What I’ve Learned: Shopping with a Baby

Yesterday I was shopping in Target with Bean and I heard a child a few aisles over having a MAJOR breakdown.  Bean himself was on the verge and it took some pretty fancy footwork on my part to keep him from losing his cool.  As I walked to my car I thought about how far I’d come as a mom.  Almost a year ago when Bean was born, I was terrified to take him anywhere and here I was running errands all day long with Bean now.  You hear all the time that your baby grows up so fast, but what I never thought about was that I have grown up so fast, too.  In just under a year, I have learned how to be someone’s mom.  I’ve learned when it’s time to call a doctor and when it’s something we can ride out ourselves.  I’ve learned when the best time to go out is and when it’s probably time to stay home.  I’ve learned how to feed, clothe, and bathe him.  I’ve learned when he’s pitching a hissy fit and when he’s really upset about something.  And while there are a million more things I’ll learn as Bean grows, I don’t want to let my own milestones as a mother pass by without patting myself on the back and saying, “Hey!  Congratulations!  You took your baby shopping with you and avoided major meltdowns today!  Way to go!”

On Bean’s page, I will be starting a new weekly feature called “What I’ve Learned.”  Each week I will profile some part of parenting that I feel like I’ve finally learned.  I hope that two things come out of this feature.  First, I hope that it helps other mom’s celebrate the small accomplishments we each make every day as parents.  It’s easy to lose to those things in the shuffle, but reminding ourselves of the small hurdles we’ve maneuvered like professionals can really make any parent’s day.  And secondly, I hope it shows the new moms and mothers-to-be out there that parenting doesn’t have to be overwhelming.  It can be small victories that are won after months of perfecting a skill, like changing a diaper or packing a diaper bag.  The features will highlight one area a week where I have learned a few tricks to make some part of parenting easier for me.  There is more than one way to skin a cat and more than a thousand ways to raise a baby, so there will, of course,  be other methods out there for the things I’m proposing.  But this feature is more about celebrating accomplishments as parents than it is telling you what to do.

First up in the What I’ve Learned feature is how to shop with a baby.

Like I said, in the early months of Bean’s life, I was scared to take him anywhere, especially without Chris.  What if he started crying uncontrollably?  What if he had a diaper blow out?  What if I locked him in the car?  Looking back, I wish I had taken more advantage of that age for day trips and outings.  When babies are really small, they are a lot easier to deal with when you’re out and about.  For the most part, they are quiet and since they aren’t mobile yet, they tend to just go where you want them to go.  Around six months old, Bean started to get a little more fidgety and outings became slightly harder.  But the good news at this age was that holding him was still a good way to calm him down.  So when he had a little meltdown or something, I could just pick him up and he was usually fine again.  But at almost a year old now, Bean has no use for being held.  In fact, that only seems to frustrate him more.  He’s mobile and he wants to be independently mobile at all times.  Which can make grocery shopping a little tricky.  Over the past couple months, we seem to have gotten into a pretty good groove with outings and with the use of a few key practices and tools while we’re out, I’m actually really enjoying taking Bean with me lately.

The shopping cart. Bean wants nothing to do with anything he’s seen before these days, and that includes his stroller.  He’s over it.  Hates it.  Wallows in it like a tortured soul.  But that’s where the shopping cart has been really great.  That’s something new to him in each store.  I used to always prefer to keep him in his own stroller over using one of those dirty shopping carts in the grocery store or Target, but with my mom’s homemade shopping cart cover, every cart becomes homey and clean.

Now, when Bean is in a shopping cart, I just clip a few toys to the seat cover and he’s ready to roll because he’s in a new place and that keeps him busy for a while.

Speaking of toys, I have a few toys that Bean only gets to play with when we’re out and about. I keep these handful of special toys in my diaper bag and he only gets them when we’re out somewhere.  I tried just bringing some toys from home for him but, like his stroller, he was over those toys because they weren’t anything new.  With these toys that he only sees when we’re out, it’s like giving him a new toy every time we go somewhere.  I have about 6 or 7 of them that I rotate when we’re out and because they seem so new to him, they keep him entertained a lot longer than a toy from home would.

