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Mom Speak

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“Don’t pick that up.”

“Where are your pants?”

“Where is your sister?”

“Where is your father?”

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“Quit biting your toenails.”

“Why aren’t you wearing a diaper?”

“Can I have my iPad back, please?”

“Don’t touch the TV screen.”

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“No, Baby Jesus did not have teeth when he was born.”

“No hitting.”

“Use gentle hands.”

“Why is Bunny in the potty?”

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“Who tied the shoelaces to Big Molly?”

“Don’t touch the presents.”

“Don’t touch the Christmas ornaments.”

“Don’t touch the nativity.”

“What happened to Joseph and Mary?”

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“Yes, Santa Claus can fly.”

“No, he doesn’t use rocket ships like Mr. Incredible.”

“Get your finger out of your nose.”

“Get your hands out of your pants.”

“Get your feet off the seat.”

“Why are you STILL not wearing any pants?”

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“Do you need a time out?”

“Do you need a hug?”

“Do you need a tickle?”

“No, those are stitches in Daddy’s hand, not a zipper.”

“Yes, your feet are stinky.”

“Where is your school bag?”

“What happened to your hair?”

“FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHERE ARE YOUR PANTS, MAN?????”

“Eat one more bite of green beans.”

“Use your words.”

“How do you ask nicely?”

“We don’t tell Mommy no.”

“If you can’t share, then you can’t play.”

“Where are my sunglasses?”

“Who has my phone?”

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“You are mommy’s best friend.”

“I love you more than peanut butter.”

“You’re my favorite person.”

“You are so smart!”

“You make Mommy so happy.”

“I love you, I love you, I love you.”

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“For the last time, go put on some pants!”

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