have things break, not work right, etc.