The only criteria I have for these toys are that they have to be able to connect with links to the seat cover.  Bean throws things and if he tries to throw these, they don’t hit the floor, which means they stay relatively clean and, more importantly, I’m not crawling underneath clothing racks looking for a toy he has thrown.

I always make sure to bring juice. At home, I only give him 4 oz. of apple juice at a time, but when we go out somewhere, I make sure to pack a big ol’ 8 oz. bottle for him.  That way, it keeps him quiet a little longer than a 4 oz.  I give him the juice after he has gotten tired of the shopping cart fun and the special toys.  Juice really only became an option when we were out though when he was able to hold a bottle by himself.  I tried it before with me trying to hold it for him and it made a mess and I couldn’t get my shopping done.  It was almost more of a hassle then than a meltdown would have been.  But now that he can hold it himself, it has been a lifesaver MANY times.  I think he likes playing with it more than anything, so when he stops drinking and starts playing with the bottle, I just put the cap on so it doesn’t spill and let him go to town.

Food is the next step to avoiding a meltdown. If the shopping cart, toys, and juice all fail to entertain Bean then I know I have approximately 10 minutes until Def-com 5.  Food will distract him and keep him busy for about 5 minutes, really.  Mostly it’s just something new for him to have and that only lasts for a little while.  Typically, when I have to bring out the food, then I know it’s time to head to the check out counter and get ready to leave.  Usually, I try to bring a snack that he doesn’t normally get at home for the same reason as everything else.  Anything new or out of the ordinary keeps him entertained longer.  Lately, I’ve had a lot of luck with the brightly colored Goldfish.

I tried using those snack pack things that hold snacks for your baby without spilling them, but Bean figured out how to hold the flaps open and pour his snack all over the place.  Now, I give him one or two at a time and that keeps him busy while I finish up my shopping or check out.

And when all else fails, bring on the bitter biscuits. I really avoid these things at all costs, especially when we’re out in public, because they make such a huge mess.  But there are times when I can’t leave where I am (say, if I’m getting my oil changed or if we’re in the middle of lunch somewhere) and these have saved the day.  Biter biscuits are really just big ol’ teething cookies.  I’ve learned to give Bean 1/2 a cookie at a time because, like I said, he’s a thrower.  So if he throws the first one I give him, I have a backup without having to go through a whole new cookie.  I definitely learned that lesson the hard and expensive way…

The thing about these cookies are that even though they make a colossal mess, it takes Bean about 15 or 20 minutes to eat one.  So they really buy me some time in a pinch.  And he doesn’t get them often because of the mess so when he does have one it’s like giving a cat catnip.

Never take him out of the cart!! This is key for Bean.  The minute you take him out of the shopping cart and pick him up, he’ll NEVER GO BACK IN.  So, I really have to get creative about ways to keep him entertained and happy in his chair so that I don’t have to resort to taking him out.  Plus, taking him out doesn’t mean he’ll just hang with me.  Taking him out means he’ll start wiggling and screeching to be put down and that’s not an option in the middle of the grocery store.  So I really try to keep him in his seat as much as is humanly possible.

Remember that meltdowns happen. Even under perfect conditions with all the right tools and methods that normally work on Bean, kids have meltdowns.  I’ve learned that now.  Sometimes it’s my kid, sometimes it’s the kid a few aisles over.  But as parents, there will always be a chance that today is just not our kid’s day.  And when that happens, you just do what you gotta do.  If I really have to finish shopping and Bean is losing his mind, I just forge on.  Who really cares?  Sure, he’s crying or whatever, but he’s a baby!  He’s going to cry.  But if it’s possible for me to leave or start leaving at least when he has a meltdown, it’s easier for everyone.  I’ve left my full shopping cart just inside the store before and taken him for a walk in the parking lot to calm down and that works some of the time.  And sometimes I’ve had to abandon ship completely and just go home.  But, you know, that happens.  It doesn’t mean it’s your fault or your baby’s fault, it’s just part of being a good parent.  Knowing when you’re child has hit their limit.  And if that means you have to take them home, well, then I consider that a successful trip still because you knew how to handle the situation.

Being a parent is tough, but I think that makes it even more important to acknowledge when we’ve accomplished something.  And for me this week, that has been going shopping with Bean.

YAY ME!!!!!!!