An Eyeball in Her Nose
Last Friday, I was sitting down to begin a training session I was attending all day for work. We had barely gotten started when my phone rang at 9:00am. It was the daycare. Never a call you want to get at work.
The voicemail was so funny that I recorded it:
I was listening to this in the back of the media center where the training was taking place, and by the time the message ended, I was laughing so hard that I had to step outside.
Seriously. My child stuck an EYEBALL up her NOSE.
When I finally stopped laughing, I called the daycare to check on her and her teacher told me that Gracie was now complaining that her nose was hurting. So, I had to leave my training session to go pick up my daughter with the EYEBALL up her NOSE and take her to the doctor.
No one tells you when you are thinking about starting a family that these are the things that will fill your day as a parent. Never heard about this predicament. Sure, I’d heard that kids stick things up their nose, but you don’t really stop to think about what getting it out of their nose will involve.
For Gracie, it involved going to the pediatrician’s office since I couldn’t see the eyeball to get it out myself. When we got to the doctor, she said she could see the eyeball up there, but it was too far for her to get it in their office. Then she did something I’ve never heard of. She gave Gracie a decongestant nasal spray. She said that it would open the nasal passages and, hopefully, the eyeball would go down and come out her mouth. It was too far for there to be hope in it coming back out her nose.
This was the moment in the conversation when I silently screamed inside my head, “WHAT. THE. *insert expletive here*” I mean, really. I was actually talking to a doctor about how to get my child to SWALLOW an EYEBALL that was stuffed up her NOSE.
Parenthood is weird, man.
The downside to this COMPLETELY BIZARRE predicament was that we had to wait for her to swallow the eyeball, which meant coming back to their office every hour to see if the eyeball was still stuck. She was going to give it a couple hours and if Gracie didn’t spit out the eyeball (SPIT OUT THE EYEBALL, Y’ALL!), then she was going to send us to an ENT and they were going to have to “tube her.” I didn’t know that “tubing her” involved, but it didn’t sound pleasant.
So, Gracie and I went out to lunch. And waited.
And waited.
And waited.
And still the eyeball was stuck.
So we waited.
And waited.
And waited.
And still the eyeball was stuck.
“One more hour,” our doctor warned. “And then it’s to the ENT.” Her major concern was that if we left the eyeball unobserved, Gracie may swallow it in the middle of the night and choke. Definitely not what we wanted. So, we waited.
And we waited.
And lo and behold, Gracie finally yelled out in a store, “MOMMY! THE EYEBALL IS IN MY MOWF!”
“That’s great, Gracie! Can you spit it out?”
“Nope,” she said happily. “I swallowed it.”
Ooooooooooof course she did.
So, for the next few days, we are on the look out for the eyeball to pass. “Keep an EYE on it!” the doctor laughed.
It’s all fun and games, lady, until YOU are the one waiting for an eyeball to stare up at you in a toilet. Laugh it up.
I do have to say that the day was pretty hysterical. Gracie cracked me up the most. She would shake her head and tell me, “Mommy! I feel da eyeball moving!” or she would say randomly, “Mommy, I smell da eyeball!” And when you asked Gracie where her eye was, she would point to her nose. I died laughing every time.
The best was talking to her in the doctor’s office, though…
You can’t make this stuff up, people. You just can’t make it up.
14 Comments
Christin
bahah! This is hilarious! We just got married and havent had kids yet but stories like these make me even more excited because you just never know what’s going to happen! Love it!
jenny-bird
Wow. Glad everything came out well in the end! Out of curiosity, how do you and Chris determine who will pick up the kids if one of them is sick…or sticks an eyeball up his or her nose. Do you have more flexibility than he does? Does it depend on how busy you or Chris are at work?
Alyssa
Hahahaha! Do you even know how many things I’ve blown out of my children’s noses?! I plug the good nostril and blow in their mouth (like CPR) and out pops the lego head, play dough, pea, pom pom. Whatever they’ve shoved up there. Gross yes, but saves me trips to the Dr, and my kids laugh and laugh when the foreign object pops out.
Michelle
This is great- I will remember it in case I come across this problem (I’m really curious to see if it works)!
Donna
My son who is now 28 did something similiar. His preschool called to say everytime he sneezed he said his ear hurt. Took him to the dr. thinking ear infection. It was a piece of foam from his “ghost buster”gun that found its way in his ear….it expanded and of course caused pain when he sneezed. Thankfully it was successfully irrigated out in one visit!
Glad Gracie is ok and will have a fun story to share one day! What a great mom you are for seeing the humor! Keep laughing and making memories…..it passes too fast!
Courtney @ The Life and Times of Me
This reminds me of the time my son stuck a pencil in his ear in Sunday School. We had to go to the ER to have it checked. Thankfully, nothing was damaged, and while it wasn’t funny at the time, we had to laugh afterward. Kids!
Rhea
Your kids are the best. I love her face when you ask why she’s there.
Priceless.
Talia Nuckolls
I had to keep kegeling to keep from peeing my pants. Soooooo hilarious. Oh, My Goodness, Katie. Such a funny story.
They other day we were all eating salmon dip and my daughter held up her finger and said Mama. I, not thinking, licked her finger off (thinking it was salmon dip) and then she said, “Mama, you just ate my booger.”
Parenting is weird!!
Nate's Mom @ Nate is Great
My favorite part of the message is the end: “I’m also not sure how accurate the information is….” Right there. That’s the hardest part of parenting. 🙂
Kristin
This is why we can’t have a third kid in my house. Can you imagine three kids doing this crazy stuff? Three kids causing you to miss work? The stress!
Bonnie B.
Hahahaha!! I love how you ASK her if she can smell it and then, when she breathes in, you say “No! Don’t do that!” Oh my god, that made me laugh. The whole thing makes me laugh, because my youngest shoved one of those teeny tiny little Bratz Dolls lipsticks in her ear and it was there for months before we knew it. And the doctor was quite proud of himself for getting it out with just warm water, too! Glad Gracie is okay.
Michelle
I do marketing for an ENT and one of the main things I mention when I got to visit a pediatrician is that we can help then when kids come in with foreign bodies stuck up their nose. One day while waiting to speak with the doctor I had to listen to some poor sweetie with a french fry stuck up there screaming bloody murder as the doc tried to get it out.
Tabs
Bahahahaha!! Oh Gracie girl… Kids are the best of crazy goodness. 🙂
Carlene
My brother stuck a dime in his nose when we were kids (he wanted to do a “magic trick” and make it appear). I was so mad that I had to miss dance class for his doctors appointment, while I was in the back seat with tweezers, I told him a long story about how the doctor was going to have to cut off his whole nose and he’d have to wear a plastic nose…. Needless to say, when the nurse arrived with forceps–looking very much like scissors– he freaked out.