Bean,  Health,  Marriage Confessions,  Parenting

The Shot Heard Around the Waiting Room

Beanie had his two-month old doctors appointment today.   And you know what that means.   Immunizations.   Which is just fancy doctors speak for, “Let me hurt your child and then give him back to you screaming.”   In case you find yourself at some point in your life holding a screaming child as he is “immunized,” allow me to offer some guidance…

Things To Have Handy When Your Child Receives His Shots:

1.   A dirty diaper. Oh, yes.   Be sure your child poos his pants just before you go into the exam room, just like Beanie did.   And be sure you don’t bring an extra diaper with you.   This will ensure your pediatrician doesn’t waste any time during your appointment.   Nothing like a potent smell in a tiny room to get things moving.

2.   An extra binky. This will come in handy when your child starts crying in the waiting room before the appointment even begins.   When he propels his binky across the room during a temper tantrum, you will find an extra, clean binky to be quite an asset.   Otherwise, you will be forced to stand in said waiting room with your finger shoved into your baby’s mouth to keep him from crying even louder.   At least, that’s what I’ve heard…

3.   A crowbar. This is to pry to your child your arms as you hand him over to Dr. Evil.   You will find that even babies who are usually pretty independent, like Beanie, will suddenly attach themselves to you like a koala with a death grip when in the presence of a pediatrician.   Babies can sense evil.

4.   A blindfold. When the pediatrician stabs your baby with that first needle, you will want to avoid at all costs the look of sheer panic and betrayal that your baby gives you just before the sound of his screaming explodes into the tiny exam   room.   Trust me.   You don’t want to see that look.   Ever.

5.   Earplugs. These help with the previously referenced explosive screaming.

Good thing Beanies got some extra padding in the thigh area...
Good thing Beanie's got some extra padding in the thigh area...

6.   Tissues, paper towels, toilet paper, or similar products used to wipe up obscene amounts of liquid. You will want to clean yourself up before the doctor opens the exam door and other parents can see that the loudest wailing was not, in fact, your two-month old baby.

7.   A pony and/or pirate ship. This will be the only thing that you could possibly give your child that may come close to making you feel better about what you both just experienced.   If your child receives more than four shots in one office visit, make sure the cannons work on the pirate ship.

I think you’ll find this list adequate in preparing you and your baby for the first round of immunizations.

Actually, that’s a load of crap.   Nothing can prepare you for the first round of immunizations.   Nothing.   Although, Beanie seemed to take it much better than I did.   He cried like crazy, but it really only lasted about five minutes.   Sure, it was the five longest minutes of my life, but still.

And now, if you’ll excuse me.   I have a pony in my backyard that needs to be fed and a pirate in my bathroom that needs more toilet paper.

16 Comments

  • Hilary

    Can I offer another suggestion? Stay in the waiting room with your fingers in your ears. Let hubby do the dirty work so the baby will start associating HIM with the awful experience and love you better. Okay, the truth is I am a total wimp and couldn’t stand to watch so like a baby (no pun intended), I always wait in the waiting room. Here’s the bad news: these are the first of MANY vaccines during year one. It sucks. Just remember that Beanie won’t remember a thing (like that ever helps).

  • Christina

    I know that look TOO well! We just had our 4mos. immunizations yesterday – and coincidently got the SAME bandaid! Ok well one that looks just like that 😉 Hugs to you and Beanie!

  • Donna

    Just to warn you, at one of your son’s checkups during the first year he will receive 4 or 5 shots (my drs office does them two at a time to get it over with). We hate the shots too.

  • Lori @ I Can Grow People

    Even though I had seen my baby get poked with needles for several blood tests as a result of his jaundice (nothing like seeing your baby get poked with a pin in the heel of his foot and watching as a tech SQUEEZES blood from his foot into a vile!),I still felt badly seeing him get his first shots. Porter goes for his 4 month shots in about a week and a half. Oy vey.

  • Whitney

    Oh my gosh wasnt that the worst!? I just sat there and cried right along with P. She only screamed for a few seconds though and the was zonked out for like 4 hours. But after her nap she was quite the little diva. tylenol. give Beanie tylenol.

  • Kate

    Poor Beanie! I hope he’s feeling better soon.
    My baby Bridget just had her 2 month check-up today and got shots, too. I made her Daddy take off the morning to go with me because I couldn’t stand the thought of going alone (I’m a big baby apparently). Bridget did surprisingly well and only cried during the actual shots and was fine afterward. I was a mess though. Now, a few hours later, she’s fighting her nap and screaming her head off every few seconds. I think it’s time for that Tylonol they mentioned earlier.

  • Toni

    Yep, tylenol works wonders. Our doc even suggested giving it about 20 minutes before the appt. to give it time to work about when the shots are given. I do think, though, our 9 year old still screams like this whenever she gets hurt, LOL

  • Christina

    Oh my, I remember leaving that first post-hospital appointment, strapping my newborn in the carseat, and crying all the way home, while I looked in the rear view mirror thinking what a terrible mom I was for putting her through that, and she slept the whole way home. Ha, ha. It’s worse for the moms, for sure. That look they give you is so sad, though. You’re right about that!

  • Michelle Uhlfelder

    Oh my goodness- Poor Beanie! Henry got his shots for the first time last month and I was crying in the corner while my husband comforted the baby. I WAS A MESS!!!!! So after the shots, I stayed in the room to nurse him. My husband went back to work…and then Henry pooped ALL OVER ME. (and not the easy to clean kind- went through the diaper and outfit to make a special appearance on my dress) The best part: I HAD to go to Publix after (no ifs, ands, buts about it) so I walked in with poop all over my dress. The cherry on top was that I had let-down in the middle of the store- and no breast pad. I got lots of stares to say the least. Yeah, I don’t think shot day can be fun or easy. Go figure! At least you’ll remember it forever- I’m just scared of the 4 month old shots…Yicks!!!!

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