It has come to my attention that I may have already done some irreversible damage to my son. At sixteen months old, I may have already ruined him.
EXAMPLES TO MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE A BETTER PARENT THAN ME:
Every time we pass a McDonald’s, Bean yells out, “Fench fyyyy!! Fench fyyy!!”
Bean can identify the following movies and television shows: Cars, Finding Nemo, Sid the Science Kid, and Dinosaur Train
Bean’s favorite food is chicken fingers.
I use the vacuum cleaner so infrequently that Bean screams hysterically whenever I do happen to bring it out.
Chris taught Bean to say boobs. (Though technically, that one is not my fault…)
Bean thinks toes are actually called Piggies. He doesn’t know what toes are.
One afternoon I tried to teach Bean that there was a baby in my belly by pointing to my stomach and saying, “Baby.” He now points to any larger woman’s belly and says, quite distinctly, “BABY!”
He thinks his ear is his nose. (Not sure how that one happened.)
On some nights, ketchup counts as a vegetable in our house.
Sometimes I count ranch dressing as a vegetable, too.
I have been known to give Bean a “bath” on his changing table by washing him down with a washcloth.
I don’t share food with anyone, not even my son. Not even if he cries.
I applaud when Bean burps.
So, there. You can’t possibly have scarred your young children in such a short amount of time as I have scarred Bean.
Glad I could make you feel better.