The Sweetest Reason for Divorce
The other morning at 7:30, Bean came toddling into my bedroom. He had his two golf clubs with him, as always, and he used them to poke me awake. Then he broke into his big ol’ giggle and started holding his arms (and golf clubs) out to be picked up. I pulled him into bed with me and we snuggled and laughed and I hid from him while Bean swatted around with his clubs.
Super sweet, right?
WRONG.
Absolutely not sweet.
In fact, this is grounds for divorce in my marriage and Bean is merely a pawn.
See, Chris and I take turns getting up with Bean every day. Bean gets up at 7:00 on the dot every morning and we alternate who is going to get up with him, change his diaper, get his breakfast, and feed the dogs. It’s a whole routine. And while one person does it, the other person gets an extra half hour or so of sleep.
So, what’s all the fuss?
Well, lately, Chris has been sending Bean into my bedroom to wake me up. He says it’s cute. It’s sweet. Bean loves me. Blah, blah, blah. I don’t care. I don’t care how cute he is, he’ll still be cute when I wake up in half an hour.
And yet this is the perfect crime because what exactly can I accuse Chris of in this situation? Think about it. Any argument I try sounds ridiculous:
“Why did you bring the baby in to see me?”
“I don’t want to see the baby right now!”
“Take the baby away!”
See? All of those make me sound like a jerk. So, Chris gets to sit back and watch while I simultaneously love and hate this new morning ritual.
Now, it’s true that I am not completely innocent in this. In fact, I was the one that created this game. I used to send Bean in to wake up Chris on the weekends when he slept past 9:00. I mean, we had things to do. Places to be. And Chris needed to get his arse up. But I would like to argue before the court that that situation is very different than using that tactic at 7:30am on a weekday when I had only an extra 15 minutes or so of sleep.
Chris and I have never argued about this before because of the aforementioned complaints making us sound ridiculous, but we do smile sweetly to each other and say, “Isn’t it sweet? I loved when you made him wake me up yesterday like this.”
Did you get that? That subtle hint of a complaint in there?
THIS HAS GOT TO STOP.
So, today before God and Internet Land, I am declaring a truce, Chris. I will keep Bean out of the bedroom while you are sleeping and you need to keep him out of the bedroom when I am sleeping. No matter what. It’s the right thing to do, my love.
Because I would hate to file for divorce on the grounds that my husband forced me to snuggle with my child.
25 Comments
Jessica @ How Sweet
But he’s sooo cute!
Hahaha I can totally see how that would be a pain. Yes, he still will be as cute at 7:30. But… I can offer to come get him up at 7 so you can both sleep in. That is a LOT of sleeping in for me since I wake up at 4:30!
Kristin
Hilarious!!!!!!!!!
Liss
This is a (very cute) problem in our house, too!
Keri
Awwww how precious. Now I have to deal with my ovaries screaming at me “WE WANT A BABY! WE WANT A BABY!” for the next 24 hours. Your son is just too amazingly adorable for words. I want your problem!!!!!
By the way, your bed looks so fluffy and comfortable.
Katy @MonsterProof
Ha! We actually do the same thing…with the dog. But, she gets up at 5 FRICKIN 30 (ok that’s my fault since it’s when I go to the gym during the week), and when she comes to wake us up, there’s no gentle nuzzle, kind lick, or soft bark…it’s 75 pounds of German Shepherd landing on top of you. OOF!
Jen @ Life with Jen and Ronnie
I’m cracking up laughing! Hope your truce works. I mean, clearly golf clubs should not be allowed in the bedroom!
