The Sacrificial Laundry Wench
Laundry is my nemesis.
It’s like the house guest that just won’t leave.
I stumble over it. Climb over it. Cry over it.
And, yet, it continues to sit there in gigantic piles and taunt me.
I know what the problem is, too. It’s my laundry room. And I’m using the term “room” here very loosely. See, in this house, our laundry room is outside in the garage. Which means that in order for me to do laundry, I have to leave the air conditioned interior of my house and step out into the Hades that is Orlando in the Summertime.
Once outside, the conditions are bleak.
Oh, how I loathe doing laundry outside. For one thing, I have to pass this pile of miscellaneous crap that has accumulated in our garage. I keep asking Chris to get rid of the pile because I am 100% convinced there is a family of boa constrictors living under it and every time I have to walk past it to get to the washing machine, I high step like an idiot so that I don’t get attacked.
(For the record, I should state here that I have never actually seen a snake anywhere near our garage or this pile of crap. But I can FEEL their presence…)
The other thing I am scared of in the laundry room is this cabinet. The doors don’t close all the way and so every time I go out to do the laundry, I throw the doors open to make sure no snakes/lizards/bugs/creatures of the dark have crawled up in there waiting to attack me when I’m doing my whites.
(I should note again for the record that I have never actually found a snake/lizard/bug/creature of the dark in this cabinet. But I can FEEL their presence…)
The only saving grace about this laundry room is that the washer and dryer are without a doubt the best washer and dryer I’ve ever had. Ever. EVER.
I would guess that they are approximately 1,000 years old, but that doesn’t seem to matter. The washer can handle any load size. Seriously. I can put a bajillion towels in that sucker and it’ll squeaky clean every single things in there. But the dryer is the mother load. That baby can dry any load, any size in about 20 minutes flat. It’s amazing. A domestic miracle, I tell you. If it weren’t for these two miraculous machines, our family would be forced to become a nudist family.
So, I brave the heat, I take on the pile of imaginary snake infested crap, I conquer the Cabinet of Death in order to keep my family clothed. I’m like the Sacrificial Laundry Wench.
Someone should really build me a monument. Perhaps a bronzed pile of laundry with a statue of me standing on top of it, holding a laundry basket in all my glory.
Yes. Yes, I believe that would do.
28 Comments
Katy @MonsterProof
Bean should escort you with his golf club of death! Protect you from those nasty creatures.
Jessica @ How Sweet
I barely do laundry as it is, but if mine was outside there would be NO WAY I’d do it.
Diana @ A Little Bit of Life
The old washers are the best out there. My new on crapped out on me right after the warranty was up and I bought an old Kenmore for $20 at a thrift store. That machine is a beast and is still going strong three years later.
PS I live in Central Florida too, right next to a retention pond, so my fear is of stepping on a toad whenever I venture out since our yard is overrun with them!
Kate
*sigh* oh how I miss my old washer & dryer … I have super tiny Italian ones that take 2.5 hours for one load. And everything comes out wet & pilly.
Funny how the small things are enough to prevent us from doing things we didn’t want to do anyway.
(Thanks for making me laugh this morning 🙂
Alaina
Dude, I think you’re totally justified in fearing the snakes and lizards in your garage, what with your snake encounter on mother’s day and your lizard friend. Me, personally, I’d be in fear of spiders. Our laundry room is this closet thing right in front of our garage door. I can’t wait until the day when I have a room for it instead of a small teeny tiny space in the way of everything.
Jennifer
I don’t mind doing laundry, what I do mind is folding the clothes, and spending the time folding them only to have my husband leave them on the couch all week rather than put them away where they belong.
Laura
I just love you. This post made me laugh. Too funny!
I wish our old washer and dryer were as efficient as yours. I’m afraid we will have to get new ones at tax time next year though.
Lee Ann
Laundry woes come and go (LOL!), depending on my living situation. But the absolute worst has to be using a “laundrymat,” as we call them. (Washerette, laundrette, whatever.) Invariably, they are hot, humid, and lackluster, and I just can’t help but wince every time I put my clothes into some anonymous washing machine that has washed WHO KNOWS WHAT?!?! Yuck!!
laurenbtrain
after i read the first part about yours being outside, my brain went to snakes and lizards. i would be with you – high stepping and checking every nook and cranny!
Kendra
Laundry is the worst chore that comes along with growing up. I would do the same thing with the cupboards. You just never know what might be up there and it will be the one day that you don’t look that something with slither out and scare you to pieces!
Renee
I loathe laundry. I usually never get around to folding it. It just sits in a big pile until we’ve gone through it all again. Class, I know. But the main reason I hate laundry is because our laundry machines are in the basement, and I’m just too lazy to cart my behind down there all the time, so then it becomes a huge ordeal to get it done because I have 16,000 loads to do.
Laura
I feel your pain. Our washer and dryer have ALWAYS been outside in the garage. And since we live in a super cool house, built in 1945, the garage is about 50 ft. away from the back door. Laundry in the rain is fun, so is laundry in the Panhandle in August, heat index over 100 anyone? Growing up I used to have serious fears about the axe murderer that was definitely waiting for me to go change over my loads. It’s the worst, good thing I have a lot of underwear, and only my own laundry to worry about.
Leah
hilarious. if i had to go outside to do laundry (and i KNOW i would believe in the creatures of the dark in every corner and cabinet) it just wouldn’t get done. or my husband would do it. maybe. we’d probably just buy all new underwear every week.