Katie
Hahahaha!!! This is too funny, but sooo true! I can definitely relate to this seeing as how this has happened to me many times before. It is actually a very bittersweet experience. You love seeing you child first thing in the morning, but you’d rather be looking at the insides of your eyelids. And yes, there is really to argument to justify it – damn it! Good luck with the truce! If the truce doesn’t work, I’ll pray you don’t get clobbered with golf clubs instead. =)
Alaina
ha, that’s too funny…I agree, golf clubs should not be allowed in the bed. Anything that can cause blunt force trauma is a bad idea in my book 🙂
Jen at Cabin Fever
Oh I completely understand. My husband and I do that with our dogs (because we don’t have kids yet). If one of us wakes up early we sneakily open the bedroom door and let the dogs run in happily bounding and wagging and ready to play. Its the same form of torture 🙂
Hopefully he agrees to the truce!
Cabin Fever in Vermont
Mindee@ourfrontdoor
If Rich was sleeping to long to suit me, I used to send kids in with squishy, stinky diapers to wake up Rich with the instructions, “God sit on dadddy’s head!”
There are worse weapons than golf clubs.
Jordy
Even though your problem is so dang cute (and looks so grown up!), I too value every extra minute of sleep. Do you send Bean in to Chris on HIS mornings? Maybe you should try that out…since it’s so cute and all. 🙂
Alyssa
Maybe I read this wrong…do you both sleep in separate rooms? (as in you and Chris?). If so, that’s a really popular thing to do these days. You should write something on it (unless you already did and I missed it 🙂 My husband and I have done it before on occasion and it really does help our sleep- especially when one of us is sick or one of us isn’t going to be home til really late.
Erin
I am still stuck on the fact the Bean sleeps until 7am..my 1 yr old is up at 6am on the dot.
I will say my husband made me feel super guilty when I told him that all I wanted for mother’s day was to sleep in. His response was “so on mother’s day all you want is to not be a mother?”…um not exactly, but I would like to postpone being a mother until a more reasonable hour:)
Window On The Prairie
Awwwww….what a cutie. http://windowontheprairie.com/ Suzanne
Cho
I love Bean’s expressions in the pics, sooo adorable and cute.
Allyson
7 o’clock?!?!? you complain about 7am!?!?! i would kill for 7. instead, i usually get 5:15. sometimes earlier from both my girls. and one of them can get out of bed herself. yippee!
Jen C
My husband does the same thing with our puppy. He thinks its cute to let him in the bedroom at 5am when its my turn to sleep in.
off topic question: how do you sleep in your wedding rings? i ended up scratching my hubby on his face before a job interview with my rings while i was sleeping. they have been banished from the bed
Katie
Oh my gosh! I’m right there with you! It’s hard to be mad with that baby’s adorable smile in your face… but man do I love my sleep.
Jessica
My husband does the same thing with our dog. I always let him sleep in and take the dog for a walk, etc. But if he gets up with him he has to bring him in to wake me up. I love my dog and all, but I enjoy sleeping in. Not quite as bad as a sweet baby waking me up, but I feel your pain. 🙂
Carrie T
My husband is an early riser and he always wakes me up. Angers me like no other. That extra 15 mins are the best!!! If we had a cute cuddly kid then I probably would have to get out of bed and not go back to bed once the hubby leaves.
Coco
omg, I totally get it. That would drive me crazy too! It sound)s like something my husband would do (if we had a kid, of course!
Heather M
Stick to your guns – the demands of your husband and extremely cute baby Bean are unrealistic!!! You need your sleep! 😉
Marcy
My husband would do this exact thing… he even had a whole song he would sing as he sent our son in to wake me up– “On va deranger la mere!” (French for “we’re going to go bug mom!”)
He doesn’t do it as much anymore. ; )
Sarah
So, in *my* house, as long as I send “the baby” to wake “the hubby” with bacon in tow, all is forgiven 🙂
Megan
Ahhh yes, yes, yes…I am all too familiar with this game!! Farm Boy does this to me and I am stuck with the same exact LACK of argument…because really, what do you say to your baby being excited to see you?! But I’m on to him…I just haven’t quite decided how to handle it…ohh but I will.
🙂
Megan
http://reddirtandcrazy.blogspot.com/