Jenn
I love the settings on the dryer- dry and more dry. If something is dry, how does it get dryer? I have a old washer too, and I love it.
Angela
That was so funny.
I actually don’t mind doing laundry, but mind you my laundry room is on the second floor like 3 feet away from my bedroom.
Megan (Best of Fates)
I love the word wench. I mean, when you use it. Not in weird romance book titles or when said by swarthy men at bars.
But you pull it off.
Mindee@ourfrontdoor
Your laundry “room” is not in your house? It’s in the garage? And you must brave wild life to get there?
You have just ruined any perception I had of Florida as a tropical paradise.
Also? I would wear disposable clothing.
Megan
We should start a Sacrificial Laundry Wench Association.
Although I have no wildlife aside from the occasional spider or two to combat…my laundry room is in my basement and I have to carry it down from the third floor and back up again when it’s clean and I loathe it…OHHHH how I loathe it!!
Loved this post!!
🙂
Megan
http://reddirtandcrazy.blogspot.com/
Candice
Our rental doesn’t have laundry. So once a week, I truck two hampers of laundry to my parents’ house (one town over). I did this throughout my entire pregnancy, including up until 3 days before my c-section. Now, I truck the same two hampers of laundry PLUS the baby’s laundry PLUS the baby PLUS all the stuff that goes with him (diaper bag, play mat, etc) to my parents’ house, still just once a week.
Needless to say, our next rental must have laundry or I’m not moving there.
Christina
We lived in Florida for one year and our laundry room was in the garage…you hit the nail on the head. I felt exactly the same way you do. I hated doing laundry out there. Roaches were my greatest fear. Blech. So. I feel your laundry pain. I might send you a picture of my clean laundry pile. I believe it would make you feel better. 🙂
kate
Omg! My family used to have that exact same washer and dryer. It worked for like, 16 years too until it finally started “dancing” in the laundry room( ie, the washer got off balance really easy).
Nikki
Great, now I feel bad about my clothes that are sitting upstairs waiting to be folded. The man even irons my stuff that needs to be ironed, but I still cant seem to find the enthusiasm to fold the little stuff left…Ugh I feel obligated now, thanks Katie! Great post though!
Sarah
So, my laundry is in the basement….which is quite cool…but also damp and dark and a disaster. I’ve never seen a snake or anything like that, nor do I feel their presence…but we do have silverfish….aka kajillapedes. I despise kajillapedes. I’m an out-doorsey kind of gal. I like to hike and get dirty and camp and make messes. I love digging in my garden and don’t mind dirt under my nails. I can tollerate bugs and ants and worms…more or less. But I can NOT tollerate kajillapedes.
When we first moved into our home (it’s around 60 years old), there were a lot of things that needed some attention. One of them was the window and we got them replaced within the first year of living there. But at the beginning, we had to make do. Making do meant propping some of the single pane windows with a block of wood. Well, one evening, just before bed, I went to close the window above our bed. An inch away from my hand as I reached for the wood (ok, maybe more than an inch, but not far), a kajillapede wiggled. I seriously screamed and ran out of the room.
So then, not only did I have to tell my husby that I actually screamed aloud over a bug, I totally broke the window (that we were planning to replace within the year). We had to buy a new pane of glass because I’m a total chicken dork. Thankfully he was my loving sweetie and didn’t give me (much) grief about it 🙂
Oh, and for laundry, I don’t mind doing…I don’t even mind folding…I fall down on the putting away piece of the task. We spend most of the time living out of baskets. I’m working on overcoming this…but lately I’d rather spend my time reading blogs 🙂
Heather
A couple years ago we lived in a 3-flat in Chicago, and had to go outside, down 2 flights of stairs, and then in the basement. Not fun in Chicago winters. Or in the opressive heat wave that lasted most of that summer. My biggest concern was always rats, because they ran all around everybody’s condos & in & out of the garbage dumps. Fortunately, I never saw a rat inside, but I still hurried out of there as quickly as I could.
When we moved in to our house last fall, I was determined to make our cramped little laundry area more functional. We put in a simple shelf for all of the detergents & supplies, and then hung a collapsable Ikea Grundtal drying rack up high to let clothes dry. Our washer & dryer are ancient too- gold, with cursive writing on the back panel. I think they are older than me, but they work wonderfully.
Do something to make your laundry space your own, pretty it up a bit. And when you do get an indoor laundry area again, you will appreciate it more than you ever would have without this experience 🙂
Jennifer
I hate laundry. so my husband does it 🙂 I only cook, clean, take care of the babe, bills…
Our washer finally died a few months ago…its was, are you ready, 43 years old!!! Like was a nice shage of olive green (well nice if you lived inthe 60’s). We thought it was awesome up until we got our new gas dryer. Holy smokes that thing can dry!
pamtastic
My laundry room is in the air conditioning but I still HATE doing laundry. Hate! Like with a capital “H”. I have four kids and I wish I’d have taught them “laundry skills” before I taught them how to use a fork. But I didn’t, so now I’m stuck doing it all…so I guess I’m a wench as well…carry on Sister Wench, carry on…
Ashley
As I was reading the beginning of this, I could totally relate to your laundry ‘room’ and thought, she must live in FL and low and behold we live in the same city! how ironic! I hate our laundry ‘room’ and it keeps me from doing laundry especially in the CFL oppressive heat!
Courtney
I don’t mind laundry. I hate dishes. I think you should get something to tie between the handles to keep that cabinet closed then you wouldn’t have to worry about as many creepy crawlies.